The Wedding Crashers Rules quotes ... Movie Quotes Database

View Quote Rule #1 - Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own

View Quote Rule #2 - Never use your real name.

View Quote Rule #3 - Never confess.

View Quote Rule #4 - No one goes home alone.

View Quote Rule #5 - Never let a girl get between you and a fellow Crasher.

View Quote Rule #6 - Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.

View Quote Rule #7 - Blend in by standing out.

View Quote Rule #8 - Be the life of the party.

View Quote Rule #9 - Whatever it takes to get in, get in.

View Quote Rule #10 - Invitations are for pussies.

View Quote Rule #11 - Sensitive is good.

View Quote Rule #12 - When it stops being fun, break something.

View Quote Rule #13 - Bridesmaids are desperate - console them.

View Quote Rule #14 - You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.

View Quote Rule #15 - Fight the urge to tell the truth.

View Quote Rule #16 - Always have an up-to-date family tree.

View Quote Rule #17 - Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.

View Quote Rule #18 - You love animals and children.

View Quote Rule #19 - Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.

View Quote Rule #20 - Always have an early "appointment" the next morning.

View Quote Rule #21 - Definitely make sure she's 18.

View Quote Rule #22 - You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.

View Quote Rule #23 - There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around.

View Quote Rule #24 - If you get outted, leave calmly. Do not run.

View Quote Rule #25 - You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.

View Quote Rule #26 - Of course you love her.

View Quote Rule #27 - Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.

View Quote Rule #28 - Make sure there's an open bar.

View Quote Rule #29 - Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.

View Quote Rule #30 - Know the playbook so you can call an audible.

View Quote Rule #31 - If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow Crashers know.

View Quote Rule #32 - Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.

View Quote Rule #33 - Never go back to your place.

View Quote Rule #34 - Be gone by sunrise.

View Quote Rule #35 - Breakfast is for closers.

View Quote Rule #36 - Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".

View Quote Rule #37 - At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.

View Quote Rule #38 - Never hit on the bride! It's a one-way ticket to the pavement.

View Quote Rule #39 - The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.

View Quote Rule #40 - Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."

View Quote Rule #41 - If there is a cash bar, bring your fake war medals. You'll never have to buy a drink.

View Quote Rule #42 - Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.

View Quote Rule #43 - At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing.

View Quote Rule #44 - Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it.

View Quote Rule #45 - Always remember your fake name!

View Quote Rule #46 - The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."

View Quote Rule #47 - You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.

View Quote Rule #48 - Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancee.

View Quote Rule #49 - Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"

View Quote Rule #50 - Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.

View Quote Rule #51 - Always pull out in time.

View Quote Rule #52 - Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.

View Quote Rule #53 - Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive." Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.

View Quote Rule #54 - Avoid virgins. They're too clingy.

View Quote Rule #55 - If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle Ned. Everyone has an Uncle Ned.

View Quote Rule #56 - Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up.

View Quote Rule #57 - When seeing a rival Crasher, do not interact - merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.

View Quote Rule #58 - The Ferrari's in the shop.

View Quote Rule #59 - If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield.

View Quote Rule #60 - No "chicken dancing" - no exceptions.

View Quote Rule #61 - When crashing out of state, request permission from the local Wedding Crasher chapter.

View Quote Rule #62 - No more than two weddings a weekend. More and your game gets sloppy.

View Quote Rule #63 - Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Courtesy opens more legs than charm.

View Quote Rule #64 - Always save room for cake.

View Quote Rule #65 - When your crash partner fails, you fail. No man is an island.

View Quote Rule #66 - Smile! You're having the time of your life.

View Quote Rule #67 - Mix it up a little. You can't always be the man with the haunted past.

View Quote Rule #68 - Dance with the Bride's grandmother.

View Quote Rule #69 - No sex on the altar. Confessionals, okay. Chair lofts, better.

View Quote Rule #70 - Two shutouts in a row? It's time to take a week off. Ask yourself: what is it that is getting in the way of my happiness?

View Quote Rule #71 - Research, research, research the wedding party. And when you are done researching, research some more.

View Quote Rule #72 - Studies have shown that women have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints - small cost, big yield.

View Quote Rule #73 - Keep interactions with the parents of the bride to a minimum.

View Quote Rule #74 - In case of emergency, refer to the rulebook.

View Quote Rule #75 - Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up.

View Quote Rule #76 - No excuses. Play like a champion.

View Quote Rule #77 - Carry extra protection.

View Quote Rule #78 - The unmarried female rabbi - is she fair game? Of course she is.

View Quote Rule #79 - The tables furthest from the kitchen always get served first.

View Quote Rule #80 - Stop, look, listen. At weddings. In life.

View Quote Rule #81 - Occasionally bring a gift - you're getting sex without having to buy dinner, so you can afford a blender.

View Quote Rule #82 - Always think ahead but always stay in the moment. Reconcile this paradox and you'll not only get the girl, you might also get peace of mind.

View Quote Rule #83 - Don't let the ring bearer bum your smokes. His parents may start to ask questions.

View Quote Rule #84 - Stay clear of the wedding planner. They may recognize you and start to wonder.

View Quote Rule #85 - Don't use the "I have two months to live" bit - not cool, not effective.

View Quote Rule #86 - Shoes say a lot about the man.

View Quote Rule #87 - Always choose large weddings. More choice. Easier to blend.

View Quote Rule #88 - You're from out of town. ALWAYS.

View Quote Rule #89 - Know something about the place you say you are from. Texas is played out. For some reason, New Hampshire seems to work.

View Quote Rule #90 - Of course you dream of one day having children.

View Quote Rule #91 - Never dance to "What I Like About You." It's long past time to let that song go. Someone will request it at every wedding. Don't dance to it. No matter how...

View Quote Rule #92 - Tell the bride's friends and family that you are family of the groom and visa-versa.

View Quote Rule #93 - Only take one car. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape.

View Quote Rule #94 - Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.

View Quote Rule #95 - Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you Jeremy.

View Quote Rule #96 - Etiquette isn't old-fashioned. It's sexy.

View Quote Rule #97 - Catholic weddings - the classic dilemma: painfully long ceremony - horny girls.

View Quote Rule #98 - The newspaper Wedding Announcements are your racing form. Choose carefully.

View Quote Rule #99 - Be judicious with cologne. Citrus tones are best.

View Quote Rule #100 - Save the tuxes for "the big show" only.

View Quote Rule #101 - Avoid women who were psychology majors in college.

View Quote Rule #102 - No periwinkle colored ties, please.

View Quote Rule #103 - The older the better, the younger the better (see Rule #21)

View Quote Rule #104 - Be well groomed and well-mannered.

View Quote Rule #105 - Never ****block a fellow Crasher. ****blocking an invited guest - okay.

View Quote Rule #106 - Eat plentiful, digest your food. You'll need the energy later.

View Quote Rule #107 - Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating.

View Quote Rule #108 - Know your swing and salsa dancing. Girls love to get twisted around.

View Quote Rule #109 - Always carry an assortment of place cards to match any wedding design.

View Quote Rule #110 - Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too.

View Quote Rule #111 - Never, ever reveal your true identity.

View Quote Rule #112 - Always Rawdog.

View Quote Rule #115 - Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket