Other quotes

View Quote Napoleon: [Napoleon fails to bowl a strike.] Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! (Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!)

View Quote Mr. Ryan: It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."

View Quote Sigmund Freud: I demand einen lawyer.

View Quote Jock giving speech: San Dimas High School football rules!!

View Quote Socrates [speaking Greek] Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

View Quote Abraham Lincoln: Be excellent to each other. ...And... party on, dudes!

View Quote [in classroom]
Mr. Ryan: Who was Joan of Arc?
Bill: Noah's wife?
Mr Ryan: Ted, stand up.
Ted: Stand up?
Mr Ryan: Yes, son, stand up.

View Quote Ted: Your stepmom's cute.
Bill: Shut up Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut UP, Ted!
Ted: Remember when I asked your mom to the prom?
Bill: Shut UP, Ted!

View Quote [an early morning jam]
Bill: I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
Ted: And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan!
Bill, Ted: And we are... WYLD STALLYNS!

View Quote Capt. Logan: Hello.
Bill: [in a Jeff Spicoli like accent] Capt. Logan, this is Deputy Van Halen, down at the station?
Capt. Logan: Deputy Van Halen?
Bill: Uh, I'm new dude-sir! Look, we found your keys. If ya want 'em,better come and get 'em!

View Quote Ted: [to himself] 1275...1275... [to Bill] Okay. The lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport. I knew it!
Ted: [to lady] Excuse me! When did the Mongols rule China?
Lady: I don't know. I just work here.

View Quote Rufus: Greetings, my excellent friends.
Ted: Do you know when the Mongols ruled China?
Rufus: Well, perhaps we could ask them.

View Quote [Bill and Ted meet their future selves]
Ted: OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?
Bill, Ted from future: 69, dudes!
Bill, Ted: Whoa.

View Quote Bill: [Reading from phone book] The only true wisdom consists in knowing, that you know nothing.
Ted: That's us, dude.
Bill: Oh, yeah!

View Quote [Napoleon has finished his ice cream]
Waiter #1: All behold! He ate the Pig, thus proving that he's...
Waiter #2: A...
Waiters: Zyggie Piggy! Zyggie Piggy! Zyggie Piggy!

View Quote Future Ted: Rufus!
Future Bill: Listen to this dude Rufus. He knows what he's talking about.
Future Ted: Right. Oh, and Ted? Give my love to the princesses?
Ted: Who?
Future Ted: You'll see.

View Quote Ted: Where are we, Rufus?
Rufus: Austria, 1805. The French have just invaded.
Ted: Whoa, Bill, check it out! We're in the middle of a war, dude!

View Quote Billy the Kid: [to Abraham Lincoln at the White House] Candygram!
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, what can I... [Genghis Khan yanks him in the booth.]

View Quote Bill: Be excellent to each other.
Ted: Party on, dudes!

View Quote Henry VII: Put them in the iron maiden.
Ted: Iron Maiden?
Bill, Ted: Excellent!
[air guitar]
Henry VII: Execute them.
Bill, Ted: Bogus!

View Quote [Bill And Ted Hug]
Both: ****.

View Quote Ted: Miss Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our friends.
Bill: This is, uh, Dave Beeth Oven.
Beethoven: Sie sind so schön, Madame.
Bill: And, uh, Maxine of Arc, Missy, Herman the Kid...
Ted: Bob "Genghis" Khan, Dennis Frood, So-crates Johnson, and, uh... Abraham Lincoln.
Miss Preston:[completely oblivious] It's so nice to meet you all. There are sodas in the fridge.

View Quote Bill: It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269.
Ted: Please welcome, the very excellent barbarian...
Ted, Bill: ...MR. GENGHIS KHAN!
[All the students applaud wildly for Khan]
Ted: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman's Sporting Goods.

View Quote Napoleon: Excusez-moi, Monsieur!
Bowling Alley Manager: Hold on there! Not so fast, buddy!
Napoleon: "Buddy?"
Bowling Alley Manager: You ain't paid yet.
Napoleon: Pay?
Bowling Alley Manager: Pay.

View Quote [Napoleon is about to enter a waterslide]
Napoleon: Qu'est-que c'est ça?
Waterslide Attendant: Buddy, you're holding up the line!
Napoleon: Sacre bleu.
Waterslide Attendant: Come on, buddy!

View Quote [Napoleon is using Risk figures to show his plans to invade Russia]:
Ted: ...I don't think it's going to work.
Napoleon: No?
[Napoleon slams his ruler on the map furiously]:
Napoleon: Triomphe Napoleon!