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American Pie 2

American Pie 2 quotes

49 total quotes

Jim Levenstein
Multiple Characters
Steve Stifler




View Quote [Jim's Dad sees Jim looking at pictures of Nadia]
Jim's Dad: Ah, yes, the one that got away.
Jim: Yeah.
Jim's Dad: Yeah. Well, evidently you two made quite the handsome couple on the Internet. Oh, I didn't see it. It, uh, was brought up at a PTA meeting.
View Quote [Stifler's brother shows off two girls he picked up]
Stifler: Brilliant. You found lesbians. Good luck trying to break through that force field.
Danielle: Lesbians?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: What?
Amber: We never said that.
Stifler: Oh, oh, man. I will do anything, anything to sleep with you chicks, okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. I'll caress it, even! I'll even shave some ass if they need it! Oh, yeah! You heard me! I will kiss everybody here! Dudes, chicks, everybody! Because I am comfortable with my sexuality!
View Quote [the two "lesbians" are making the guys play with each other, in exchange for the girls playing with each other. Jim and Stifler give each other a split-second long peck on the lips.]
Jim: That counted!
Stifler: That totally counted!
Danielle: That's the way you kiss your mother.
Stifler: [angry whisper to Finch] Don't you say anything!
[later]
[the girls request handjobs: Jim and Finch doing Stifler]
Stifler: It's okay, it's okay. I know what I have to do.
[starts undoing his shorts]
Stifler: I have to keep this party going. I'm taking one for the team.
[Finch and Jim run away]
Jim: Mother of God!
[Stifler runs after them, zipping up his shorts]
Stifler: Come on you pussies, we had 'em!
Finch: I am not touching that!
Jim: Put that thing away Stifler!
Stifler: Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing!
View Quote [Two uniformed police officers are walking up to Stifler's house to break up his party.]
Officer 1: This is the Stifler house, isn't it? You ever see Mrs. Stifler?
Officer 2: Jeez, what a MILF.
View Quote [Two uniformed police officers break up Stifler's house party.]
Officer: Where's Steve Stifler?
[Stifler enters from the balcony incident, wet and looking distraught]
Stifler: I got peed on.
View Quote [after Finch describes watering a ficus as a "pure tantric moment"] Finch, stay the **** away from that ficus. That is a jizz-free ficus.
View Quote [answers the phone after awkward situation with Jim and Finch] Stif-meister's palace of love--uh, straight love.
View Quote [Thinks champagne is being poured onto his head when he's actually being urinated on from the balcony] Oh, I can taste the bubbles! Actually, I can't.
View Quote [When walking past a girl in a short skirt before a lecture]] Ooh! There's little hearts on her panties! There's little hearts on her panties!
View Quote Finch, fist yourself!
View Quote I kind of super-glued myself to, uh, myself.
View Quote Jim, can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.
View Quote Ladies, I am down with the funky shit.
View Quote Oh God, I kissed Jim.
View Quote Oh, yeah! The Stif-meister's coming back to Grand Harbor! Deck the halls, bye-bye Great Falls, wipe my ass and lick my balls! It's Stifler time, baby! Whoo-hoo-hoo!