Bruce quotes
View Quote
All the greatest anchors have had their signature sign-off, like Walter Cronkite. And that's the way it was. That's the way the cookie crumbles. That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.
View Quote
First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber... Pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me.
View Quote
[A disguised God has been showing Bruce signs all day; his latest one reads "LIFE IS JUST"] Just? Just get a clue!
View Quote
Anyway, I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mom. Tell me: Why did you throw the blue Heart of the Ocean jewel over the railing of the Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown while you were safe, floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ASS off?!
View Quote
That is perfect! That is the motivation that I needed! Right there! Thank you. Thank you, WKBW! Wimpy Kiddy Baby Whiners! THAT'S WHAT THAT STANDS FOR! I'll see you on Channel 5, where they do the real news.
View Quote
B-E-A-utiful.
View Quote
Fine! The gloves are off pal! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!!!
View Quote
You can't leave me! I'm the Alpha, lady! I'M THE OMEGA, BABY! Okay, fine, I don't need you!
View Quote
Okay, You win. I'm done. Please, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be God! I want You to decide what's right for me! I SURRENDER TO YOUR WILL!
View Quote
I AM BRUCE ALMIGHTY! MY WILL BE DONE!
View Quote
(sampling wine at he and Grace's date) It's perfect. She'll love it.
View Quote
Smite me oh mighty smiter!
View Quote
(sarcastically) Yes, let's thank God, for his blessings are raining down upon me. WAIT! THAT'S NOT RAIN!