View Quote
Dusty: I told you, Wolf. The only way to make this picture is to have twelve different camera angles with birds flying around. Oh, and by the by, Confucius say, uh... KA-STANG! You're busted!
View Quote
The Masher: [repeated line] OH MY GOD!
View Quote
Tow truck guy: They told me to pick up a little blue car. They didn't say anything about a little blue man!
View Quote
Jaleel White: [on the set of Whitaker and Fowl, talking to his co-star, a chicken] Listen, Whitaker, I'm not your sister, I'm not your girlfriend, and I'm not your priest. So, if you wanna remain my partner, I got two words for you, shut the heck up! You talk way too much! OK, can we cut? Can we... cause this, this ain't workin' for me at all. What are you, doing, are you fumigating me or something!
Marty: Move!
Producer: Moving.
Marty: Why did you call "cut"? I did not tell you to stop acting, Urkel!
Jaleel: Wolf, how many times have I told you NOT to call me Urkel? My name is Jaleel White, okay? Urkel was a character I played when I was a child!
Marty: Okay, "Jaleel"! What's the problem, huh?
Jaleel: You want to know the problem? You wanna know the problem? I'm getting nothing from the chicken, that's the problem. He just sits there with his head all slumped over. I have absolutely no idea what my motivation is!
Marty: Okay, well you're a police officer named Fowl.
Jaleel: Mmm-hmmm.
Marty: Your new partner is a crime fighting chicken named Whitaker. And your motivation is a nice fat pay check that's keeping you from working at the drive-thru window at McDonald's!
Jaleel: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! Watch yourself, Wolf, watch yourself!
Marty: No, you watch yourself, pal! You're just lucky I'm not making you wear the freaky glasses and suspenders.
Marty: Move!
Producer: Moving.
Marty: Why did you call "cut"? I did not tell you to stop acting, Urkel!
Jaleel: Wolf, how many times have I told you NOT to call me Urkel? My name is Jaleel White, okay? Urkel was a character I played when I was a child!
Marty: Okay, "Jaleel"! What's the problem, huh?
Jaleel: You want to know the problem? You wanna know the problem? I'm getting nothing from the chicken, that's the problem. He just sits there with his head all slumped over. I have absolutely no idea what my motivation is!
Marty: Okay, well you're a police officer named Fowl.
Jaleel: Mmm-hmmm.
Marty: Your new partner is a crime fighting chicken named Whitaker. And your motivation is a nice fat pay check that's keeping you from working at the drive-thru window at McDonald's!
Jaleel: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! Watch yourself, Wolf, watch yourself!
Marty: No, you watch yourself, pal! You're just lucky I'm not making you wear the freaky glasses and suspenders.
View Quote
Jason: Ms. Caldwell--- Can I call you Phyllis?
Phyllis: No.
Jason: Understood. As much as I wanted to write my paper, I mean I really really wanted to write my paper I couldn't and it's because I spent all last night in Greenbury General Emergency room. See, my mom made Swedish meatballs for dinner. It'd my dad's favorite and he was so excited he accidently swallowed one whole. It was awful. He started choking, his face turned purple. The meatball was litterly bulging out of his neck. We rushed to the ER. I kept trying to write my paper in the waiting room but it was too hard. I needed to be by my father's side. After all he's the only dad I got.
Phyllis: You are lying through your teeth, you little demon.
Phyllis: No.
Jason: Understood. As much as I wanted to write my paper, I mean I really really wanted to write my paper I couldn't and it's because I spent all last night in Greenbury General Emergency room. See, my mom made Swedish meatballs for dinner. It'd my dad's favorite and he was so excited he accidently swallowed one whole. It was awful. He started choking, his face turned purple. The meatball was litterly bulging out of his neck. We rushed to the ER. I kept trying to write my paper in the waiting room but it was too hard. I needed to be by my father's side. After all he's the only dad I got.
Phyllis: You are lying through your teeth, you little demon.
View Quote
Jason: Ms. Caldwell--- Can I call you Phyllis?
Phyllis: No.
