Multiple Characters quotes
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Juliet: We've never got friendly. I just wanted to say I hope that can change. I'm nice, I really am, apart from my terrible taste in pie. And it would be great if we could be friends.
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Karl: Life is full of interruptions and complications.
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Mia: I'll just be hanging round the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.
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Sarah: [on phone] Hello, babe. No, I'm not busy, no - fire away.
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The President of the U.S.: I'll give you anything you ask for - as long as it's not something I don't want to give.
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Harry: [to Rufus the gift-wrapper] NO! No bloody holly!
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Billy Mack: [about his new song] This is shit, isn't it?
Joe: [gleefully] Yep, solid gold shit, maestro.
Joe: [gleefully] Yep, solid gold shit, maestro.
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Parky: This must be a very exciting moment for you, fighting for the Christmas number one. How's it looking so far?
Billy Mack: Very bad indeed. Blue are outselling me five to one. But I'm hoping for a late surge. And if I reach number one, I promise to sing the song stark naked on TV on Christmas Eve.
Parky: Do you mean that?
Billy Mack: Well of course I mean it. Do you want a preview? You old flirt.
[stands in front of Parky and flashes at him]
Parky: That'll never make number one!
Billy Mack: Very bad indeed. Blue are outselling me five to one. But I'm hoping for a late surge. And if I reach number one, I promise to sing the song stark naked on TV on Christmas Eve.
Parky: Do you mean that?
Billy Mack: Well of course I mean it. Do you want a preview? You old flirt.
[stands in front of Parky and flashes at him]
Parky: That'll never make number one!
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Daniel: [knocks on Sam's door] Sam, time for dinner.
Sam: I'm not hungry.
Daniel: Sam... I've done chicken kebabs!
Sam: Didn't you see the sign on the door?
[He starts practising his drums; Daniel leans back and sees the sign, which says, "I SAID - I'M NOT HUNGRY"]
Daniel: Okay...
Sam: I'm not hungry.
Daniel: Sam... I've done chicken kebabs!
Sam: Didn't you see the sign on the door?
[He starts practising his drums; Daniel leans back and sees the sign, which says, "I SAID - I'M NOT HUNGRY"]
Daniel: Okay...
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Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
...
Daniel: Option One: ask her out.
Sam: Impossible.
Daniel: Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
Sam: She's the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
Daniel: Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
Sam: It's a route I've considered.
Daniel: And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of...
Sam: Hygiene.
...
Daniel: All right, we can definitely crack this. I was a kid once too, remember. Now, it's someone at school?
Sam: Yes.
Daniel: Good, good. And how does she... or he... feel about you?
Sam: She doesn't even know my name. And even if she did, she'd despise me. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven.
Daniel: Hmmm...
[sits on the couch next to Sam]
Daniel: Well... [grins] Basically, you're ****ed, aren't you?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: OK. The truth is actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, OK, right. Well, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, you know - I thought it might be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
...
Daniel: Option One: ask her out.
Sam: Impossible.
Daniel: Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend.
Sam: She's the most popular girl in school and she hates boys.
Daniel: Okay. Option Three: kidnap her and keep her tied up in your room until she agrees to marry you.
Sam: It's a route I've considered.
Daniel: And quite rightly rejected on the grounds of...
Sam: Hygiene.
...
Daniel: All right, we can definitely crack this. I was a kid once too, remember. Now, it's someone at school?
Sam: Yes.
Daniel: Good, good. And how does she... or he... feel about you?
Sam: She doesn't even know my name. And even if she did, she'd despise me. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven.
Daniel: Hmmm...
[sits on the couch next to Sam]
Daniel: Well... [grins] Basically, you're ****ed, aren't you?
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Sam: Daniel, I have a plan!
Daniel: Thank the Lord! Tell me.
Sam: Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
Daniel: Uh-huh.
Sam: Even the really weird ones get girlfriends.
Daniel: That's right. Meatloaf definitely got laid at least once. For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl!
Sam: [looks at him strangely] Whatever. There's a big concert at the end of the term, and Joanna's going to be in it. I thought, if I was in the concert, and played really, really well, there's a chance she might fall in love with me. What do you think?
Daniel: I think it's brilliant! It's stellar! Uh, apart from the one little, obvious, tiny, little baby hiccup...
Sam: That I don't play a musical instrument.
Daniel: Yessir.
Sam: A tiny, insignificant detail.
