Cat in the Hat, The (2003) quotes
10 total quotesThe Cat in the Hat
The Fish
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Cat: [closes the crate after Conrad opened it] Listen, Condax, you probably don't wanna do that.
Conrad: Why not? It's just a crate.
Cat: This isn't just any old crate. It's the Transdimensional Transporterlator. It's kinda like a doorway which leads from this world to my world.
Conrad: But it says there "Made in the Philippines".
Cat: Yes, but not this Philippines.
Conrad: Why not? It's just a crate.
Cat: This isn't just any old crate. It's the Transdimensional Transporterlator. It's kinda like a doorway which leads from this world to my world.
Conrad: But it says there "Made in the Philippines".
Cat: Yes, but not this Philippines.
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Cat: [looking at a photo] Humina, humina, humina! Who is this?
Conrad: That's my mom.
[pause]
Cat: Awkward.
Conrad: That's my mom.
[pause]
Cat: Awkward.
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Fish: Someone else should drive!
Cat: All right. You win. Concrete, you drive. [gives Conrad the wheel]
Conrad: Are you serious?
Cat: I don't know. A little voice inside of me is saying, "This is a bad idea", but I can barely hear that little voice, because an even louder little voice is screaming, "Let the 12-year-old drive!" Now punch it.
Conrad: This is awesome!
Sally: I want to drive.
Cat: I think that's a great idea. [gives Sally another wheel]
Conrad: Wait, two people can't drive at the same time.
Cat: You're right. We should all drive. [gets his own wheel]
Cat: All right. You win. Concrete, you drive. [gives Conrad the wheel]
Conrad: Are you serious?
Cat: I don't know. A little voice inside of me is saying, "This is a bad idea", but I can barely hear that little voice, because an even louder little voice is screaming, "Let the 12-year-old drive!" Now punch it.
Conrad: This is awesome!
Sally: I want to drive.
Cat: I think that's a great idea. [gives Sally another wheel]
Conrad: Wait, two people can't drive at the same time.
Cat: You're right. We should all drive. [gets his own wheel]
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Fish: Stop this right now!
Conrad: Who said that?
Fish: Me! Remember, the fish? Came home in a baggy, loved me for two weeks, and then nothing.
Sally: The fish is talking.
Cat: Well, sure, he can talk. But is he saying anything? No, not really.
Conrad: Who said that?
Fish: Me! Remember, the fish? Came home in a baggy, loved me for two weeks, and then nothing.
Sally: The fish is talking.
Cat: Well, sure, he can talk. But is he saying anything? No, not really.
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Sally: Like being in the Circus!
Cat: Yeah, but without those tortured animals or drunken clowns that have hepatitis.
Cat: Yeah, but without those tortured animals or drunken clowns that have hepatitis.
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Sally: Who are you?!
Cat: Who, me? Why, I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're... "meline"... "key lime"... "turpentine". I got nothing! I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people!
Sally: Where did you come from?
Cat: Hmm, How do I put this... When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that...
Conrad: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Where did you come from?
Cat: My place, what do you think?
Cat: Who, me? Why, I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're... "meline"... "key lime"... "turpentine". I got nothing! I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people!
Sally: Where did you come from?
Cat: Hmm, How do I put this... When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that...
Conrad: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Where did you come from?
Cat: My place, what do you think?
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Thing 2: Don't belittle me.
Cat: Ah, yes of course. Thing 2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number 2 does not imply in any way that he's inferior to Thing 1.
Thing 2: And all of the above.
Cat: He says you may feel free to call him Thing A if you like. He will also accept Super Thing, Thing King, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate Thun-da or Ben.
Thing 2: [chuckles] "Ben".
[Thing 1 jabbers incoherently]
Cat: Thing 1 says he's Thing 1 for a reason and some people should just get used to it. It's a Thing thing, you wouldn't understand.
Cat: Ah, yes of course. Thing 2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number 2 does not imply in any way that he's inferior to Thing 1.
Thing 2: And all of the above.
Cat: He says you may feel free to call him Thing A if you like. He will also accept Super Thing, Thing King, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate Thun-da or Ben.
Thing 2: [chuckles] "Ben".
[Thing 1 jabbers incoherently]
Cat: Thing 1 says he's Thing 1 for a reason and some people should just get used to it. It's a Thing thing, you wouldn't understand.
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[Conrad and Sally notice the Cat's car]
Conrad: Wow! That's very cool!
Cat: That's just the dust cover. [removes cover, exposing an unusual car] Here she is! The Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger, or S-L-O-W for short.
Sally: S-L-O-W?
Cat: Yeah, SLOW. It's better than the last name we had, Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter.
Conrad: Oh! You mean–
Cat: Oh! Quick to the SLOW!
Conrad: Wow! That's very cool!
Cat: That's just the dust cover. [removes cover, exposing an unusual car] Here she is! The Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger, or S-L-O-W for short.
Sally: S-L-O-W?
Cat: Yeah, SLOW. It's better than the last name we had, Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter.
Conrad: Oh! You mean–
Cat: Oh! Quick to the SLOW!
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[about The Fish] Come on, kids! Are you going to listen to him? He drinks where he pees!
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This cat should not be here, he should not be about! He should not be here when your mother is out!