Bridget Jones's Diary quotes

View Quote Don't be silly, Bridget. You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz. ~Mother

View Quote I can't believe you said what you said you said. ~Jude

View Quote It all began on New Years day, in my 32nd year of being single. Once again I found myself on my own and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet. Every year she tries to fix me up with some bushy-haired, middle-aged bore and I feared this year would be no exception.

View Quote Major dilemma. If actually do, by some terrible chance, end up in flagrante surely these would be most attractive at crucial moment. (holds up thong) However, chances of reaching crucial moment greatly increased by wearing these scary stomach-holding-in pants very popular with grannies the world over.

View Quote Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and dresses like her mother. ~Mark

View Quote My mum, a strange creature from the time when a gherkin was still the height of sophistication.

View Quote Now, these are very silly little boots, Jones. And this is a very silly little dress. And, um, these are- **** me, absolutely enormous panties. ~Daniel

View Quote Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Equally important, will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional ****wits or perverts. And especially will not fantasise about a particular person who embodies all these things... Unfortunately he just happens to be my boss, editor in chief Daniel Cleaver, and for various slightly unfair reasons relating to this year's Christmas party I suspect he does not fantasize about me.

View Quote Shazzer, journalist. Likes to say "****" a lot.

View Quote Tom, 80's pop icon who only wrote one hit record then retired because he found that one record was quite enough to get him laid for the whole of the 90's. Total poof, of course.