Daniel: Thank the Lord! Tell me.
Sam: Well, girls love musicians, don't they?
Daniel: Uh-huh.
Sam: Even the really weird ones get girlfriends.
Daniel: That's right. Meatloaf definitely got laid at least once. For God's sake, Ringo Starr married a Bond girl!
Sam: [looks at him strangely] Whatever. There's a big concert at the end of the term, and Joanna's going to be in it. I thought, if I was in the concert, and played really, really well, there's a chance she might fall in love with me. What do you think?
Daniel: I think it's brilliant! It's stellar! Uh, apart from the one little, obvious, tiny, little baby hiccup...
Sam: That I don't play a musical instrument.
Daniel: Yessir.
Sam: A tiny, insignificant detail.
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Daniel: You know, Sammy, I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary, but... the general wisdom is that, in the end, there isn't just one person for each of us.
Sam: [referring to the Titanic film] There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me.
[Holds up one finger]
Sam: She's "the one".
Daniel: Fair enough.
Sam: [referring to the Titanic film] There was for Kate and Leo. There was for you. There is for me.
[Holds up one finger]
Sam: She's "the one".
Daniel: Fair enough.
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Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here?
Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?
Sarah: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes.
Harry: I thought as much.
Sarah: Do you think everybody knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Do you think Karl knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Oh that is bad news.
Harry: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it.
Sarah: Like what?
Harry: Invite him out for a drink and then after about twenty minutes casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.
Sarah: You know that?
Harry: Yes. And so does Karl. Think about it. For all our sakes. It's Christmas.
Sarah: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss.
Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?
Sarah: Ahm, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes.
Harry: I thought as much.
Sarah: Do you think everybody knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Do you think Karl knows?
Harry: Yes.
Sarah: Oh that is bad news.
Harry: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it.
Sarah: Like what?
Harry: Invite him out for a drink and then after about twenty minutes casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.
Sarah: You know that?
Harry: Yes. And so does Karl. Think about it. For all our sakes. It's Christmas.
Sarah: Certainly. Excellent. Will do. Thanks, boss.
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Karen: Loitering around the jewellery counter, I see!
Harry: No. I was just looking around.
Karen: Don't worry, my expectations are not that high after 13 years of Mr. "Oh-but-you-always-LOVE-scarves"!
Harry: No. I was just looking around.
Karen: Don't worry, my expectations are not that high after 13 years of Mr. "Oh-but-you-always-LOVE-scarves"!
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Sarah: [about Peter] Do you love him?
Mark: What?
Sarah: I just thought I'd ask the blunt question in case it was the right one and you needed someone to talk to about it.
Mark: What?
Sarah: I just thought I'd ask the blunt question in case it was the right one and you needed someone to talk to about it.
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Karen: So what's this big news, then?
Daisy: [excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.
Karen: The lobster?
Daisy: Yeah!
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, first lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Daisy: Duh.
Daisy: [excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.
Karen: The lobster?
Daisy: Yeah!
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, first lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Daisy: Duh.
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Dec: Billy, I believe you've brought a prize for our competition winners.
Billy Mack: Yes I have, Ant or Dec. It's a personalized felt tip pen.
Billy Mack: Yes I have, Ant or Dec. It's a personalized felt tip pen.
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[The new Prime Minister has just arrived in Number Ten Downing Street]
Annie: Would you like to meet your household staff?
Prime Minister: Yes, I would like that very much indeed. Anything to put off actually running the country.
Annie: Would you like to meet your household staff?
Prime Minister: Yes, I would like that very much indeed. Anything to put off actually running the country.
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Natalie: [meeting the Prime Minister] Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "****", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to **** up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "****", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to **** up on the first day. Oh, piss-it!
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Annie: Right, I'll just go get my things, and then let's fix the country, shall we?
Prime Minister: Yeah, I can't see why not.
Prime Minister: Yeah, I can't see why not.
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Prime Minister: I'm not so sure politics and dating really go together.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yes, well, the difference is that you're sickeningly handsome whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yes, well, the difference is that you're sickeningly handsome whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.
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Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit?
The President of the U.S.: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for and our special relationship is still very special.
Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.
The President of the U.S.: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for and our special relationship is still very special.
Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship". Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship. A relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward, I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.
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Jamie: Ah, bonjour Eleonore.
Eleonore: Bonjour, Monsieur Bennett. Welcome back and this year you bring a lady guest?
