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Van Helsing

Van Helsing quotes

53 total quotes

Anna Valerious
Bloopers
Carl
Dracula
Multiple Characters
Van Helsing




View Quote Dr. Frankenstein: Good God. I would kill myself before helping in such a task.
Dracula : Feel free. I don't actually need you anymore, Victor. I just need him... he is the key.
View Quote Dracula: Igor, why must you torture that thing so?
Igor: It's what I do.
View Quote Frankenstein's Monster: [hanging from a rope] Help! Help me!
Carl: But you're supposed to die!
Frankenstein's Monster: I want to live!
Carl:... All right.
View Quote Mr. Hyde: You're a big one. You'll be hard to digest.
Van Helsing: I'd hate to be such a nuisance. I missed you in London.
Mr Hyde: No you bloody did not! [shows a hole in his arm] You got me good.
Van Helsing: Dr Jekyll...
Mr Hyde: It's Mr Hyde now!
Van Helsing: ... you are wanted by the Knights of the Holy Order for the murder of six men, seven women...
Mr Hyde: ... four children, three goats, and a rather nasty massacre of poultry. So, you're the great Van Helsing.
Van Helsing: And you're a deranged psychopath.
Mr Hyde: We all have our little problems. [eats his cigar]
Van Helsing: My superiers would much like for me to take you alive so that they may extracate your better half.
Mr Hyde: I bet they bloody would.
Van Helsing: Personally I'd rather just kill you and call it a day. But let's make it your decision.
Mr Hyde: Mmm, do let's! [knocks Van Helsing across the room]
View Quote Van Helsing: Bless me, father, for I have...
Cardinal Jinette: ...sinned, yes, I know. You are very good at that. You shattered the Rose Window.
Van Helsing: Well, not to split hairs, but it was Mr Hyde who did the smashing.
Cardinal Jinette: 11th century. Over eight hundred years old. I wish you a week in hell for that.
View Quote Van Helsing: He's a werewolf. He's going to kill people!
Anna Valerious: It's not his fault! He can't help it!
Van Helsing: I know, but he's going to do it anyway!
View Quote Van Helsing: The Cardinal has ordered you to keep me alive. [He hands a Carl a bag of weapons.] For as long as possible.
Carl: But I'm not a field man! [Whining] Van Helsing, I don't want to go to Transylvania!
Carl: Do you remember anything?
Van Helsing: I remember fighting the Romans at Masada.
Carl: That was in 73 AD!
Van Helsing: You asked.
View Quote Van Helsing: There's something down here. And it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. I'd say he's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall. He has a bad gimp in his right leg, and, ah— 3 copper teeth.
Anna Valerious: How do you know he has copper teeth?
Van Helsing: Because he's standing right behind you— move!
View Quote Van Helsing:[To Anna] Alright [starts choking] Flies! There's flies!!
Dracula: I give you...VAN HALEN!!!
Van Helsing: [aiming the arrow gun, the director shouts "NOW!"] Shit! [ducks] You frightened the hell out of me! [laughs]
Frankenstein's Monster: [in the ice cube] I'm a cold heartless bitch.
Mr. Hyde's stand-in: [lifts the bell]
Van Helsing: [jumps on his back] HEY DADDY!!! I'M HOME!!!
Van Helsing: There are those who go through the front door....and there are those who speak their lines a little bit better.
Hugh Jackman: I would NEVER trip. [several clips of him tripping/falling down]
View Quote Van Helsing: That's why you're coming with me.
Carl: The hell be damned that I am.
Van Helsing: You cursed. Not very well, mind you, but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.
Carl: Actually, I'm still just a friar. I can curse all I want, dammit!
View Quote Velkan: I would rather die than help you!
Dracula: Oh, don't be boring, everyone who says that dies.
View Quote Village Woman: [Carl has just saved her from one of Dracula's children] How can I ever repay you.
Carl: [whispers something in her ear]
Village Woman: But you can't do that. You are a monk.
Carl: Well technically I'm just a friar.
View Quote [About Frankenstein's monster] My life, my job, is to vanquish evil. I can... I can sense evil. This thing— man— whatever it is— evil may have created it, may have left its mark on it— but evil does not rule it. So I cannot kill it.
View Quote [after cutting off Mr Hyde's arm] I'll bet that's upsetting
View Quote [Clapping his hand like a heartbeat] I can tell the character of a man by the sound of his heartbeat. Usually when I approach... I can almost dance to the beat… Strange that yours is so steady.