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Death to Smoochy

Death to Smoochy quotes

33 total quotes

Rainbow Randolph
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy

[As Randolph and Buggy are dangling from a ceiling catwalk] Let go of me you ****ING JUNKIE!

[singing] He slams the door, He stomps his feet, He sends me to bed with zilch to eat. But my step-dad's not mean, he's just adjusting.

[Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped cookie made by Randolph] What are you, blind? It's a ****! It's not a rocket, you sick ****! It's a ****! Look. It's a **** and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.

[to a baby, after framing Sheldon] Hello, little nipple-nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi!

[to Sheldon] Bite me, Buddha!

[to Sheldon] Do not start with your magician's tricks, young Moses! I am Pharaoh! And you are my slave...and this is my kingdom!

Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam mother****er!

Captain Kangaroo, like Jesus Christ, was someone you could really believe in. With those guys, it wasn't about the bells and whistles and the rickety-rackety; it was all about the work. Especially Jesus.

Don't talk to me like that. I am not your puppet.

Even when you're squeaky clean, you can still fall in the mud.

Let's face it. Big junkies come from little junkies. We gotta nip this in the bud, Burke!

Now I'm not pointing any fingers, Lord knows you start pointing fingers and someone's gonna get poked. And I want you both to know that its not my intention to try and...poke either of you.

Someone toss me a beach towel because my head is swimming.

That fuschia ****! I'm gonna tear him apart, piece by piece!

There are a lot of kids and a lot of junkies out there who are counting on me.