Fat Bastard quotes

View Quote It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh-heh-heh. Let's have a smell all right? Hmmm, wafting, wafting.. Ooh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Alright, analysis. Smells like carrots in throw-up! Ooh, that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick ass on a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!

View Quote [Hanging from a wire] Isn't this magical, one of my wires broke.

View Quote But I had to shed some extra skin.

View Quote [Commenting on his loose skin after going on the "Subway diet"] And my neck does kinda look like a vagina.

View Quote Aw, Jesus Christ! This diapers making my nuts rub together! It's gonna start a fire!

View Quote [Holding sumo opponent's crotch] You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is? Twister! [Twists hand]

View Quote Are we done here? I've got to take a crap.

View Quote [Looking down at the toilet] What the--? I did not have any corn!

View Quote I hope my wire team is ready-y-y!