Serial Mom quotes

View Quote Chip: You know Mom, Scotty thinks you're the killer.
Beverly: [laughs] Does he? You know, for someone who doesn't wear his seatbelt Scotty sure is nosy.

View Quote Dottie Hinkle: Nice as pie she was to me, then I hear her say it.
Detective: Say what?
Dottie Hinkle: Are those... I can't say the words out loud.
Detective: Could you tell a police woman the exact words she used?
Dottie Hinkle: Maybe.
Police woman: It's okay, nobody's gonna hurt you. Come on, let it out.
Dottie Hinkle: PUSSY! That's what she said to me! PUSSY WILLOW!

View Quote Eugene: Listen to this, [reading from the newspaper] "Hillside Strangler gets his college degree in prison".
Beverly: That's nice, dear.
Eugene: Nice? He should have been executed!
Misty: He killed people, mom!
Beverly: We all have our bad days.

View Quote Misty: Mother! It's Carl! He's dead!
Beverly: How horrible. Oh, I just sold the Peewee Herman doll!

View Quote [Beverly calls Dottie Hinkle]
Dottie Hinkle: Hello?
Beverly Sutphin: Is this the **** residence?
Dottie Hinkle: God damn you! Stop calling here!
Beverly Sutphin: Isn't this 4215 Pussy Way?
Dottie Hinkle: You bitch!
Beverly Sutphin: Now let me check the zip code. Two-one-two-****-you?
Dottie Hinkle: The police are tracing this call this very minute.
Beverly Sutphin: Well, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren't they here, huh, ****face?
Dottie Hinkle: **** YOU! [hangs up]
Beverly Sutphin: [laughs manically]
[Beverly immediately calls Dottie back]
Dottie Hinkle: Didn't I just say **** you!?
Beverly Sutphin: [in a different voice] I beg your pardon!
Dottie Hinkle: Who is this?
Beverly Sutphin: Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. We understand you're having some trouble with an obscene phone caller?
Dottie Hinkle: Oh, Mrs. Wilson, I'm so sorry. These calls are driving me crazy! I'm a divorced woman, please help me.
Beverly Sutphin: Well what exactly does this sick individual say to you?
Dottie Hinkle: I can't say the words out loud, I don't use bad language.
Beverly Sutphin: Oh yes, I know it's difficult, but we need to know the exact words.
Dottie Hinkle: I'll try. ****, that's what she calls me.
Beverly Sutphin: [reverting to the original voice] Listen to your filthy mouth, you ****in' whore!
Dottie Hinkle: Goddamn you!
Beverly Sutphin: Mother ****er!
Dottie Hinkle: **** sucker!

View Quote [after bludgeoning Mrs. Jenson] Rewind!

View Quote [after murdering someone] I don't know what it is about today but I feel great!

View Quote Are those... pussy willows?

View Quote Life doesn't have to be ugly. Look at the birds out there; listen to their call. [makes bird noises] Wee, wee, wee, wee.

View Quote Officer, I'm sorry, but we don't allow gum in this house.

View Quote Suzanne! This is my bad side!