The Big Short quotes

View Quote "And Caesar wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer."

View Quote Danny Moses: You're completely sure of the math?
Jared Vennett: Look at him, that's my quant.
Mark Baum: Your what?
Jared Vennett: My quantitative. My math specialist. Look at him, you notice anything different about him? Look at his face.
Mark Baum: That's pretty racist.
Jared Vennett: Look at his eyes, I'll give you a hint, his name is Yang. He won a national math competition in China, he doesn't even speak English! Yeah I'm sure of the math.
Jiang: [To the camera] Actually, my name's "Jiang", and I do speak English. Jared likes to say I don't, because he thinks it makes me seem more "authentic." And... I placed 2nd in that national math competition.

View Quote Charlie Geller: Will you listen to me?! This, like, the end of capitalism! This is like the Dark Ages all over again!

View Quote Cynthia Baum: The therapist called. You did it again!

View Quote Cynthia Baum: You're not a saint. Saints don't live on Park Avenue.

View Quote Jamie Shipley: This level of criminality is unprecedented, even for ****ing Wall Street!

View Quote Margot Robbie: [In a bubble bath with a glass of champagne] Basically, Lewis Ranieri's mortgage bonds were amazingly profitable for the big banks. They made billions and billions on their 2% fee they got for selling each of these bonds. But then, they started running out of mortgages to put in them. After all, there are only so many homes and so many people with good enough jobs to buy them, right? So, the banks started filling these bonds with riskier and riskier mortgages. [Butler pours more champagne into her glass] (Thank you, Benjamin) That way, they can keep that profit machine churning, alright? By the way, these risky mortgages are called "subprime." So, whenever you hear the word "subprime," think "shit." Our friend, Michael Burry, found out that these mortgage bonds that were supposedly 65% AAA, were actually just, mostly, full of shit, so now, he's going to "short" the bonds, which means "to bet against." Got it? Good...[Takes a sip of champagne] Now, **** off.

View Quote Pub patron: [To Ben] Are you a drug dealer or a banker? Because if you're a banker, you can **** right off!

View Quote Bruce Miller: As some of you may know, Bear Stearns has just received a loan from JP Morgan. Of course, we're gonna have to wait and see how the markets react, but that should lay to rest any concerns about the bank's health.
Debate host: Now, I take it you have no plans to sell your $200 million in Bear stock?
Bruce Miller: No, as a matter of fact, when we're done here, I'll probably go out and buy some more. [Crowd lightly chuckles]
Debate host: For the opposing view, Mr. Baum.
Mark Baum: I got to stand for this. [Takes the microphone and stands] Okay, hi. My firm's thesis is pretty simple. Wall Street took a good idea, Lewis Ranieri's mortgage bond, and turned it into an atomic bomb of fraud and stupidity that's on its way to decimating the world economy.
Bruce Miller: How do you really feel? [Crowd laughs]
Mark Baum: I'm glad you still have a sense of humor; I wouldn't if I were you. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have no problem telling someone they're wrong...
Danny Moses: [In the crowd, looking at Bear Stearns' stock price live on his Blackberry, showing Vinny and Porter; they speak in hushed whispers] (Bear Stearns is denying rumors of liquidity problems...Holy ****, it's 39 now!)
Mark Baum: ...is not so enjoyable. We live in an era of fraud in America. Not just in banking, but in government, education, religion, food, even baseball. What bothers me isn't that fraud is not nice or that fraud is mean. It's that, for 15,000 years, fraud and short-sighted thinking have never, ever worked. Not once.
Danny Moses: (Jesus, Bear at 37. Bear's at 37.)
Mark Baum: Eventually, people get caught, things go south.
Vinny Daniel: (Plummeting.)
Danny Moses: (It's ****ing plummeting, man.)
Mark Baum: When the hell did we forget all that? I thought we were better than this, I really did. And the fact that we're not doesn't make me feel alright and superior. It makes me feel...sad.
Danny Moses: (Every time I ****ing hit "refresh", it's dropping, man. Every time.)
Mark Baum: And as much fun as it is to watch pompous, dumb Wall Streeters be wildly wrong, [To Miller] and you are wrong, sir, I just know, that at the end of the day, average people are going to be the ones that are going to have to pay for all this. Because they always, always do.
Porter Collins: (It's 32. 32.)
Danny Moses: (It's ****ing tanked, man.)
Mark Baum: That's my two cents, thank you. [Sits down]
Porter Collins: (Let me drop a deuce on Deutsche).
Debate host: Does our bull have a response?
Bruce Miller: Only that, in the entire history of Wall Street, no investment bank has ever failed unless caught in criminal activities. So, yes, I stand by my Bear Stearns optimism.
Man in crowd: Mr. Miller, I'm sorry, quick question. From the time you guys started talking, Bear Stearns stock has fallen more than 38%. [People in the crowd start murmuring in surprise] Would you still buy more?
Bruce Miller: [Trying to be optimistic] Y-yeah, sure...of course I'd buy more. Why not?
Mark Baum: BOOM.

View Quote Charlie Geller: [As he and Jamie look around in the abandoned trading floor of Lehman Brothers after its collapse] This isn't how I pictured it.
Jamie Shipley: What'd you think we'd find?
Charlie Geller: I don't know...Grownups.

View Quote Jared Vennett: [pulling blocks from a Jenga tower] As, zero. Bs, zero. Double Bs, zero. Triple Bs, zero... [the tower topples] And then that happens.
Mark Baum: What is that?
Jared Vennett: That's America's housing market.
[Baum's team stares in utter shock]
Jared Vennett: Thank you.
Chris: ****in' A, Jared.
Jared Vennett: Shut your ****in' mouth.