Jamie: Uh, no, there's a change of situation. It's just me.
Eleonore: Oh. Am I sad or not sad?
Jamie: Well, I think you're not surprised.
Eleonore: Bonjour, Monsieur Bennett. Welcome back and this year you bring a lady guest?
Jamie: Uh, no, there's a change of situation. It's just me.
Eleonore: Oh. Am I sad or not sad?
Jamie: Well, I think you're not surprised.
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Eleonore: This is Aurelia
Jamie: Ah. Uh, bonjour, Aurelia.
Aurelia: Bonjour.
Jamie: (speaks broken French)
Eleonore: Uh, unfortunately she cannot speak French, just like you.
Jamie: Ah. Uh, bonjour, Aurelia.
Aurelia: Bonjour.
Jamie: (speaks broken French)
Eleonore: Uh, unfortunately she cannot speak French, just like you.
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Jamie: It's my favorite time of day, driving you.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] It is the saddest part of my day, leaving you.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] It is the saddest part of my day, leaving you.
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Natalie: [talking about her ex-boyfriend] He says no one's going to fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
Prime Minister: Right. Goodness. Well, well. You know, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I'll think about it.
Prime Minister: Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.
Prime Minister: Right. Goodness. Well, well. You know, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I'll think about it.
Prime Minister: Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away.
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Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well. Thanks for that, Bill.
Billy Mack: For what?
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh... best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow!
Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.
Billy Mack: For what?
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh... best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow!
Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.
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[Aurelia jumps into the lake with hardly any clothes on to save Jamie's book, which has blown in]
Jamie: Oh God, she's in. And now she'll think I'm a total spaz if I don't go in too.
[takes off his sweater]
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] ****. It's cold.
[Jamie falls in]
Jamie: ****. It's freezing! ****!
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] This stuff better be good.
Jamie: It's not worth it you know, this isn't bloody Shakespeare.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] I don't want to drown saving some shit my grandmother could have written.
Jamie: Just stop, stop.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] What kind of idiot doesn't make copies?
Jamie: I really must do copies.
[pause]
Jamie: You know, there'd better not be eels in here. I can't stand eels.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] Try not to disturb the eels.
Jamie: [screams in shock because of the eels] Oh God, what the hell is that?
Jamie: Oh God, she's in. And now she'll think I'm a total spaz if I don't go in too.
[takes off his sweater]
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] ****. It's cold.
[Jamie falls in]
Jamie: ****. It's freezing! ****!
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] This stuff better be good.
Jamie: It's not worth it you know, this isn't bloody Shakespeare.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] I don't want to drown saving some shit my grandmother could have written.
Jamie: Just stop, stop.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] What kind of idiot doesn't make copies?
Jamie: I really must do copies.
[pause]
Jamie: You know, there'd better not be eels in here. I can't stand eels.
Aurelia: [in Portuguese] Try not to disturb the eels.
Jamie: [screams in shock because of the eels] Oh God, what the hell is that?
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Radio DJ: [on the phone] Hi, Billy!
Billy Mack: Hello.
Radio DJ: We're live across the country, and you're number one!
[Billy laughs]
Radio DJ: How will you be celebrating?
Billy Mack: I don't know. Uh, either I could behave like a real rock-and-roll loser, and get drunk with my fat manager, or when I hang up I'll be bombarded with invitations to a large number of glamorous parties.
Radio DJ: Let's hope it's the second, Billy. And here it is again, Number One by Billy Mack, it's "Christmas Is All Around."
Billy Mack: Oh, Jesus, not that crap again! [laughs]
Billy Mack: Hello.
Radio DJ: We're live across the country, and you're number one!
[Billy laughs]
Radio DJ: How will you be celebrating?
Billy Mack: I don't know. Uh, either I could behave like a real rock-and-roll loser, and get drunk with my fat manager, or when I hang up I'll be bombarded with invitations to a large number of glamorous parties.
Radio DJ: Let's hope it's the second, Billy. And here it is again, Number One by Billy Mack, it's "Christmas Is All Around."
Billy Mack: Oh, Jesus, not that crap again! [laughs]
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Billy Mack: I realized that Christmas is the time to be with the people you love.
Joe: Right.
Billy Mack: And I realized that as dire chance and fateful ****up would have it, here I am, mid 50s, and without knowing it I've gone and spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee. And much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact... you.
