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Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Who Framed Roger Rabbit quotes

93 total quotes

Eddie Valiant
Jessica Rabbit
Judge Doom
Multiple Characters
Roger Rabbit

Bongo: [catches Eddie peeping through the dressing room keyhole, watching Jesica and Mr. Acme playing patty-cake] What do you think you're doin', chump?
Eddie: Who are you calling a chump, chimp?
[Eddie gets thrown out]
Bongo: And don't lemme catch your peepin' face around here again! Got it?!
[slams the door]
Eddie: [lifts his arms to scratch his armpits] OOGA BOOGA!

Bongo: Got the Password?
Eddie Valiant: Walt sent me.
[the door opens]
Eddie Valiant: Nice monkey suit.
Bongo: Wise ass!

Daffy Duck: I've worked with a lot of withe-quackers-s, but you are des-s-picable!
Donald Duck: Doggone stupid little... that did it! Wha-a-a-a-gh!
Daffy Duck: This-s is-s the las-s-t time I work with s-someone with a s-speech impediment!
Donald Duck: Oh, yeah?!
[Donald Duck shuts Daffy in a piano]
Daffy Duck: This-s means-s war...

Dolores: Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday?
Eddie Valiant: Fish special?
Dolores: You know my boss check the books on Friday. If I don't have that money I gave you back in the till, I'm going to lose my job.
Eddie Valiant: Don't bust a button, Dolores. You only have one left.

Eddie Valiant: A ladies' man, eh?
Baby Herman: The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky. Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer, I should know, he's a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The papers said Acme left no will. That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the reason he got bumped off.
Eddie Valiant: Has anyone ever seen this will?
Baby Herman: Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath.
Eddie Valiant: If you think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal.
Baby Herman: I just figured since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might wanna help get him out. I can pay ya.
Eddie Valiant: Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!
[Pushes the stroller, knocks a woman over, Baby Herman's cigar falls to the floor]
Baby Herman: My stogie! Whaaaa-a-a-a-a-a! Whaaaa-a-a!

Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh--
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know. But the liquor store guy; he knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole damn town knows you're here! Get out!

Eddie Valiant: Do you mean to tell me you could have taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?!
Roger Rabbit: Not at any time. Only when it was funny.

Eddie Valiant: Forget it. I don't work Toontown.
R.K. Maroon: What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown.
Eddie Valiant: Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going.

Eddie Valiant: Happy Trails.
Roger Rabbit: No thanks Eddie, I'm trying to cut down.
Eddie Valiant: Drink the drink!
Roger Rabbit: But I don't want the drink!
Judge Doom: He doesn't want the drink!
Eddie Valiant: He does!
Roger Rabbit: I don't!
Eddie Valiant: You do!
Roger Rabbit: I don't!
Eddie Valiant: You do!
Roger Rabbit: I don't!
Eddie Valiant: You do!
Roger Rabbit: I don't!
Eddie Valiant: You don't!
Roger Rabbit: I do!
Eddie Valiant: You don't!
Roger Rabbit: I do!
Eddie Valiant: You don't!
Roger Rabbit: Listen, when I say "I do", that means I do!

Eddie Valiant: Holy smoke, he's a Toon!
Judge Doom: Surprised?
Eddie Valiant: Not really. That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon.
Judge Doom: Not just any Toon...
(Judge Doom reinflates himself. His hat is blown away and his fake eyes fall to the floor, revealing his true, red eyes)
Judge Doom: Remember me, Eddie? (high, squeaky voice) When I killed your brother, I talked JUST... LIKE... THIS!!!!!

Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.

Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the one I caught playing patty-cake with old man Acme?
Jessica Rabbit: You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures.
Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about?
Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, but he said that if I didn't pose for those patty-cake pictures, Roger would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything for my husband, Mr. Valiant. Anything.
[Presses her chest against Eddie's with a "thump"]
Eddie Valiant: What a wife.

Eddie Valiant: What's that?
Lt. Santino: Remember how they always thought there wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls it "The Dip."
Judge Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll try him, convict him, and execute him.
[dunks shoe in Dip, dissolving it completely]
Eddie Valiant: Geez!
Greasy: [laughs] That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?
Judge Doom: They're not kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. This is how we handle things down in Toontown.

Eddie Valiant: What's with him?
Betty Boop: Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs.
Eddie Valiant: Got a thing for rabbits, huh?

Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Sit down!
Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Then when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.