Spencer Trilby quotes

View Quote Sweet Jesus, Harry, you surely screwed the pooch last night, didn't you?

View Quote So far, this is not blowing my skirt up, gentlemen.

View Quote [about Harry's daughter]
Albert Gibson: Do you think she's still a virgin.
Harry Tasker: Don't be ridiculous, she's only - what is she now?
Albert Gibson: She's fourteen!
Harry Tasker: She's fourteen years old!
Albert Gibson: Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.

View Quote Harry Tasker: Helen is having an affair.
Albert Gibson: Welcome to the club!

View Quote Samir: Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start?
Harry Tasker: Yeah: I'm going to kill you pretty soon.

View Quote Faisil: They call him the Sand Spider.
Spencer Trilby: Why?
Faisil: Probably because it sounds scary.

View Quote Harry Tasker: Ask me a question I would normally lie to.
Helen Tasker: Are we going to die?
Harry Tasker: Yep!

View Quote Helen Tasker: Have you ever killed anyone?
Harry Tasker: Yeah, but they were all bad.

View Quote Simon: Looks like she could suck start a leaf blower, Titties that make you want to sit up and ask for buttermilk, ass like a 10 year old boy.

View Quote Harry Tasker: You tell on me, I'll tell on you.
Albert Gibson: What are you talking about? I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets. I'm clean as...
Harry Tasker: What about the time you blew a six-week operation because you were too busy getting a blow job?
Albert Gibson: You knew about that?
Harry Tasker: Uh-huh.

View Quote [Talking about Helen Tasker, in a car with Simon.]
Helicopter Pilot: Oh yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo.
Albert Gibson: [to Harry Tasker] Maybe she's sleepy.

View Quote [Simon is attempting to have sex with Helen.]
Helen Tasker: No, I can't. I can't!
[Simon is still persuing.]
Simon: If not for me, Helen, do it for your country!

View Quote Harry Tasker: The code name of your assignment will be Boris. And your code name will be...
Helen Tasker: [hopeful] Natasha?
Harry Tasker: No... Doris.

View Quote Albert Gibson: Care to tango?
Faisil: Yes, I would.
Harry Tasker: Assholes.

View Quote Faisil: [hacking the computer] Yes! Files are unlocked! Fast Faisil strikes again. I'm doing, man! I've got my hand up her skirt and I am goin...
Albert Gibson: Just copy the goddamn files, OK?

View Quote Harry Tasker: But what about their husbands?
Simon: Dickless! I mean let's face it, if they were taking care of business, I'd be out of business.

View Quote [Harry returns to the van after escaping the castle.]
Harry Tasker: Hi guys.
Albert Gibson: Well that worked real good. Right out of the old front gate.
Harry Tasker: Can you lean back for a second...
[Harry shoots two remaining pursuers.]

View Quote Harry Tasker: Can you hurry up. My horse is getting tired.
Albert Gibson: Your horse?

View Quote [Salim Abu Aziz reveals a nuclear weapon.]
Salim Abu Aziz: Do you know what this is?
Harry Tasker: I know what this is...
[Salim smiles]
Harry Tasker: This is an espresso machine.
[Salim frowns]
Harry Tasker: No, no wait. It's a snow cone maker.
[Salim approaches Harry]
Harry Tasker: Is it a water heater?

View Quote Harry Tasker: [To Salim, currently attached to a rocket] You're fired.

View Quote Albert Gibson: [over radio] All right twinkle toes, what's you exit strategy?
Harry Tasker: I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate.
Albert Gibson: [over radio] Ballsy. Stupid but ballsy.

View Quote [Harry is commandeering a Harrier to rescue his daughter.]
Albert Gibson: Harry, do you realize it has been, if fact, ten years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?
Harry Tasker: If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.

View Quote Harry Tasker: First I'm gonna use you as a human shield, then I'm gonna kill this guard over there, with the Patterson trocar on the table. Then I was thinking about breaking you neck.
Samir: And how are you going to do all that?
Harry Tasker: You know my handcuffs?
Samir: Hmm...
Harry Tasker: [holds up his hands] I picked them.

View Quote Albert Gibson: Dickhead.
Harry Tasker: Blow me.

View Quote Party Guard: Can I see your invitation?
Harry Tasker: Sure, here's my invitation. [blows shed sky-high]

View Quote [Harry is reading the tapped phone conversations from Helen, and notices something, pulling over.]
Harry Tasker: Give me the page!
Albert Gibson: What?
Harry Tasker: This jumps from page 9 to page 11.
Albert Gibson: [looks at paper] Must be a typo.
Harry Tasker: [shouts] Give me the goddamn page.
[Harry smashes the passenger side of the window with his bare fist. Gibson looks at the window, and quickly grabs page 10 from his coat.]
Albert Gibson: OK.

View Quote Spencer Trilby: You're on Harry's team, right.
Faisil: Yes.
Spencer Trilby: So what makes you think that the slack I cut him in anyway translates to you?

View Quote Harry Tasker: The bridge is out!
Helen Tasker: What?
Harry Tasker: The bridge it out!
Helen Tasker: I can't hear you!
[Harry then points at the broken bridge.]
Helen Tasker: [panicing] Oh God! The bridge is out Harry! The bridge is out!