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View Quote We're all unlucky in love sometimes. When I am, I go jogging. The body loses water when you jog, so you have none left for tears.

View Quote We split up on April Fool's Day. So I decided to let the joke run for a month. Every day I buy a can of pineapple with a sell-by date of May 1. May loves pineapple, and May 1 is my birthday. If May hasn't changed her mind by the time I've bought thirty cans, then our love will also expire.

View Quote Somehow everything comes with an expiry date. Swordfish expires. Meat sauce expires. Even cling-film expires. Is there anything in the world which doesn't?

View Quote If memories could be canned, would they also have expiry dates? If so, I hope they last for centuries.

View Quote In May's eyes, I'm no different from a can of pineapple.

View Quote At the high point of our intimacy, we were just 0.01 cm from each other. I knew nothing about her. Six hours later, she fell in love with another man.

View Quote [calling potential dates] Lulu? This is Qiwu. Want to come out for a drink? You're in bed already? This early? You were asleep? Never mind. Bye. Chieko-san? Guess who? This is Qiwu. That's right. Want to come out for a drink? Your husband? When did you get married? Five years! Has it been that long? You have two kids! You're happy, that's great! Okay, never mind. Is Kong Siu-wai there? This is He Qiwu. We were classmates in grade four. You don't remember? Nothing, goodbye.

View Quote Do you... like pineapple?