Jason: Understood. But, as much as I wanted to write my paper, I mean I really really wanted to write my paper I couldn't and it's because I spent all last night in Greenbury General Emergency room. See, my mom made Swedish meatballs for dinner. It'd my dad's favorite and he was so excited he accidently swallowed one whole. It was awful. He started choking, his face turned purple. The meatball was litterly bulging out of his neck. We rushed to the ER. I kept trying to write my paper in the waiting room but it was too hard. I needed to be by my father's side. After all he's the only dad I got.
Phyllis: You are lying through your teeth, you little demon.
Phyllis: No.
Jason: Understood. But, as much as I wanted to write my paper, I mean I really really wanted to write my paper I couldn't and it's because I spent all last night in Greenbury General Emergency room. See, my mom made Swedish meatballs for dinner. It'd my dad's favorite and he was so excited he accidently swallowed one whole. It was awful. He started choking, his face turned purple. The meatball was litterly bulging out of his neck. We rushed to the ER. I kept trying to write my paper in the waiting room but it was too hard. I needed to be by my father's side. After all he's the only dad I got.
Phyllis: You are lying through your teeth, you little demon.
View Quote
Kaylee: I want to see a broken man people. I mean broken as in 'I hit a baseball through the window' broken. I want you to turn him into mince meat, and I don't even know what mince meat is! I want him to cry for his mommy! Wah! Wah! Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Do you read me 'cause I don't think you read me?
'Jason: I think they read you.
Kaylee: Fair enough.
'Jason: I think they read you.
Kaylee: Fair enough.
View Quote
Kaylee: What's with the Cokes?
Jason: The machine! It's rigged! They're free! Haha, they're free!
Jason: The machine! It's rigged! They're free! Haha, they're free!
View Quote
Marty: Let go of the monkey.
Jason: Call my Dad.
Marty: Never.
Jason: Yes.
Marty: NOOOO!!! Ah! That's it, kid! It's over! You lose, and I win!
Jason: I don't think so, Wolf.
Marty: Oh, you don't think so? Come on, Jason. You're smarter than that. You write a story, I steal it, and now I'm about to start shooting the greatest movie of my career.
Jason Shepherd: So you admit you stole my story?
Marty: We've been over this. It's ancient history. Yeah, I stole your story, whoop-de-doodle-do! You happy now? I STOLE JASON SHEPHERD'S PAPER AND TURNED IT INTO BIG FAT LIAR! You know who's listening, pal, hmm? No one. And they never will. So for the last time, give it up, because I will never, ever, ever, like never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, infinity, tell the truth. [blows raspberry]
Jason: Because the truth's overrated, right?
Marty: That's right!
Dusty: And cut!
Jason: Call my Dad.
Marty: Never.
Jason: Yes.
Marty: NOOOO!!! Ah! That's it, kid! It's over! You lose, and I win!
Jason: I don't think so, Wolf.
Marty: Oh, you don't think so? Come on, Jason. You're smarter than that. You write a story, I steal it, and now I'm about to start shooting the greatest movie of my career.
Jason Shepherd: So you admit you stole my story?
Marty: We've been over this. It's ancient history. Yeah, I stole your story, whoop-de-doodle-do! You happy now? I STOLE JASON SHEPHERD'S PAPER AND TURNED IT INTO BIG FAT LIAR! You know who's listening, pal, hmm? No one. And they never will. So for the last time, give it up, because I will never, ever, ever, like never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, infinity, tell the truth. [blows raspberry]
Jason: Because the truth's overrated, right?
Marty: That's right!
Dusty: And cut!
View Quote
[After finding out, in his mirror, that his whole body is blue] [screams in horror] OH, MY GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OD!!!!!!!!
View Quote
[After picking up his stuffed monkey while dancing to "Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran.] Let's dance, Funnybones!
View Quote
But you are a liar.
View Quote
Grow up Shepherd! This is Hollywood baby. It's a dog-eat-dog town. Worse. We got cats eatin' cats. We got fish munchin' fish. We play by our own rules.
View Quote
Hey, where do you think you're going? YOU CANNOT TURN YOUR BACKS ON ME! I'M MARTY WOLF! All right, fine! FINE! YOU'RE ALL FIRED!
View Quote
I think we can confirm here we're dealing with THE MEANEST MAN ALIVE!