[pause]
Joe: Well, this is a surprise.
Billy Mack: Yeah...
Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're as gay as a maypole.
Joe: Right.
Billy Mack: And I realized that as dire chance and fateful ****up would have it, here I am, mid 50s, and without knowing it I've gone and spent most of my adult life with a chubby employee. And much as it grieves me to say it, it might be that the people I love is, in fact... you.
[pause]
Joe: Well, this is a surprise.
Billy Mack: Yeah...
Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're as gay as a maypole.
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[The Prime Minister is knocking on doors to find Natalie]
Harris Street old lady: Aren't you the Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: Yes, in fact, I am. Merry Christmas. Part of the service, now. Trying to get round to everyone by New Year's Eve.
Harris Street old lady: Aren't you the Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: Yes, in fact, I am. Merry Christmas. Part of the service, now. Trying to get round to everyone by New Year's Eve.
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Prime Minister: Hello, does Natalie live here?
Harris Street little girl: No she doesn't.
Prime Minister: Oh dear. OK.
Harris Street little girl: Are you singing carols?
Prime Minister: Er, no. No, I'm not.
Harris Street little girls: Please, sir, please. Please.
Prime Minister: Well, I suppose I could.
Harris Street little girl: Please.
Prime Minister: All right.
[pause]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: [singing] Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen / When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even / Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel / When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel.
[Little girl and her friends dance and cheer]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: Thank you. Merry Christmas.
[Girl shuts door]
Harris Street little girl: No she doesn't.
Prime Minister: Oh dear. OK.
Harris Street little girl: Are you singing carols?
Prime Minister: Er, no. No, I'm not.
Harris Street little girls: Please, sir, please. Please.
Prime Minister: Well, I suppose I could.
Harris Street little girl: Please.
Prime Minister: All right.
[pause]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: [singing] Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen / When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even / Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel / When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel.
[Little girl and her friends dance and cheer]
Prime Minister, PM's chauffeur, Terry: Thank you. Merry Christmas.
[Girl shuts door]
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Prime Minister: Ah, hello. Is, er, Natalie in?
Natalie: [coming down stairs] Where the **** is my ****ing coat?
[sees Prime Minister]
Natalie: Oh, hello.
Prime Minister: Hello.
Natalie: [coming down stairs] Where the **** is my ****ing coat?
[sees Prime Minister]
Natalie: Oh, hello.
Prime Minister: Hello.
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Prime Minister: [having just been exposed kissing Natalie on a school stage during a student concert in front of hundreds of children and parents] Right. So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.
Natalie: Right. What should we do?
Prime Minister: Smile. Give a little bow. Wave.
Natalie: Right. What should we do?
Prime Minister: Smile. Give a little bow. Wave.
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Daniel: And I'm afraid there's something really wrong, you know. I mean, clearly it's about his mum, but Christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all I know.
Karen: At the age of eleven?
Daniel: Maybe not his eyeballs, then. Maybe just his veins.
Karen: At the age of eleven?
Daniel: Maybe not his eyeballs, then. Maybe just his veins.
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Karen: Tell me, what would you do in my position?
Harry: What position is that?
Karen: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace and come Christmas gave it to somebody else...
Harry: Oh, Karen...
Karen: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if worst of all it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?
Harry: Oh, God. I am so in the wrong. The classic fool.
Karen: [voice breaking] Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I lead foolish too.
Harry: What position is that?
Karen: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace and come Christmas gave it to somebody else...
Harry: Oh, Karen...
Karen: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if worst of all it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?
Harry: Oh, God. I am so in the wrong. The classic fool.
Karen: [voice breaking] Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I lead foolish too.
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Stacey, American Dreamgirl: [points to beer bottle] How do you say this one?
Colin: [in a thick accent] Uh, Bottle.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [giggling, mimicking accent] BOHT-el!
Jeannie, American Angel: [points to straw] How 'bout this?
Colin: [in a thick accent] Straw.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess': [mimicking accent] Strohw!
Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [points to table] And this?
Colin: Table.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [starting to repeat] Tab - Oh, the same. It's the same.
[Colin nods apologetically]
Colin: [in a thick accent] Uh, Bottle.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [giggling, mimicking accent] BOHT-el!
Jeannie, American Angel: [points to straw] How 'bout this?
Colin: [in a thick accent] Straw.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess': [mimicking accent] Strohw!
Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [points to table] And this?
