Billy Madison quotes
View Quote
I can see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words... I'm deaf! Oh, Veronica Vaughn... Sooo hot... Want to touch the hiney... Ruff!
View Quote
It's nudey magazine day!
View Quote
He called the shit poop!
View Quote
Well, I could think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would involve a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
View Quote
Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his pupppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits? You get your ass out there, and you find that ****ing dog!
View Quote
Well, I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and, to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.
View Quote
That's QUACKTASTIC!
View Quote
Actually, I got this shirt from Frank.
View Quote
Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?
View Quote
JUST DO IT!
View Quote
You know I like Snack pack, why can't you just give me the snack pack?
View Quote
To...to...to...today, Junior!
View Quote
Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.
View Quote
Shampoo is better; I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better; I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! [He notices a gold swan on the edge of the bathtub.] Stop looking at me, swan!
View Quote
[Billy after he hallucinates and sees the penguin at Veronica's house][drunkenly]Oh. I see how it is. So sorry to interrupt!
View Quote
You ain't cool, unless, you pee your pants. All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.
View Quote
( after Ernie hangs up the phone ) YOU BLEW IT!
View Quote
Chlorophyll? More like BOROPHYLL!
View Quote
I choose Business Ethics.
View Quote
[Menacingly] O'Doyle, I think you and your family are headed for a big fall... [Chirpy] but right now, I gotta study.
View Quote
Eric is pregnant!! Congratulations Big Fella!!! He's gonna be a soccer player! Yes he is! Yes he ii-iiiis.
View Quote
Er Dad do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit in the room?