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Seth Rogen: [discussing the apocalypse] This shit's cray cray, guys. I mean, it's like, the real, like Apocalypse, it's like the Revel, Book of Revelations, like that means there's a God. Right? [Jay nods in agreement] I haven't led my life as though there's a God this whole time, who ****ing saw that coming that there's actually a God?
Jay Baruchel: I-I'd say 95% of the planet.
Seth Rogen: Jesus ****ing Christ, man.
Craig Robinson: You might wanna stay away from saying that.
Seth Rogen: "Jesus ****ing Christ"?
Craig Robinson: Yes.
[Jay does the Holy Cross]
Seth Rogen: Why? Why can't I say that?
Craig Robinson: One of the 10 Commandments: "Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain".
Seth Rogen: Jesus isn't the name of the Lord. God is the name of the Lord.
Craig Robinson: Jesus, God. It's all the same.
Jay Baruchel: It's the trinity.
Seth Rogen: Jesus...
Craig Robinson: Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
James Franco: It's like Neapolitan ice cream.
Seth Rogen: I don't even know what the ****ing Commandments are.
James Franco: Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit, because...we're all good people. I can look at each one of you in the eye, I know you're good.
Seth Rogen: I'm good.
James Franco: We're four actors, we bring joy to people's lives!
Jay Baruchel: Yeah, but we don't do it for free, we get paid handsomely, much higher than the average profession.
James Franco: It's not like it was just handed to any of us, we've worked really hard to be here.
Craig Robinson: Yeah, pretend like it's hot when it's cold.
Seth Rogen: Oh.
Craig Robinson: You sitting on the beach, it's freezing, you in your drawers, talking about something, everybody's surfing.
Seth Rogen: [whispering] I think God might've just ****ed up, made a mistake and left us behind by accident! I mean, he's got a lot of shit on his plate!
Craig Robinson: It's not oversight, it's not a mistake. Okay, we gotta face facts, we're here and there's a reason we're all here.
James Franco: Wh-Why you so sure?
Craig Robinson: I've- [sighs] I've done things, man, I... I gouged a man's eyeballs out.
Jay Baruchel: What the?
Seth Rogen: Oh, **** off.
James Franco: Craig.
Craig Robinson: Well I was a kid, man, it was a ****in' bar fight. It was a bad football game, he said I didn't call spinneys and I ****in' called spinneys, he got all in my face and I smashed a bottle across his face...
Jay Baruchel: [exhales deeply]
Craig Robinson: And the first eyeball was an accident, but then I was, like, **** it. And I went for the second one.
Seth Rogen: [exhales deeply]
Craig Robinson: It was ****ed up, but you know what? That shit happens, I'm saying that's... I think that's why I'm here.
James Franco: I gotta admit something. I, uh.... I ****ed Lindsay Lohan. She was ****ed up, she was high. It was at the Chateau Marmont, she kept banging on my door.
Jay Baruchel: [grunts]
James Franco: She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal.
Seth Rogen: That's ****ed up.
James Franco: Yeah, I said, uh, "Call me the Prince of Persia".
Craig Robinson: See, that's what I'm saying, man. We've all done bad shit, you know? We've done more bad shit than good in our lives and... [sighs] It's time to pay the piper.
[the power suddenly goes out]
Seth Rogen: Whoa.
James Franco: Oh, shit! Something's wrong! [whispers] God did this. [lights lighter] He gave us light, and then he took it away.
Jonah Hill: [growling]
Jay Baruchel: You hear that?! It's the soundtrack of us going insane.
Craig Robinson: [worried about Jonah, whispering] Damn, I wish there was something we could do to help him.
Jay Baruchel: I know what we can do. [blows out lighter]


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