Multiple Characters quotes
View Quote
Officer Ryan: You think you know who you are? [Officer Hanson nods] You have no idea.
View Quote
Shereen: They think we're Arab. When did Persian become Arab?
View Quote
Jean: I am angry all the time... and I don't know why.
View Quote
Christine: I just couldn't stand to see that man take away your dignity.
View Quote
Dorri: Listen. You can give me the gun, or give me back the money, and I'm really hoping for the money.
View Quote
Daniel: [To his daughter] She had these little stubby wings, like she could've glued them on, you know, like I'm gonna believe she's a fairy. So she said, "I'll prove it." So she reaches into her backpack and pulls out this invisible cloak and she ties it around my neck. And she tells me that it's impenetrable. You know what impenetrable means? It means nothing can go through it. No bullets, nothing. She told me that if I wore it, nothing would hurt me. And I did. And my whole life, I never got shot, stabbed, nothing. I mean, how weird is that?
View Quote
Shaniqua: [After being rear-ended] Ahh! Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with you people? Uh-uh! Don't talk to me unless you speak American!
View Quote
Anthony: You see any white people in there waiting an hour and thirty-two minutes for a plate of spaghetti? Huh? And how many cups of coffee did we get?
Peter: You don't drink coffee and I didn't want any.
Anthony: That woman poured cup after cup to every white person around us. Did she even ask you if you wanted any?
Peter: We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black?
Peter: You don't drink coffee and I didn't want any.
Anthony: That woman poured cup after cup to every white person around us. Did she even ask you if you wanted any?
Peter: We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black?
View Quote
Anthony: That waitress sized us up in two seconds. We're black and black people don't tip. So she wasn't gonna waste her time. Now somebody like that? Nothing you can do to change their mind.
Peter: So, uh... how much did you leave?
Anthony: You expect me to pay for that kind of service?
Peter: So, uh... how much did you leave?
Anthony: You expect me to pay for that kind of service?
View Quote
Anthony: Look around you! You couldn't find a whiter, safer, or better-lit part of this city. But this white woman sees two black guys, who look like UCLA students, strolling down the sidewalk and her reaction is blind fear. I mean, look at us, dog! Are we dressed like gang bangers? Huh? No. Do we look threatening? No. Fact, if anybody should be scared, it's us: we're the only two black faces surrounded by a sea of over-caffeinated white people, patrolled by the trigger-happy LAPD. So, you tell me, why aren't we scared?
Peter: Because we got guns?
Anthony: You could be right.
Peter: Because we got guns?
Anthony: You could be right.
View Quote
Rick: [After his car is stolen] Why did these guys have to be black? No matter how we spin this thing, I'm either gonna lose the black vote or I'm gonna lose the law and order vote!
Karen: You know, I think you're worrying too much. You have a lot of support in the black community.
Rick: All right. If we can't duck this thing, we're gonna have to neutralize it. What we need is a picture of me pinning a medal on a black man. The firefighter - the one that saved the camp or something - Northridge... what's his name?
Bruce: He's Iraqi.
Rick: What?
Bruce: He's Iraqi. His name is Saddam.
Rick: Great. I'm going to pin a medal on an Iraqi named Saddam. Give yourself a raise!
Karen: You know, I think you're worrying too much. You have a lot of support in the black community.
Rick: All right. If we can't duck this thing, we're gonna have to neutralize it. What we need is a picture of me pinning a medal on a black man. The firefighter - the one that saved the camp or something - Northridge... what's his name?
Bruce: He's Iraqi.
Rick: What?
Bruce: He's Iraqi. His name is Saddam.
Rick: Great. I'm going to pin a medal on an Iraqi named Saddam. Give yourself a raise!
View Quote
Officer Ryan: [talking on the phone] I wanna speak to your supervisor...
Shaniqua: I am my supervisor!
Officer Ryan: All right well, what's your name?
Shaniqua: Shaniqua Johnson.
Officer Ryan: Shaniqua. Big ****ing surprise that is!
Shaniqua: Oh! [hangs up]
Shaniqua: I am my supervisor!
Officer Ryan: All right well, what's your name?
Shaniqua: Shaniqua Johnson.
Officer Ryan: Shaniqua. Big ****ing surprise that is!
Shaniqua: Oh! [hangs up]
View Quote
Jean: [yelling] I just had a gun pointed in my face...
Rick: You lower your voice.
