Murray Burns quotes

View Quote Irving R. Feldman's birthday is my own personal national holiday. I did not open it up for the public. He is proprietor of perhaps the most distinguished kosher delicatessen in our neighborhood, and, as such, I hold the day of his birth in reverence.

View Quote You might call Nick a bastard... or a little bastard, depending on how whimsical you feel at the time.

View Quote If things aren't funny then they're exactly what they are; and then they're like a long dental appointment.

View Quote Aw, Sandy, that's the most you should expect from life, a really good apology for all the things you won't get.