Multiple Characters quotes
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Daniel: You're about as perceptive as Helen Keller.
Imaginary Gwen to Gwen: You know you're screwed. Mm-hmm.
Roshanda: I don't think you have niceness, you see, I don't feel niceness coming from you.
Daniel: Oh, that would be a great idea. You could spread your negativity even further. You know, if you really tried, you could ruin the experience for the entire patient population!
Dr Griffin: What do you want to bet, that child turns out to have a gambling problem?
Oliver: And I'm a patron of the arts and diseases and cures and stuff. That's what I'm spending my money on. So I like to have a little bit of fun.
Imaginary Gwen to Gwen: You know you're screwed. Mm-hmm.
Roshanda: I don't think you have niceness, you see, I don't feel niceness coming from you.
Daniel: Oh, that would be a great idea. You could spread your negativity even further. You know, if you really tried, you could ruin the experience for the entire patient population!
Dr Griffin: What do you want to bet, that child turns out to have a gambling problem?
Oliver: And I'm a patron of the arts and diseases and cures and stuff. That's what I'm spending my money on. So I like to have a little bit of fun.
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Gwen: Oh my God, what did we do last night?
Jasper: Oh, the usual. Collected money for the poor little homeless children at the church bazaar. I think the vicar must have spiked the kool-aid.
Jasper: Oh, the usual. Collected money for the poor little homeless children at the church bazaar. I think the vicar must have spiked the kool-aid.
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Gwen: That judge totally screwed me!
Jasper: Hey, good morning!
Gwen: This place is horrible. I should have picked that rehab center in the city. People chant.
Jasper: They do what?
Gwen: They chant here. They chant. If they think I'm chanting they've got a whole nother thing coming.
Jasper: Oh, come on, it could be worse. It could be prison.
Gwen: Oh, that's worse?
Jasper: Well, you know, you never hear of anyone being raped with a plunger in rehab.
Gwen: Well, no, you don't hear about it because they cover it up.
Jasper: Hey, good morning!
Gwen: This place is horrible. I should have picked that rehab center in the city. People chant.
Jasper: They do what?
Gwen: They chant here. They chant. If they think I'm chanting they've got a whole nother thing coming.
Jasper: Oh, come on, it could be worse. It could be prison.
Gwen: Oh, that's worse?
Jasper: Well, you know, you never hear of anyone being raped with a plunger in rehab.
Gwen: Well, no, you don't hear about it because they cover it up.
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Betty: All of these things will be returned to you when you check out. Except for the "Vickodin," which will be flushed. Smile!
Gwen: It's Vicoden.
Gwen: It's Vicoden.
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Oliver: I'm thinking booze.
Gerhardt: Cocaine
Roshanda: Painkillers.
Bobbie Jean: This is not a nice game.
Oliver: Well?
Gwen: Well what?
Andrea: What's your drug of choice? Alcohol, Cocaine, Percodan, Heroin, Glue?
Gwen: I have to pick just one?
Gerhardt: Cocaine
Roshanda: Painkillers.
Bobbie Jean: This is not a nice game.
Oliver: Well?
Gwen: Well what?
Andrea: What's your drug of choice? Alcohol, Cocaine, Percodan, Heroin, Glue?
Gwen: I have to pick just one?
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Oliver: I like your coat.
Gwen: Thank you.
Oliver: Is that leather?
Gwen: Yes.
Oliver: Not vinyl?
Gwen: Nope.
Oliver: You believe in killing animals?
Gwen: Yes.
Oliver: For clothing?
Gwen: Absolutely.
Oliver: So do I.
Gwen: Thank you.
Oliver: Is that leather?
Gwen: Yes.
Oliver: Not vinyl?
Gwen: Nope.
Oliver: You believe in killing animals?
Gwen: Yes.
Oliver: For clothing?
Gwen: Absolutely.
Oliver: So do I.
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[Flashback]
Gwen's Mom: You girls are a lot of fun. And that's the most important thing. Cause if you're not having fun, Peanuts...
