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Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead quotes

31 total quotes

Sue Ellen Crandell

Mom: Why did you leave your dishes in the sink, for me?
Sue Ellen: God, you take these things so personally.

Mom: Zach. Put it back, right now. If you need money, ask me first.
Zach: Okay then, can I have ten dollars?
Mom: Forget it.

Mrs. Sturak: Time for little boys to be in bed.
Zach: Can't you see I'm in the middle of a date?
Mrs. Sturak: [Opening the car door and tossing Cynthia out] And time for little trollops to go home!

Rose: Sue Ellen, have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm?
Sue Ellen: No, I've never been to Santa Barbara.

Rose: Where's Carolyn? Mouse brown hair, gives you a headache.
Sue Ellen: Talks like she's chewing her face?
Rose: That's her.

Rose: Why don't you go on home, have a glass of wine and put some cu****ber slices on your eyes, you'll feel much better.
Sue Ellen: Well, I'm all out of cu****bers.
Rose: Sue Ellen, every girl over twenty-five should have a cu****ber in the house.

Sue Ellen: Did you turn the air conditioner on?
Kenny: Yeah, well I was hot.
Sue Ellen: Look I'm stuck with the bills, I would like to keep that thermostat at seventy-six, okay?
Kenny: Wow, you take these things so personally.

Sue Ellen: Go get that tape measure thing out of the garage.
Kenny: Would you stop ordering us around, you're not the babysitter.
Sue Ellen: That's right Kenny, the babysitter is dead. Just do it.

Sue Ellen: Kenny, why don't you save your last three brain cells, you might need them.
Kenny: I won't!

Sue Ellen: Why are you guys wearing name tags?
Walter: She says she has trouble remembering things.
Melissa: We're supposed to wear them at all times, and she's getting us up at the butt crack of dawn to tidy up the garage.

Walter: She doesn't look dead.
Zach: That's because it just happened. So you can't really tell, like on MacGyver.

Zach: Call the cops.
Sue Ellen: Oh yeah, what are we going to say, Liza Minnelli stole our Buick?

Zach: We told you to talk to her. We didn't want you to send her to the glue factory.
Sue Ellen: I didn't kill her, Zach. She died in her sleep.
Melissa: Probably choked on her whistle.

[repeated line] I'm right on top of that Rose.

No-one'll hire a teenager to do anything that isn't disgusting.