Colin: Table.
Stacey, American Dreamgirl, Jeannie, American Angel, Carol-Anne, American Goddess: [starting to repeat] Tab - Oh, the same. It's the same.
[Colin nods apologetically]
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[At the altar, just before Peter is married]
Peter: No surprises?
Mark: No surprises.
Peter: Not like the stag night?
Mark: Unlike the stag night.
Peter: Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake?
Mark: I do.
Peter: And it would have been much better if they'd not turned out to be men?
Mark: That is true.
Peter: No surprises?
Mark: No surprises.
Peter: Not like the stag night?
Mark: Unlike the stag night.
Peter: Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake?
Mark: I do.
Peter: And it would have been much better if they'd not turned out to be men?
Mark: That is true.
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John: So, what do you reckon to our new Prime Minister, then?
Judy: I like him. Can't understand why he's not married, though.
John: Oh, you know the type. Married to his job. Either that or gay as a picnic basket.
Judy: I like him. Can't understand why he's not married, though.
John: Oh, you know the type. Married to his job. Either that or gay as a picnic basket.
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Sam: By the way, I feel bad. I never asked you how your love life is going.
Daniel: [mock chuckles] No. As you know, that was a done deal long ago. Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, you wee motherless mongrel.
Sam: Oh?
Daniel: No, no, we'll want to have sex in every room. Including yours.
Daniel: [mock chuckles] No. As you know, that was a done deal long ago. Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, you wee motherless mongrel.
Sam: Oh?
Daniel: No, no, we'll want to have sex in every room. Including yours.
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Colin: [after insulting the food] And what do you do Nancy?
Nancy the caterer: I'm a cook.
Colin: Ever do weddings?
Nancy the caterer: Yes I do.
Colin: They should have asked you to do this one.
Nancy the caterer: They did.
Colin: God, I wish you hadn't turned it down.
Nancy the caterer: I didn't.
Nancy the caterer: I'm a cook.
Colin: Ever do weddings?
Nancy the caterer: Yes I do.
Colin: They should have asked you to do this one.
Nancy the caterer: They did.
Colin: God, I wish you hadn't turned it down.
Nancy the caterer: I didn't.
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Jamie: [In Portuguese] Good evening.
Mr. Barros: Yes?
Jamie: I am here to ask your daughter for her hands in marriage.
Mr. Barros: You want to marry my daughter?
Jamie: Yes.
Mr. Barros: [to someone in the back of the house] Come here, there is a man at the door. He wants to marry you.
Sophia Barros: [a large and confused women emerges] But I've never seen him before.
Mr. Barros: Who cares?
Sophia Barros: You're going to sell me to a complete stranger?
Mr. Barros: Sell? Who said 'sell'? I'll pay him.
Jamie: Pardon me. I'm meaning your other daughter - Aurelia.
Mr. Barros: Yes?
Jamie: I am here to ask your daughter for her hands in marriage.
Mr. Barros: You want to marry my daughter?
Jamie: Yes.
Mr. Barros: [to someone in the back of the house] Come here, there is a man at the door. He wants to marry you.
Sophia Barros: [a large and confused women emerges] But I've never seen him before.
Mr. Barros: Who cares?
Sophia Barros: You're going to sell me to a complete stranger?
Mr. Barros: Sell? Who said 'sell'? I'll pay him.
Jamie: Pardon me. I'm meaning your other daughter - Aurelia.
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Jamie: [in Portuguese] Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person - because I hardly knows you - but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England.
Sophia Barros: Definitely go for England, girl. You'll meet Prince William - then you can marry him instead.
Sophia Barros: Definitely go for England, girl. You'll meet Prince William - then you can marry him instead.
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[Natalie runs up to the Prime Minister at the airport and leaps into his arms]
Prime Minister: God, you weigh a lot!
Natalie: Oh, shut your face!
Prime Minister: God, you weigh a lot!
Natalie: Oh, shut your face!
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[Aurelia meets Juliet, Mark, and Peter in the airport]
Aurelia: Jaime's friends are so good looking! He never tells me this. I think now, maybe I make the wrong choice, pick wrong Englishman?
Jamie: She can't speak English properly, she doesn't know what she's saying.
Aurelia: Jaime's friends are so good looking! He never tells me this. I think now, maybe I make the wrong choice, pick wrong Englishman?
Jamie: She can't speak English properly, she doesn't know what she's saying.