Young Gwen and Lily together: What's the friggin' point!
Gwen's Mom: You girls are a lot of fun. And that's the most important thing. Cause if you're not having fun, Peanuts...
Young Gwen and Lily together: What's the friggin' point!
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Cornell: You know, if your counselor catches you using, you could get kicked out.
Gwen: Yeah, well, I don't plan on discussing it with him.
Cornell: Too late.
Gwen: Yeah, well, I don't plan on discussing it with him.
Cornell: Too late.
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Gwen: Are you always this charming?
Cornell: Do you always use humor to deflect things when you're uncomfortable?
Gwen: Do you always use insight to disarm your new recruits?
Cornell: Do you always use humor to deflect things when you're uncomfortable?
Gwen: Do you always use insight to disarm your new recruits?
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[Gwen accidentally pushes the elevator button and it opens to reveal Oliver and an almost naked girl.]
Gwen: Oookay.
Oliver: Going down?
Gwen: Uh-uh.
Gwen: Oookay.
Oliver: Going down?
Gwen: Uh-uh.
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[Jasper visits Gwen in rehab and brings her Vicodin.]
Jasper: I'm gonna get you out of here.
Gwen: I'm not supposed to leave.
Jasper: You're not supposed to have mommy's little helper in your pocket either.
Jasper: I'm gonna get you out of here.
Gwen: I'm not supposed to leave.
Jasper: You're not supposed to have mommy's little helper in your pocket either.
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Eddie: [Carrying Gwen in from outside] Eddie Boone, checking in.
Night Tech: You can't bring a girl into treatment with you, Eddie.
Eddie: I wasn't gonna keep her.
Night Tech: You can't bring a girl into treatment with you, Eddie.
Eddie: I wasn't gonna keep her.
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Gwen: You don't honestly think I'm going to jail, do you?
Cornell: No? For driving drunk, crashing into a house, knocking over a lawn jockey that could have been a four-year-old child?
Gwen: Yeah, but it wasn't, it was a four-year-old lawn jockey.
Cornell: No? For driving drunk, crashing into a house, knocking over a lawn jockey that could have been a four-year-old child?
Gwen: Yeah, but it wasn't, it was a four-year-old lawn jockey.
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Eddie: Nothing personal. I just made myself a little promise: no more endin' up naked with some girl I don't even know what her name is.
Gwen: That's a noble goal and I wish you the very best of luck with it.
Gwen: That's a noble goal and I wish you the very best of luck with it.
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Aunt Helen: You mother has passed on.
Young Gwen: That's okay. Just slap her real hard, and she'll wake up.
Young Gwen: That's okay. Just slap her real hard, and she'll wake up.
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[After Andrea has cut herself]
Andrea: Just so you know, I wasn't trying to off myself or anything.
Gwen: Okay.
Andrea: It's just something I do sometimes.
Gwen: Doesn't it hurt?
Andrea: Feels better.
Gwen: Than what?
Andrea: Everything else.
Andrea: Just so you know, I wasn't trying to off myself or anything.
Gwen: Okay.
Andrea: It's just something I do sometimes.
Gwen: Doesn't it hurt?
Andrea: Feels better.
Gwen: Than what?
Andrea: Everything else.
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Gwen: Believe it or not, I can make this decision on my own, okay? I don't need your help.
Gerhardt: That's not what your neck sign says.
Gwen: Oh, forget what my neck sign says!
Gerhardt: That's not what your neck sign says.
Gwen: Oh, forget what my neck sign says!
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Gwen: From my sister. She's coming to family sessions.
Eddie: That's good.
Gwen: No. I would pay very good money not to hear what she has to say.
Eddie: That's good.
Gwen: No. I would pay very good money not to hear what she has to say.
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Gwen: It's a tautology... it is what it is, be cause it is what it is... Like, why is the sky blue, because it reflects off the ocean, well why is the ocean blue, because it reflects off the sky.
