The Brothers Solomon quotes

5 total quotes

View Quote [discussing adoption options with agency representative and father]
John Solomon: Do you have any pictures of the kids? Something that we can... [points to picture of adoption agency representatives son] Oh, Dean. How about that little guy?
Dean Solomon: No friggin way! Under no cir****stances. Hes got like Bells Palsy or something. [agency representative appears visibly upset]

View Quote [discussing plans for conception with their willing surrogate, Janine]
John Solomon: I literally cannot wait to feel myself inside you!
Janine: Whoa! The only thing you're going to feel yourself inside of is a cold Dixie cup!
Dean Solomon: Well, that certainly doesn't make your vagina sound very appealing."

View Quote [hollering up a stairwell]
Dean Solomon: THERE YOU GO AGAIN, MAKING ME A BETTER PERSON!

View Quote [talking about the unfortunate luck a the end of one of Dean's dates]
John Solomon: So she got hit by a bus, huh? Poor girl.
Dean Solomon: Yeah, the bus took a pretty serious hit too. I mean she was a large girl. Comfortably in the 200s.

View Quote [when trying to figure out a plan to conceive a child]
John Solomon: I think we maybe need to broaden our search to include less conventional methods of having a baby.
Dean Solomon: Like anal?