Jean: ... and it was my fault because I knew it was gonna happen. But if a white person sees two black men walking towards her and she turns and walks away, she's a racist, right? Well I got scared and I didn't do anything and ten seconds later I had a gun in my face! Now I am telling you, your amigo in there is going to sell our key to one of his homies and this time it would be really ****ing great if you acted like you gave a shit!
Rick: You lower your voice.
Jean: ... and it was my fault because I knew it was gonna happen. But if a white person sees two black men walking towards her and she turns and walks away, she's a racist, right? Well I got scared and I didn't do anything and ten seconds later I had a gun in my face! Now I am telling you, your amigo in there is going to sell our key to one of his homies and this time it would be really ****ing great if you acted like you gave a shit!
View Quote
[After Maria takes Jean to the hospital]
Jean: Do you want to hear something funny?
Maria: What's that, Mrs. Jean?
Jean: You're the best friend I've got.
Jean: Do you want to hear something funny?
Maria: What's that, Mrs. Jean?
Jean: You're the best friend I've got.
View Quote
[After curving off the road during conversation and hitting something, Peter looks under the car.]
Peter: Aw... shit, man, we just ran over a ****.
Anthony: You're saying there's a **** under this truck?
Peter: What part of that didn't make sense to you? There's a **** under the ****ing truck!
Anthony: Well what did he do just? Just jump out in the middle of the road?
Peter: We gotta pull out of there. I think we can do it by his arms.
Anthony: You pull on that arm and it's gonna come off. Now here's an idea, let's just get back in the car and drive until he falls off.
Peter: Or we can pull him out and drop him off at a hospital.
Anthony: You start pulling on that fool's arm and it's gonna fall off. Then you are gonna be standing in the street holding a ****'s arm. Then what's your ass gonna do?
Peter: If we leave him here he dies, then we're up for murder charges. Now how 'bout you just come down here, grab an arm, and help me pull him out, dog?
Anthony: Shit.
[They both start pulling the man out]
Anthony: You're saying there's a **** under this truck?
Peter: What part of that didn't make sense to you? There's a **** under the ****ing truck!
Anthony: Well what did he do just? Just jump out in the middle of the road?
Peter: We gotta pull out of there. I think we can do it by his arms.
Anthony: You pull on that arm and it's gonna come off. Now here's an idea, let's just get back in the car and drive until he falls off.
Peter: Or we can pull him out and drop him off at a hospital.
Anthony: You start pulling on that fool's arm and it's gonna fall off. Then you are gonna be standing in the street holding a ****'s arm. Then what's your ass gonna do?
Peter: If we leave him here he dies, then we're up for murder charges. Now how 'bout you just come down here, grab an arm, and help me pull him out, dog?
Anthony: Shit.
[They both start pulling the man out]
View Quote
Anthony: No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drives, then ask me that again!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drives, then ask me that again!
View Quote
Graham: [on the phone] Mom, I can't talk to you right now, OK? I'm having sex with a white woman. [hangs up] OK, where were we?
Ria: I was white, and you were about to jerk off in the shower.
[Ria gets out of bed]
Graham: Oh, shit. Come on, I would have said you were Mexican but I don't think it would have pissed her off as much.
Ria: Why do you keep everybody a certain distance, huh? What, you start to feel something and panic?
Graham: Come on, Maria. You're just pissed 'cause I answered the phone.
Ria: That's just where I began to get pissed. I mean, really, what kind of man speaks to his mother that way?
Graham: Oh, this is about my mother. What do you know about my mother?
Ria: If I was your father, I'd kick your ****ing ass.
Graham: OK, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson?
Ria: You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How 'bout a geography lesson? My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither of those is Mexico.
Graham: Ah. Well then I guess the big mystery is, who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their lawns?
Ria: I was white, and you were about to jerk off in the shower.
[Ria gets out of bed]
Graham: Oh, shit. Come on, I would have said you were Mexican but I don't think it would have pissed her off as much.
Ria: Why do you keep everybody a certain distance, huh? What, you start to feel something and panic?
Graham: Come on, Maria. You're just pissed 'cause I answered the phone.
Ria: That's just where I began to get pissed. I mean, really, what kind of man speaks to his mother that way?
Graham: Oh, this is about my mother. What do you know about my mother?
Ria: If I was your father, I'd kick your ****ing ass.
Graham: OK, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson?
Ria: You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How 'bout a geography lesson? My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither of those is Mexico.
Graham: Ah. Well then I guess the big mystery is, who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their lawns?
View Quote
Anthony: You have no idea why they put those great big windows on the sides of busses, do you?