Eddie: Who are you talking to?
Gwen: I don't know
Eddie: Who are you talking to?
Gwen: I don't know
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Eddie: He'll get over it. Falcon will be back, better than ever.
Andrea: No, no, Falcon's leaving the show.
Gwen: He's having brain clusters!
Andrea: No, no, Falcon's leaving the show.
Gwen: He's having brain clusters!
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Evelyn: We've gotten off track here. Lily. Lily! Think about Gwen's behavior at your wedding, and tell her now, how you feel.
Gwen: Yeah. Lily, how does it make you feel?
Lily: This is just-- This is-- I don't need this... I have a life.
[Lily storms off. Enter flashback, the girls run into the house.]
Young Gwen: Lily, wait for me!
Young Lily: Beat ya.
Gwen: Yeah. Lily, how does it make you feel?
Lily: This is just-- This is-- I don't need this... I have a life.
[Lily storms off. Enter flashback, the girls run into the house.]
Young Gwen: Lily, wait for me!
Young Lily: Beat ya.
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Bobbie Jean: Oh! I got and eyelash. Make a wish.
Roshanda: [Sigh] Custody of my kids.
Gerhardt: Sobriety
Roshanda: Oh, come on baby, we all want that. Think of something else.
Gerhardt: My foreskin back. No one asked me before they took it. They just took it.
Oliver: Way to share, Gerhardt, way to share.
Roshanda: [Sigh] Custody of my kids.
Gerhardt: Sobriety
Roshanda: Oh, come on baby, we all want that. Think of something else.
Gerhardt: My foreskin back. No one asked me before they took it. They just took it.
Oliver: Way to share, Gerhardt, way to share.
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Daniel as Announcer: And now, Santa Booze
Gwen as Darien: Oh Falcon, I'm so afraid. When they find I've taken you out of the hospital, mother and Dr. Griffin Hartley are sure to come here. What will we do?
[Gerhardt pulls Gwen across his hospital bed]
Gerhardt as Falcon: If I can't be without you-
Gwen: [Whispering] --with you.
Gerhardt as Falcon: It I can't be with you, I would rather be dead.
[They kiss passionately. Gerhardt pushes her away]
Gerhardt as Falcon: Oh, but dear God, the tiny clusters of tumors in my brain!
Gwen as Darien: Oh God, the tiny little clusters of tumors in his brain, somebody help! Oh, God!
Gwen as Darien: Oh Falcon, I'm so afraid. When they find I've taken you out of the hospital, mother and Dr. Griffin Hartley are sure to come here. What will we do?
[Gerhardt pulls Gwen across his hospital bed]
Gerhardt as Falcon: If I can't be without you-
Gwen: [Whispering] --with you.
Gerhardt as Falcon: It I can't be with you, I would rather be dead.
[They kiss passionately. Gerhardt pushes her away]
Gerhardt as Falcon: Oh, but dear God, the tiny clusters of tumors in my brain!
Gwen as Darien: Oh God, the tiny little clusters of tumors in his brain, somebody help! Oh, God!
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Bobbie Jean as Deirdre: Falcon, Darien, your lover, is also your sister!
Gerhardt as Falcon: No!
Gwen: [Whispering] It is not possible.
Gerhardt as Falcon: It is not possible!
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: Deirdre, darling, I have some bad news. Your daughter, Darien, Falcon's lover and sister is also carrying my baby.
Bobbie Jean as Deirdre: No!
Gerhardt as Falcon: No!
Gerhardt as Falcon: No!
Gwen: [Whispering] It is not possible.
Gerhardt as Falcon: It is not possible!
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: Deirdre, darling, I have some bad news. Your daughter, Darien, Falcon's lover and sister is also carrying my baby.
Bobbie Jean as Deirdre: No!
Gerhardt as Falcon: No!
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Gerhardt as Falcon: Oh, but, no! My tumors!
