Steve quotes

View Quote [on Drake Sabitch] This guy is like Leatherface, Chucky and Jan Brady all rolled into one.

View Quote Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

View Quote (Trying to pronounce "roads") Row-ads. Roods.

View Quote Steve: This is great I never win at checkers.
Mike: Yes, well, it's kinda easy to win when you NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!

View Quote Steve: check it out. This fridge is only being held by this plug. (Pulls plug out, and the fridge rolls toward Mike, crashing into him and running him into a wall.)
Steve: Are you okay? Mike: I'm just dandy! I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!
Steve: We didn't have any pudding in there buddy.

View Quote Mike: Come on, Roger, let me talk to Al it can only take a minute.
Roger: "Al, doesn't wanna speak to you.
Mike: What do you mean Al doesn't wanna speak to me? Why?

View Quote [the roof has blown off the house and it begins to hail all over Mike who is in the top bunk] Steve: Hey Mike, 'I got dibs on top' Ha ha.
Mike: Shut up!
Steve: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Mike: Why don't you shut up?
Steve: Heh heh, 'Hello Washington'. Ha ha ha.
Mike: SHUT UP!

View Quote Steve: [completely doped on the nitrous oxide] ... But, this map is heavy... It's got all of those... robes on it. Robes? Rogues?
Mike: [also stoned; giggling] Roads!
Steve, Mike: Aahahahaha!
Mike: [suddenly stops laughing] I'm stoned... so are you!
[looks in the backseat] Mike: Dammit! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! OK, calm down... we just gotta keep under the speed limit... limit...
[starts giggling again] Mike: Limit! Haha, that's another one of those freaky words!

View Quote Governor Tracy: I have heard the voice of the voters and the voters said...
[Mike is screaming for help while hoisting by his underwear on a satellite dish] Governor Tracy: ...Holy Shit!

View Quote Mike: [cheering on Rock the Vote Crowd] Yea! Kill whitey!
[crowd goes silent] Rastafarian: No! No! No!

View Quote [a bat flies out at them] Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!

View Quote [Steve comes back sprayed with a fire extinguisher] Mike: Whoa, what happened to you? Did you fall into some mud or something?
Steve: Yeah, I did. And now I'm gonna be famous because I'm the only one in the world who knows where you can find white mud.

View Quote Motorcycle Cop: Could you take him through here a little faster than seven miles per hour, Officer...
Mike: Meoff, Jack. [turns to Steve and mouths "Jack Meoff"]

View Quote Governor Tracy: Now you'll have to tell me your name so I know who to make the check out to.
Clyde: My best friends call me "Cash."

View Quote Mike: What the hell was that?
Steve: A chunk in the road or something.
Mike: I just chunked in my pants.

View Quote Mike: [dressed as security guard] Please move away from this vector and get into another coordinate pronto. There's no access for you in this quadrant.
Teen: Man, why don't you goose-step on down to the women and children over there and give them your little power trip, because they may be impressed by it, asshole!
Mike: Young man, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine! I will dance with you inside the six-sided ring of fire, unless you move from this area, far and fast, NOW!

View Quote Motorcycle Cop: Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Mike: Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops.
State Trooper: Seven. Seven miles an hour. And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the shoulder.

View Quote [Mike is pretending to be a cop, Steve is pretending to be a prisoner] Steve: Ro-ads. Roods.
Mike: Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day!
[turns to state trooper] Mike: Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!

View Quote Drake: I'm not far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust.
Steve: You should work up to that, kinda leaves you nowhere to go.