Randal Graves quotes

View Quote One semester we took Criminology, for Christ's sake! Criminology! Who the **** were we studying to be: Batman?

View Quote So that's the way you see all this time we've spent together? That's weird, man. I thought you were the only guy in the world who got me and had my back, the only person who'd take a bullet for me, 'cause I assumed you felt the same way about me the same way I feel about you. Then all of the sudden one day you're like, "I'm movin'. Bye." Do you know what that's been like for me? I'm lookin' at a future that just sucks cause you aren't gonna be in it anymore. And you're not even throwin' me over for a life that means something to you. It's just a stupid, hollow existence you think you should embrace because you're getting old or something, because it's the life everyone else goes after. You're a ****ing drone, dude.

View Quote Man, you must love this ****ing guy, 'cause he's the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according to everyone else's standards. "I have to go down to Florida and get married because that what's expected of me." And the ****ing insane part is, he ain't even crazy about the chick he's marrying or Florida, never mind the fact that he's got a perfectly good chick right here in Jersey who he's nuts about and even Anne-****ing-Frank can see that she's nuts about him—God knows why. And she likes you for who you are, man. She ain't trying to stuff you into a box you'll never fit into, not to mention that she's carrying your hideous ****ing C.H.U.D. of a kid. Jesus, if you had any sense whatsoever, you'd ****ing stop trying to bray it up with the rest of the sheep and live your life the way it makes sense to you, you ****ing ass.

View Quote What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look at weird, ****ed-up pictures of dirty sex you'll never have yourself?

View Quote All right look, there's only one "Return", OK, and it ain't of the King.  It's of the Jedi.

View Quote You're my best friend and I love you, in a totally heterosexual way. Please don't leave me.

View Quote Who would be friends with me? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me.