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THIS STUFF– IS NOT FOR SALE!
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Charlie: What's going on?
Phil: Your worst nightmare.
Charlie: What?
Phil: Mr. Broccoli's a no-show.
Kim: How was your day, baby?
Charlie: I lost my J-O-B.
Kim: You lost your J-O-B?
Charlie: I got F-I-R-E-D. Me and 300 other people.
Kim: They cannot do that.
[Miss Harridan reads a flyer for a fundraiser called "Rock for Daddy Day Care"]
Miss Harridan: "Rock for Daddy Day Care. Help us finance our new permanent home." [put the flyer on her desk; to Jenny] Do you know what this means?
Jenny: It's a chance to improve ourselves through a little healthy competition?
Miss Harridan: [frustrated] No, you bubble-headed idiot. It's a death sentence. If they get their hands on a big enough space, they'll ruin me. They're selling fun. I can't compete with fun. [turns away in anger] I should've crushed them in the beginning when they were weak. It'll be harder now, but I have no choice. I've got to stop them.
Jenny: How're you gonna do that?
[Miss Harridan turns back to Jenny and smiles cruelly]
Miss Harridan: By any means necessary.
Becca: We need more learning about things!
Charlie: More learning about things?
Becca: Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds!
Charlie [to Phil]: Today, we need some organization and planned activities.
Phil: No. We need Ritalin and leashes, that's what we need.
Jamie's Mom [to Jamie]: Who are you going to call if there's any problem? (gives her a phone)
Jamie: 911, Mommy.
Jamie's Mom: Oh, such a good girl!
Phil: Your worst nightmare.
Charlie: What?
Phil: Mr. Broccoli's a no-show.
Kim: How was your day, baby?
Charlie: I lost my J-O-B.
Kim: You lost your J-O-B?
Charlie: I got F-I-R-E-D. Me and 300 other people.
Kim: They cannot do that.
[Miss Harridan reads a flyer for a fundraiser called "Rock for Daddy Day Care"]
Miss Harridan: "Rock for Daddy Day Care. Help us finance our new permanent home." [put the flyer on her desk; to Jenny] Do you know what this means?
Jenny: It's a chance to improve ourselves through a little healthy competition?
Miss Harridan: [frustrated] No, you bubble-headed idiot. It's a death sentence. If they get their hands on a big enough space, they'll ruin me. They're selling fun. I can't compete with fun. [turns away in anger] I should've crushed them in the beginning when they were weak. It'll be harder now, but I have no choice. I've got to stop them.
Jenny: How're you gonna do that?
[Miss Harridan turns back to Jenny and smiles cruelly]
Miss Harridan: By any means necessary.
Becca: We need more learning about things!
Charlie: More learning about things?
Becca: Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds!
Charlie [to Phil]: Today, we need some organization and planned activities.
Phil: No. We need Ritalin and leashes, that's what we need.
Jamie's Mom [to Jamie]: Who are you going to call if there's any problem? (gives her a phone)
Jamie: 911, Mommy.
Jamie's Mom: Oh, such a good girl!
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[walking into Chapman Academy] Look at this place. It's Princeton for preschoolers.
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[While Charlie is explaining a play for football] How about we just run in a circle?
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[while leading Miss Harridan into his house] Is there anything I can get you to drink? Coffee, tea, water, eye of newt?
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Any boob can run a day-care center, but it takes a family to raise some kids and that's what we're gonna be from now on: a family.
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If you don't stop it with that Star Trek stuff, I'm gonna push you in that sticker bush.
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Let's get safety gate crazy.
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When The Carrot is done with you, you will be nothing but a kumquat!