Céline: If we were meeting for the first time today on a train, would you find me attractive?
Jesse: Of course.
Céline: No, but really, right now as I am? Would you start talking to me? Would you ask me to get off the train with you?
[Both laugh]
Jesse: Well, I mean, you're asking a theoretical question. I mean, what would my life situation be? I mean technically, wouldn't I be cheating on you?
Céline: Okay. Why can't you just say "yes"?
Jesse: No, I did. I said, "of course"! That was -
Céline: No-no-no! I wanted you to say something romantic and you blew it.
Jesse: Oh, okay. Alright, wait - if I saw you on a train, okay, listen. I would lock eyes with you.
Céline: Uh-huh.
Jesse: And then I'd walk right up to you and I'd say, "Hey, baby. You are making me as horny as a billy goat in a briar patch."
[He grabs her butt.]
Céline: Stop it, that's disgusting! Billy goat. No, the truth is, you failed the test. And the fact is, you would not pick me up on a train. You wouldn't even notice me, a fat-assed middle-aged mom, losing her hair.
Jesse: Okay. [Laughing] Losing her hair?
Céline: Yeah, that's me!
Jesse: You set me up to fail. Honestly, you did.
Céline: Okay, true. True.
Jesse: Alright? Alright? But in the real world, baldy, on game day when it mattered, I did talk to you on a train. I did that, it was the best thing I ever did.
Jesse: Of course.
Céline: No, but really, right now as I am? Would you start talking to me? Would you ask me to get off the train with you?
[Both laugh]
Jesse: Well, I mean, you're asking a theoretical question. I mean, what would my life situation be? I mean technically, wouldn't I be cheating on you?
Céline: Okay. Why can't you just say "yes"?
Jesse: No, I did. I said, "of course"! That was -
Céline: No-no-no! I wanted you to say something romantic and you blew it.
Jesse: Oh, okay. Alright, wait - if I saw you on a train, okay, listen. I would lock eyes with you.
Céline: Uh-huh.
Jesse: And then I'd walk right up to you and I'd say, "Hey, baby. You are making me as horny as a billy goat in a briar patch."
[He grabs her butt.]
Céline: Stop it, that's disgusting! Billy goat. No, the truth is, you failed the test. And the fact is, you would not pick me up on a train. You wouldn't even notice me, a fat-assed middle-aged mom, losing her hair.
Jesse: Okay. [Laughing] Losing her hair?
Céline: Yeah, that's me!
Jesse: You set me up to fail. Honestly, you did.
Céline: Okay, true. True.
Jesse: Alright? Alright? But in the real world, baldy, on game day when it mattered, I did talk to you on a train. I did that, it was the best thing I ever did.
Céline : If we were meeting for the first time today on a train, would you find me attractive?
Jesse : Of course.
Céline : No, but really, right now as I am? Would you start talking to me? Would you ask me to get off the train with you?
[Both laugh]
Jesse : Well, I mean, you're asking a theoretical question. I mean, what would my life situation be? I mean technically, wouldn't I be cheating on you?
Céline : Okay. Why can't you just say "yes"?
Jesse : No, I did. I said, "of course"! That was -
Céline : No-no-no! I wanted you to say something romantic and you blew it.
Jesse : Oh, okay. Alright, wait - if I saw you on a train, okay, listen. I would lock eyes with you.
Céline : Uh-huh.
Jesse : And then I'd walk right up to you and I'd say, "Hey, baby. You are making me as horny as a billy goat in a briar patch."
[He grabs her butt.]
Céline : Stop it, that's disgusting! Billy goat. No, the truth is, you failed the test. And the fact is, you would not pick me up on a train. You wouldn't even notice me, a fat-assed middle-aged mom, losing her hair.
Jesse : Okay. [Laughing] Losing her hair?
Céline : Yeah, that's me!
Jesse : You set me up to fail. Honestly, you did.
Céline : Okay, true. True.
Jesse : Alright? Alright? But in the real world, baldy, on game day when it mattered, I did talk to you on a train. I did that, it was the best thing I ever did.
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