Other quotes

View Quote Grandma: Dinner's gonna be late. [She goes outside.] Here, boy! Here, boy!

View Quote Fester: Three parts dynamite, with a nitroglycerin cap. It's perfect for small homes, carports and toolsheds.

View Quote [Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair.]
Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: Because we're going to play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"

View Quote Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?

View Quote Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

View Quote [Watching Pugsley sleep.]
Morticia: He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.

View Quote Morticia: Children, what are you doing?
Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him.
Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction.
Wednesday: But, Mother...
Morticia: I said no.
Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?
Morticia: Oh, all right.

View Quote Wednesday: Please pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: NOW.

View Quote Gomez: How long has it been since we waltzed?
Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.

View Quote Dr. Pinderschloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill.
Grandma: Even with a chainsaw!

View Quote Dr. Pinderschloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?
Gomez: But, I didn't hate my mother. It was an accident!

View Quote [Morticia and Grandma examine a rare and valuable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity.]
Grandma: Let's keep it!
Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.

View Quote Morticia: Margaret, about the s?ance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez. I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood.
Margaret: He coughs up blood?
Morticia: Well, not like he used to.

View Quote Margaret: [Regarding Cousin It] Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume.
Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.

View Quote Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you say your son was kidnapped by voodoo witch doctors? Let's take a call.
Gomez: Hello, Sally?
Sally Jessy Raphael: Mr. Addams, please, stop calling! We do not know where they meet!

View Quote Morticia: Gomez, let's go for a drive. The whole family.
Gomez: A drive? And miss "Gilligan"?

View Quote Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before?
Wednesday: He's only a child.
Uncle Fester: That's no excuse. Aim for a major artery. The jugular.

View Quote [Gomez and Fester are watching home movies.]
Gomez: You remember that fateful night?
Uncle Fester: Um... Your first cigar!
Gomez: What? Come on, old man, I've smoked since I was 5. Mother insisted.

View Quote Margaret: This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you?
Tully Alford: Because I said yes.

View Quote [A golf ball crashes through Judge Womack's window.]
Judge: Damn you, Addams!
Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full.
Judge: You moron!

View Quote Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Mr. Addams, I beleef I am understandink. I can help. Jais? Ze theory of displacement -- is zis familiar?
Gomez: No. Tish?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Oh! It is too exciting. I vill explain.
Gomez: Is it unpleasant?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Deeply. Your very own bruzzer -- you drive him avay. Go! Off viz you! But zen -- you are feelink ze little black monster.
Gomez: Pugsley?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Guilt! Jais! Your bruzzer returns, you feel guilty -- you displace.