Bedknobs and Broomsticks quotes

View Quote ...
Stallkeeper: The snippers that clipped old King Edward's cigars.
Mr. Browne: Made in Hong Kong—two bob a dozen, I'd say.

View Quote Bookman: Close your mouth, Swinburne!
Mrs. Hobday: Another package from Professor Emelius Browne in London. He sent you a cat last time, did he not?
Charlie: Knock his block off!

View Quote Carrie: Who else lives here?
Miss Price: I live alone—it suits my purposes.

View Quote Charlie: Why d'you keep the curtains closed?
Mr. Browne: So we can enjoy our cheese and wine in the gentle glow of candlelight.
Charlie: I bet it's so the coppers won't catch you hiding out here.

View Quote Miss Price: [reading from the book she has found at last] Ah! "Substitutiary locomotion. The ancient art of..." [She reads for a few moments in a whisper.] Ah! Here we are: "The spell which creates this force is five mystic words. These words are—" [She pauses incredulously, and turns over the tattered leaves of the book.] ...But the rest of the book is missing!
Mr. Browne: Now you see why I closed down the college.

View Quote Miss Price: Supper is at six. You will wash, thoroughly—
Charlie: Wash?!
Miss Price: You will wash yourselves, otherwise there will be no supper.
[Miss Price leaves the room.]
Charlie: A house of horrors, that's what this is.
[Charlie notices an odd bottle on a shelf in Miss Price's office.]
Charlie: Poisoned dragon's liver?!
Miss Price: Poisoned dragon's liver.

View Quote Mr. Browne: I found the door open, the curtains closed—the house was deserted.
Miss Price: Why on earth would someone do a thing like that?
Mr. Browne: I would say this may have something to do with it... [gestures towards an unexploded bomb]
Miss Price: Merciful heavens! I should be terrified at the very idea of living here.
Mr. Browne: You would have thought so, wouldn't you? I am, by nature, a little bit of a coward—but then I pondered, as I often do: in the perverse nature of things, this diabolical object is probably the best friend I ever had. It has enabled me for the first time in my life to live like a king. Shall we go in?

View Quote Mr. Browne: I will cause the bed and all its occupants to disappear.
Bookman: Disappear? I'd like to see a cheap jack entertainer do a trick like that.
Mr. Browne: Cheap jack entertainer. Now that was naughty.

View Quote Paul: Is this London?
Carrie: 'Course it is. Can't you smell that lovely sooty air?

View Quote Paul: That's not a rabbit—that's Mr. Browne, that is!
Miss Price: If you are Mr. Browne, would you kindly get down off my lap?

View Quote Paul: What is this—a toyshop?
Carrie: No, it's a nursery. Ain't you ever seen a nursery before?
Charlie: [to Carrie] No, and neither have you.

View Quote [A British army officer's car stops at a junction on a country road where an elderly man is painting over signposts.]
Captain Greer: You there! Which way to Pepperinge Eye?
Elderly Man: Couldn't say, sir—said on the wireless to paint out the signposts in case the Nazis drop in.
Captain Greer: I'm not a Nazi, I'm a British officer!
Elderly Man: ...that's what you say if you was a Nazi, isn't it sir?

View Quote [Carrie tries on some elaborate jewellery at a market stall and admires herself in a mirror.]
Stallkeeper: Who do you think you are, the Queen of Sheba?

View Quote [Miss Price and the children are being held captive in her house by German soldiers.]
Miss Price: Colonel, how would you feel about being turned into a nice white rabbit?
Colonel: Be quiet, please.
Miss Price: Paul, kindly fetch me my notebook from my office.
[The officers restrain Paul in much commotion. Miss Price stands up, points at the Colonel, but cannot remember the correct words to the incantation.]
Miss Price: Filigree, apogee, epigee...!

View Quote [Miss Price has just arrived on an old motorbike, emitting blasts of yellow smoke. After she has gone, the two army officers begin to speak.]
Captain Greer: Who is that?
General Teagler: Miss Price—splendid woman. Her late father served with me at Vimy Ridge.
Captain Greer: What's she burning in this thing?—It smells a bit like sulphur.
General Teagler: Nonsense! One can't make a motor fuel out of sulphur!