50 First Dates quotes

31 total quotes

Henry Roth
Lucy Whitmore
Multiple Characters

View Quote Alexa: [After an aborted one-night stand with a woman] I guess I prefer sausage to taco.

View Quote Doug: Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip.
Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right.
Doug: I love Thpam and Reethe's, can I have it?
Henry: Um, I guess.
Marlin: Doug!

View Quote Dr. Keats: Doug, once again, off the juice.
Doug: It'th not juithe. It'th a protein thake.

View Quote Dr. Keats: Tom was in a hunting accident and he lost part of his brain. His memory lasts only ten seconds.
Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.
Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you'll totally get over it in about three seconds.

View Quote Dr. Keats: Was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?
Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!
Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaction. That's the 'roids talking. Douglas, once again, off the juice.
Doug: It'th not juice! It'th a protein shake!

View Quote Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] I don't want it to end like this.
Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like this!
[Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down]
Henry: Calm down, little fella!
Doug: Okay I'm calm!
[pause]
Doug: I coulda whooped his butt, Daddy but this gravel - I swipped on it and fwell.
Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.
Doug: Cheap shot, Dad.

View Quote Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa.
Linda: Linda.
Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.

View Quote Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho?

Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio

Kids Ohhh.
Henry (to Ula): You're the state idiot of Hawaii

View Quote Kid: What's wrong with that turtle?
Henry: He has lung problems because he smoked too much turtle weed, which is bad for you. Right, Ula?
Ula: What? I don't smoke weed!

View Quote Lucy: [to Henry] I hardly know you.
Marlin: Actually sweetie, you're kind of dating him.
[Lucy looks at Henry]
Henry: Yeah. Sorry I'm not better looking.

View Quote Lucy: Wonder what's the matter with him.
Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me.

View Quote Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups!
Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch!

View Quote Nick: What did Sue say?
Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.

View Quote Old Hawaiian Man: That was pathetic.
Henry: Yeah? Why don't you choke on your spam!

View Quote Security Guard 1: Hey Lucy, good to see you again!
[Lucy walks by quietly]
Security Guard 1: What the heck's her problem?
Security Guard 2: She doesn't remember who you are, bro.
Security Guard 1: Oh yeah. I suck at this job!