Ferris Bueller's Day Off quotes

View Quote Ed Rooney: [a baseball game is on TV] What's the score?
Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' nothin'.
Ed Rooney: Who's winning?
Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.

View Quote Ed Rooney: [talking to Cameron on the phone (who is posing as Sloane's father), thinking it is Ferris] Tell you what dipshit, if you don't like my policies, you can come down here and smooch my big ol' white butt.
Grace: Ed!
Ed Rooney: Pucker up, buttercup. [to Grace] What?
Grace: Ferris Bueller's on line two.

View Quote Ed Rooney: Are you also aware, Mrs. Bueller, that Ferris does not have what we consider to be an exemplary attendance record?
Katie Bueller: I don't understand.
Ed Rooney: He has missed an unacceptable number of school days. In the opinion of this educator, Ferris is not taking his academic growth seriously. Now I've spent my morning examining his records. If Ferris thinks that he can just coast through this month and still graduate, he is sorely mistaken. I have no reservations whatsoever about holding him back another year.
Katie Bueller: This is all news to me.
Ed Rooney: It usually is. So far this semester he has been absent nine times.
Katie Bueller: Nine times?
Ed Rooney: Nine times.
Katie Bueller: I don't remember him being sick nine times.
Ed Rooney: That's probably because he wasn't sick. He was skipping school. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mrs. Bueller. It's a fool's paradise. He is just leading you down the primrose path.
Katie Bueller: I can't believe it.
Ed Rooney: I've got it right here in front of me. He has missed nine days...
[His computer screen begins counting down from nine to two. Ferris is at home looking at the same screen]
Ferris: I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?

View Quote Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief.
Sloane: Great.

View Quote Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him.
Grace: Well, with your bad knee Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody... Its true.
Ed Rooney: What is so dangerous about a character like Ferris Bueller is he gives good kids bad ideas. Last thing I need at this point in my career is fifteen hundred Ferris Bueller disciples running around these halls. He jeopardizes my ability to effectively govern this student body.
Grace: He makes you look like an ass, is what he does, Ed.
Ed Rooney: Thank you Grace, but I think you're wrong.
Grace: Oh, he's very popular, Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads — they all adore him. They all think he's a righteous dude.
Ed Rooney: That is why I need to show these kids that the example he sets is a first-class-ticket-to-nowhere!
Grace: Oh, Ed. You sounded like Dirty Harry just then.
Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.

View Quote Ferris: Cameron, babe! What's happening?
Cameron: Very little.
Ferris: Is your mother in the room?
Cameron: She's in Decatur. Unfortunately she's not staying.

View Quote Ferris: Cameron, what have you seen today?
Cameron: Nothing good.
Ferris: Nothing - wha - what do you mean nothing good? We've seen everything good. We've seen the whole city! We went to a museum, we saw priceless works of art! We ate pancreas!

View Quote Ferris: Cameron? How many miles did you say this thing had when we left?
Cameron: One hundred and twenty six and halfway between three and four tenths. Why? How many miles are on it now? [glances at odometer, which reads 301.7 miles]
Ferris: [to audience] Here's where Cameron goes berserk.
[Cameron screams, which can be heard all aroun Chicago]

View Quote Ferris: Do you have a kiss for Daddy?
Sloane: Are you kidding? [kisses him]
Ed Rooney: [watching them, believing Ferris to be Sloane's father] Hmm. So, that's how it is in their family.

View Quote Ferris: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.
Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.
Ferris: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive. [adjusts his beret] Let's go.
Cameron: Let's surrender.
Ferris: Never.

View Quote Ferris: Hi. Do you speak English?
Garage Attendant: Uh, what country do you think this is?

View Quote Ferris: If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.
Cameron: You've been saying that since the fifth grade.

View Quote Ferris: Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my personal favorites and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen anything good today - Cameron Frye, this one's for you.
Sloane: Ferris! Get off of the float!

View Quote Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Cameron: How?
Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.

View Quote Ferris: Mr. Rooney would never believe Mr. Peterson drives that piece of shit.
Cameron: It's not piece of shit.
Ferris: It is a piece of shit! Don't worry about it, I don't even have a piece of shit! I have to envy yours.
Cameron: Oh, thanks.