Jim's Dad quotes

View Quote I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.

View Quote [On condoms] Well, they're safer than a tube sock...

View Quote We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.

View Quote [to Jim] Now, do you know what a clitoris is?