City Slickers quotes

View Quote [Mitch's family has picked him up at the airport; he is hugging his children as Barbara walks up]
Mitch: Hey, look what I found! [points to his mouth and smiles broadly]
Barbara: Ooh, that looks nice. Where did you find that?
Mitch: [feigning exasperation] Colorado! Isn't it always in the last place you look?

View Quote [Mitch, Ed, Phil and Bonnie are sitting on bedrolls discussing which is more interesting, women discussing relationships or men discussing baseball]
Ed: That's easy; we win.
Bonnie: [laughs incredulously] How can you say that?
Ed: Because honey, if that stuff were half as interesting as baseball, they'd have cards for it and sell it with gum.

View Quote [at Curly's impromptu funeral] The man ate bacon at every meal... you just can't do that!

View Quote [singing] Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them dogies rollin', man my ass is swollen, Rawhide! Get 'em up, move 'em out, wake 'em up, get 'em dressed, get 'em shaved, comb their hair, Rawhide! Tie me down, tell me lies, pull my hair, smack my thighs - with a big wet strap of, Rawhide!

View Quote [to a classroom full of children on Career Day] Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so fast. When you’re a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, “What happened to my twenties?” Your forties, you grow a little pot belly, you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud. One of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Fifties you have a minor surgery. You’ll call it a procedure, but it’s a surgery. Sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud, but it doesn’t matter because you can’t hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, start eating dinner at two o'clock in the afternoon, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate soft yogurt and muttering “How come the kids don’t call? How come the kids don’t call?” The eighties, you’ve had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can’t stand but who you call mama. Any questions?

View Quote [to a Spanish doctor treating a puncture wound on his buttock] Excuse me, el doctor! Hello...? Don't sew anything up that's supposed to remain open, OK?

View Quote Charge all this to my Visa [spits out chewing tobacco and it lands on a denim shirt for sale] and that as well.

View Quote City folk.

View Quote Great gobs of goose shit!

View Quote I crap bigger than you.

View Quote I feel as happy as a puppy dog with two peters.

View Quote I'm 39, and I'm saying "Moo, cow!" in a river!

View Quote If hate were people, I'd be China!!

View Quote Let's bring out the cake!

View Quote No, that was "I like your ass; can I wear it as a hat?".