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: It's the, uh, melio-- meli--
Daniel: Melagioma Nestocytroma
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: Well, whatever. Look, there's nothing I can do. [Gerhardt grabs his collar] What-- what are you doing?
Gerhardt as Falcon: It says in the script that we're supposed to kiss.
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: Uh, Andrea, I like ya. Bon voyage. I'm not kissing Gerhardt.
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: It's the, uh, melio-- meli--
Daniel: Melagioma Nestocytroma
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: Well, whatever. Look, there's nothing I can do. [Gerhardt grabs his collar] What-- what are you doing?
Gerhardt as Falcon: It says in the script that we're supposed to kiss.
Oliver as Dr. Griffin: Uh, Andrea, I like ya. Bon voyage. I'm not kissing Gerhardt.
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Eddie: Well, I'll leave you guys to it then.
Jasper: Well I don't know about that. I mean, let's think this through. I mean, the way I see it, Gwennie, we've got two options here. Scenario number one, we let Eddie from Oklahoma head back to the showers and wash off all that very manly sweat, and you and I can bullshit our way through the afternoon. Or, scenario number two, we can all acknowledge the awkward situation in which we find ourselves!"
Gwen: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jasper: Well that's a clear vote for scenario number one. How about you, Eddie from Oklahoma? Care to weigh in? Abstaining? Interesting. Well, I guess that leaves only me in favor of calling a spade a spade and saying, "Pardon me, sir, but I'd prefer it if you wouldn't sleep with my fianc?."
Gwen: Jasper!
Eddie: You got the wrong idea, here, pal.
Jasper: Don't call me pal. I mean, I'm not your pal. And don't treat me like an idiot, do me that one courtesy, please, cause I'm not that either. In fact, I've got more brain cells than your entire redneck family, all put together!
Gwen: Jasper don't be a jerk.
Jasper: Gwen, don't be a slut.
Jasper: Well I don't know about that. I mean, let's think this through. I mean, the way I see it, Gwennie, we've got two options here. Scenario number one, we let Eddie from Oklahoma head back to the showers and wash off all that very manly sweat, and you and I can bullshit our way through the afternoon. Or, scenario number two, we can all acknowledge the awkward situation in which we find ourselves!"
Gwen: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jasper: Well that's a clear vote for scenario number one. How about you, Eddie from Oklahoma? Care to weigh in? Abstaining? Interesting. Well, I guess that leaves only me in favor of calling a spade a spade and saying, "Pardon me, sir, but I'd prefer it if you wouldn't sleep with my fianc?."
Gwen: Jasper!
Eddie: You got the wrong idea, here, pal.
Jasper: Don't call me pal. I mean, I'm not your pal. And don't treat me like an idiot, do me that one courtesy, please, cause I'm not that either. In fact, I've got more brain cells than your entire redneck family, all put together!
Gwen: Jasper don't be a jerk.
Jasper: Gwen, don't be a slut.
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Shop Owner: Sir, I can't replace the plant just because you killed it.
Gerhardt: I did not kill this plant, it was sick or something. I gave it everything. I was talking to it, telling it stories. I drew a sketch of it, and put it on my refrigerator.
Shop Owner: Did you water it?
Gerhardt: I-- I have-- It's important that I did not kill this plant, you understand? So if you're just saying that because that's how you're making your excuse, you have got to understand-- You can't mess with-- I'm never gonna get laid. [Sobs] You obviously don't care. And that's one thing I do, is care. I feel sorry for all the plants in here. I'm going home.
Gerhardt: I did not kill this plant, it was sick or something. I gave it everything. I was talking to it, telling it stories. I drew a sketch of it, and put it on my refrigerator.
Shop Owner: Did you water it?
Gerhardt: I-- I have-- It's important that I did not kill this plant, you understand? So if you're just saying that because that's how you're making your excuse, you have got to understand-- You can't mess with-- I'm never gonna get laid. [Sobs] You obviously don't care. And that's one thing I do, is care. I feel sorry for all the plants in here. I'm going home.