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How many prostitutes will you need to talk to before this issue is solved? Dad: This is an odd moment for me because I had the same moment with my father when I'd just turned 21, and after it, my life was never the same so I approach it pretty, um, nervously.
Tim: Okay. When you're ready. It's all very mysterious.
Dad: Uh... Right. Tim, my dear son, the uh... The simple fact is the men in this family have always had the ability to... This is going to sound strange, be prepared for strangeness. Get ready for spooky time, but there's this family secret. And the secret is that the men in this family can travel in time. [Tim stares at him] Well, more accurately travel back in time. We can't travel into the future.
Tim: This is such a weird joke.
Dad: It's seriously not a joke.
Tim: So you're saying that you and granddad, and his brothers could all travel back in time?
Dad: Absolutely.
Tim: And you still do?
Dad: Absolutely. Although it's not as dramatic as it sounds. It's only in my own life. I can only go to places where I actually was and can remember. I can't kill Hitler or shag Helen of Troy, unfortunately.
Tim: Okay, stop. Um... [sighs] If it's true, which it isn't —
Dad: Although it is.
Tim: Although it isn't, obviously. But if it was, which it's not —
Dad: Which it is.
Tim: Which it isn't.


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