Peter: Why?
Anthony: One reason only. To humiliate the people of color who are reduced to riding on 'em.
Peter: Why?
Anthony: One reason only. To humiliate the people of color who are reduced to riding on 'em.
View Quote
Anthony: You could fill the Staples Center with what you don't know.
Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.
Anthony: You don't like hockey! You just say you do to piss me off!
Peter: ]dejected] I love hockey!
Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.
Anthony: You don't like hockey! You just say you do to piss me off!
Peter: ]dejected] I love hockey!
View Quote
Lara: I heard a bang.
Daniel: What, like a truck bang?
Lara: Like a gun.
. . .
Lara: How far can bullets go?
Daniel: They go pretty far except usually they get stuck in something and they stop.
Lara: What if they don't?
Daniel: Are you thinking about that bullet than went through your window?
Daniel: What, like a truck bang?
Lara: Like a gun.
. . .
Lara: How far can bullets go?
Daniel: They go pretty far except usually they get stuck in something and they stop.
Lara: What if they don't?
Daniel: Are you thinking about that bullet than went through your window?
View Quote
Lara: [referring to the impenetrable cloak] He doesn't have it!
Elizabeth: [confused] He doesn't have what?
Elizabeth: [confused] He doesn't have what?
View Quote
[After driving the man they struck to the hospital, the chop-shop owner wants to destroy the car Anthony and Peter stole]
Lucien: You watch the Discovery Channel?
Anthony: Not a lot.
Peter: Man, they got some good shit on that channel.
Lucien: Every night there is a show with somebody shining a blue light and finding tiny specks of blood splattered on carpets and walls and ceiling fans, bathroom fixtures and special-edition plastic Burger King tray cups. The next thing they show is some stupid redneck in handcuffs who looks absolutely stunned that this is happening to him. Sometimes the redneck is actually WATCHING the Discovery Channel when they break in to arrest him. And he still can't figure out how on earth they could've caught him! :[pauses] Do I look like I wanna be on the Discovery Channel?
Anthony: No.
Lucien: Then get the **** outta my shop.
Lucien: You watch the Discovery Channel?
Anthony: Not a lot.
Peter: Man, they got some good shit on that channel.
Lucien: Every night there is a show with somebody shining a blue light and finding tiny specks of blood splattered on carpets and walls and ceiling fans, bathroom fixtures and special-edition plastic Burger King tray cups. The next thing they show is some stupid redneck in handcuffs who looks absolutely stunned that this is happening to him. Sometimes the redneck is actually WATCHING the Discovery Channel when they break in to arrest him. And he still can't figure out how on earth they could've caught him! :[pauses] Do I look like I wanna be on the Discovery Channel?
Anthony: No.
Lucien: Then get the **** outta my shop.
View Quote
Graham: I swear to you, Mom. I'll find whoever killed him.
Graham's Mother: Oh, I already know who killed him. You did. I told you to find your brother, but you were too busy for us. I'll take care of everything here. You go on now. You have better things to do.
Graham's Mother: Oh, I already know who killed him. You did. I told you to find your brother, but you were too busy for us. I'll take care of everything here. You go on now. You have better things to do.
View Quote
Cameron: You know, sooner or later, you are gonna have to find out what it is really like to be black.
Christine: **** you man, like you know! The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching the Cosby Show.
Cameron: Yeah? Well at least I wasn't watching it with the rest of the equestrian team.
Christine: You know what Cameron, you're right. I got a lot to learn 'cause I haven't quite figured out how to shuck and jive yet. Lemme hear it again? "Sorry Mr. Poh-lice Man, you sure is mighty fine to us poor black folk. You sure to let me know next time you wanna finger **** my wife!"
Cameron: How the **** do you say something like that to me? You know what? **** you.
Christine: That's right, a little anger! It's a little late, but it's nice to see!
Christine: **** you man, like you know! The closest you ever came to being black, Cameron, was watching the Cosby Show.
Cameron: Yeah? Well at least I wasn't watching it with the rest of the equestrian team.
Christine: You know what Cameron, you're right. I got a lot to learn 'cause I haven't quite figured out how to shuck and jive yet. Lemme hear it again? "Sorry Mr. Poh-lice Man, you sure is mighty fine to us poor black folk. You sure to let me know next time you wanna finger **** my wife!"
Cameron: How the **** do you say something like that to me? You know what? **** you.
Christine: That's right, a little anger! It's a little late, but it's nice to see!