The Chumscrubber quotes

View Quote Billy: [playing Charley's "Chumscrubber" video game] Ah! Come on! Let's see some ****ing gore/blood already.

View Quote Billy: [talking to dean in the phone] Hello? Ask for Dean. Is Dean there, please?

View Quote Crystal Falls: Don't pretend you're someone you're not, because after a while you forget you were acting, and so will everyone else.

View Quote Dean Stiffle: Can/Will somebody pick up THE GOD DAMN PHONE!

View Quote Dean Stiffle: I read this statistic once, that the average kid sees something like 10,000 dead bodies on TV before he turns 18.

View Quote Mrs. Johnson: [repeated line to everyone] I just thought you should know that, in no way whatsoever, do I blame you for Troy's death.

View Quote Terri Bratley: [after noticing officer Lou Bratley watching her from the other side of the street] I see you, Lou! Don't you think I can't see what you're doing, Lou! Can't you see I just don't ****ing love you anymore!

View Quote Various Teens: [repeated line] It's for school.

View Quote Billy: [to Charlie] Hey, shitballs, come here. I want to show you something. Now, when you get to high school, if anyone tries to kick your ass - well, you're probably gonna get your ass kicked anyways, but if you weren't such a pussy, you could try this. Come at me, hit me in the chest.
[Charlie weakly hits him]
Billy: No, really come at me like you got a pair.
[Charlie lunges at Billy, who tosses him across the room]
Billy: Good! That was good!
Crystal Falls: Oh, my God, Billy! Are you hurt, Charlie?
Lee: He's about half your size, man.
Billy: Are you ****ing kidding me? We ****ing kidnapped this ****ing kid! Am I the only person who ****ing remembers that?
Lee: You're such a dick.

View Quote Charlie Stiffle: [playing a video game] Son of a bitch!
Mrs. Stiffle: Charlie! I am doing Veggie Force!

View Quote Crystal Falls: [after Crystal's friends have mocked Troy's death to humiliate Dean] Look, I just wanted to apologize for what happened back there.
Dean Stiffle: Why? Did you do it?
Crystal Falls: No, but my friends did.
Dean Stiffle: Some pretty nice friends you got there.
Crystal Falls: What are you saying? It's better to have no friends at all?
Dean Stiffle: Actually, yes.

View Quote Crystal Falls: [Billy is playing Charlie's tuba] What are you doing?
Billy: I was thinking of going out for marching band. It seems to be what all the chicks are into, you know?
Crystal Falls: Yeah, Charlie nailed me all night long. It was unreal.
[Billy throws down the tuba, destroying it]
Crystal Falls: Oh my god, Billy - why would you do that?
Billy: Because I'm a stupid bastard?

View Quote Crystal Falls: How do you eat that?
Dean Stiffle: In pretty much the standard way.
Crystal Falls: You know, if I ate that everyday, I would get a big fat ass.
Dean Stiffle: Is that your greatest fear?
Crystal Falls: No, but it's my mother's greatest wish.
Dean Stiffle: What? That you be fat?
Crystal Falls: No, just fatter than her.

View Quote Crystal Falls: I don't think you're crazy.
Dean Stiffle: You know, there are several major book chains that would be willing to disagree with you on that point.

View Quote Crystal Falls: I probably would have ended up with a football player if I hadn't met you. And I'm not gonna lie - you've really kept it interesting, but I'm done.
Billy: What the **** are you talking about?