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Kevin: Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
Finch: Not us, our generation, we were more mature.
Stifler: Check it out. Vagina shark.
[He goes under water, girls scream]
Finch: I take that back.
Finch: How is your mother, Stifler?
Stifler: You stay away from my mom, Shitbrick!
Michelle: Hey, remember that one time at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each other's hairy wet pussies...
Selena: [interrupts Michelle] Yes, yes. I remember.
Jim Levenstein: Stifler's having a party tonight. Okay, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. You made me your bitch.
Michelle: Yes. Yes I did.
Jim's Dad: It is so great to see all you kids back in town. And what a terrific soiree are you throwing here tonight. Just wonderful.
Stifler: You know what? I'm gonna get you ****ed up.
Jim's Dad: Is it an erectile problem? Because sometimes, you can buy a little time... with a well-placed thumb.
MILF Guy #1: Milf?
MILF Guy #2: Milf...?
MILF Guy #1: Milf!
MILF Guy #2: Milf!
MILF Guy #1, MILF Guy #2: Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf!
Kara: Jim? I can't believe it's you. You don't remember me, do you? Remember Teletubbies Tuesdays?
Jim Levenstein: Kara? No, oh my god, what? You're not a kid anymore.
Kara: It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter.
Jim Levenstein: I can't believe how much you've grown up.
Kara: Thanks. It's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow.
Jim Levenstein: 18, wow.
Kara: You should come to my party.
Jim Levenstein: Oh, thank you, no, I... that might be...
Kara: Please I want you to **** so bad.
Kevin: You destroyed their Jet Skis.
Stifler: They splashed us, so...
Stifler: **** yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
Jim's Dad: [drunk] The name's Noah, mother****er!
AJ: Did you just refer to yourself as the Stifmeister? Coz that's, like, the lamest name ever.
Stifler: I'm gonna ****ing kill you.
[from trailer]
Stifler: Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually, you were. Not you.
Mia: What's with you jacking my style, bitch?
Kara's Mom: Remember this song?
[puts My First Kiss on and starts dancing to it]
Sherman: [talking about his divorce] At least I got to keep little Furlong.
Stifler: You named your kid after Eddie Furlong?
Sherman: Yes I did. You know why? Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made.
Stifler: Dude, you need to get banged bad.
MILF Guy #2: [after seeing Oz rip his undershirt] Dude, you have an amazing body!
Stifler: [whispering as he drops his shorts and sits on some high school students' cooler] I'm shitting in their cooler.
Jim Levenstein: [gagging] I'm going to throw up.

Kevin : Were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day? Finch : Not us, our generation, we were more mature. Stifler : Check it out. Vagina shark. [He goes under water, girls scream] Finch : I take that back. Finch : How is your mother, Stifler? Stifler : You stay away from my mom, Shitbrick! Michelle : Hey, remember that one time at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each other's hairy wet pussies... Selena : [interrupts Michelle] Yes, yes. I remember. Jim Levenstein : Stifler's having a party tonight. Okay, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. You made me your bitch. Michelle : Yes. Yes I did. Jim's Dad : It is so great to see all you kids back in town. And what a terrific soiree are you throwing here tonight. Just wonderful. Stifler : You know what? I'm gonna get you ****ed up. Jim's Dad : Is it an erectile problem? Because sometimes, you can buy a little time... with a well-placed thumb. MILF Guy #1 : Milf? MILF Guy #2 : Milf...? MILF Guy #1 : Milf! MILF Guy #2 : Milf! MILF Guy #1 , MILF Guy #2 : Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf! Milf! Kara : Jim? I can't believe it's you. You don't remember me, do you? Remember Teletubbies Tuesdays? Jim Levenstein : Kara? No, oh my god, what? You're not a kid anymore. Kara : It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter. Jim Levenstein : I can't believe how much you've grown up. Kara : Thanks. It's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow. Jim Levenstein : 18, wow. Kara : You should come to my party. Jim Levenstein : Oh, thank you, no, I... that might be... Kara : Please I want you to **** so bad. Kevin : You destroyed their Jet Skis. Stifler : They splashed us, so... Stifler : **** yeah, Mr. Levenstein! Jim's Dad : [drunk] The name's Noah, mother****er! AJ : Did you just refer to yourself as the Stifmeister? Coz that's, like, the lamest name ever. Stifler : I'm gonna ****ing kill you. [from trailer] Stifler : Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually, you were. Not you. Mia : What's with you jacking my style, bitch? Kara's Mom : Remember this song? [puts My First Kiss on and starts dancing to it] Sherman : [talking about his divorce] At least I got to keep little Furlong. Stifler : You named your kid after Eddie Furlong? Sherman : Yes I did. You know why? Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made. Stifler : Dude, you need to get banged bad. MILF Guy #2 : [after seeing Oz rip his undershirt] Dude, you have an amazing body! Stifler : [whispering as he drops his shorts and sits on some high school students' cooler] I'm shitting in their cooler. Jim Levenstein : [gagging] I'm going to throw up.