The Dark Knight quotes

View Quote Joker: I want...my phone call. I want–I want it. [firmly] I want my phone call.
Detective Stephens: That's nice.
Joker: How many of your friends have I killed?
Detective Stephens: I'm a twenty-year man. I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners...and the freaks like you who would just enjoy it.
[pause]
Detective Stephens: And you've killed six of my friends.
Joker: [looks up with surprise and mouths] Six.

View Quote Mayor Garcia: [regarding The Joker] What do we got?
Gordon: Nothing. No matches on prints, DNA, dental. Clothing is custom, no labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint. No name. No other alias.
Mayor Garcia: Go home, Gordon. The clown'll keep 'til morning. Go get some rest. You're gonna need it. Tomorrow you take the big job. You don't have any say in the matter, Commissioner Gordon.
[The mayor and present police officers begin to applaud and cheer, only silenced when the Joker mockingly begins to clap with them]

View Quote Natasha: I don't think Gotham is a good place to raise children.
Bruce: [jokingly defensive] Hey, I was raised in Gotham and I turned out all right.
Harvey: Is Wayne Manor in Gotham City's limits?
Bruce: [laughs] The Palisades? Sure. As our new DA, you should probably check out where your jurisdiction ends.
Natasha: No, I mean, how can you justify supporting a vigilante?
Harvey: Well, I think that Gotham should be proud that one of its citizens is standing up for what's right.
Natasha: But this is a democracy.
Bruce: Exactly. Who elected the Batman?
Harvey: We did. All of us who let s**** like over our city. When their enemies were at the gates, the Romans would suspend democracy and appoint one man to protect the city. And it wasn't considered an honor, it was considered a public service.
Rachel: Harvey, the last person the Romans elected was named Caesar, and he never gave up his power.
Harvey: Fine. You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Look, whoever the Batman is, he's looking for someone to take his place. He doesn't want to do it forever.
Natasha: Someone like you, Mr. Dent?
Harvey: Maybe. If I'm up to it.
Natasha: [holding her napkin up, covering the upper half of Harvey's face, laughing] What if Harvey Dent is the Caped Crusader.
Harvey: [stroking Rachel's hand] If I was sneaking out every night, someone would noticed by now.
Bruce: [who has been listening and thinking intently] Well, I'm sold. Dent, I'm going to throw you a fundraiser.
Harvey: That's very nice of you Bruce, but I'm not up for election for another three years. [Bruce interrupts]
Bruce: [completely serious] No, no, no, you don't understand. One party with my pals, and you'll never have to worry about another cent.

View Quote Sal Maroni: [to Dent] I thought the D.A.'s job was just to play golf with the mayor; stuff like that.
Harvey Dent: Tee-off's at one-thirty. That's more than enough time to put you away, "Sally".

View Quote TV Reporter: Gotham PD has shut down the bridges and tunnels across the area.
Barman: Sweet Jesus. [to Detective Wuertz, who is sitting on the barstool] Shouldn't you be out there? You know, doin' somethin'?
Detective Wuertz: It's my day off.
Barman: I gotta take a leak. Keep an eye out for me, will ya? [leaves]
[Pause ... someone enters the room]
Detective Wuertz: Now what? Need someone to shake it for you?
Two-Face: Hello.
Detective Wuertz: [shocked] Dent. Jesus, I-I thought you was dead...
Two-Face: Half.
[He drinks Wuertz's shot of whiskey, with some of it flowing out the side of his face]
Two-Face: Who picked up Rachel, Wuertz?
Detective Wuertz: It must've been Maroni's men.
Two-Face: Shut up! Are you telling me that you're gonna protect the other traitor in Gordon's unit?
Detective Wuertz: I don't know, he never told me! Listen, Dent, I-I swear to God, I didn't know what they were gonna do to you.
Two-Face: Hm, that's funny...[spins his coin on the table]...because I don't know what's gonna happen to you either. [it lands on "tails"]
[Two-Face shoots him]

View Quote [After a brief scuffle amongst Batman and the Joker and his men, Joker grabs a gun, puts it to Rachel's head and moves in front of a window]
Batman: Drop the gun.
The Joker: Sure. But first, why don't you take off your little mask and show us all who you really are. [shoots the window behind him and hangs Rachel out of it]
Batman: Let her go.
The Joker: Very poor choice of words. [Laughs maniacally as he lets her fall]

View Quote [After the trial is over]
Rachel: [excited] There's no way we can link the gun to Maroni, so we won't be able to charge him with anything, but the fact that they're trying to kill you means that we're getting to them.
Harvey Dent: [sarcastically] Well, I'm glad you're so pleased. I'm fine, by the way.
Rachel: Come on, Harvey. You're Gotham's D.A. If you're not getting shot at, then you're not doing your job right.

View Quote [Alfred, after finding Bruce not in the penthouse and his bed not even slept in, leaves the building and walks to a nearby construction site and enters a giant container, which conceals an elevator that lowers him into the makeshift Batcave–where he finds Bruce stitching up his wounds from the previous night]
Alfred: It'll be nice when the Manor is rebuilt. Then you can swap not sleeping in a penthouse...to not sleeping in a mansion.
[Finally reaches Bruce and sees the poor job he's doing at stitching his wound]
Alfred: Every time you stitch yourself, you do make a bloody mess. [begins to take over and inspect Bruce's work]
Bruce: It forces me to learn from my mistakes.
Alfred: Then you should be pretty knowledgeable by know, sir.
Bruce: My armor, it's carrying too much weight. I need to be faster.
Alfred: [inspecting the wound] I'm sure Mr. Fox can oblige. Did you get mauled by a tiger?
Bruce: [quietly; sheepish] It was a dog.
Alfred: [looks up briefly] Huh?
Bruce: [defensively, motioning with his hand] It was a big dog. There were more copycats last night, Alfred. With guns.
Alfred: Why don't you hire them and take the weekend off?
Bruce: That isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to inspire people.
Alfred: I know. [finishes up] But things have improved. Look at the new district attorney.
Bruce: [focusing on the display of monitors in front of him, on which he brings up various footage of Harvey Dent] I am. Closely. I need to know if he can be trusted.
Alfred: [pointing to a monitor showing video of Dent and Rachel getting out of a cab] Are you interested in his character or his, ah...social circle?
Bruce: Who Rachel spends her time with is her business. [Gets up and walks to a table with a change of clothes]
Alfred: I trust you don't have me followed on my day off.
Bruce: If you ever took one, I might. [takes off his shirt revealing many horrific battle scars]
Alfred: [noticing the scars with a caring look] Know your limits, Master Wayne.
Bruce: Batman has no limits.
Alfred: Well, you do, sir.
Bruce: [putting on a new shirt] Well, can't afford to know 'em.
Alfred: And what's gonna happen on the day that you find out?
Bruce: [buttoning the shirt] We all know how much you like to say: "I told you so."
Alfred: On that day, Master Wayne, even I won't want to...probably.

View Quote [As the Joker is climbing into the school bus to leave]
Bank Manager: You think you're smart, huh?
[The Joker turns to regard him peculiarly]
Bank Manager: Whoever hired you'se...they'll just do the same to you.
[The Joker calmly stalks towards him as he says this]
Bank Manager: The criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor...respect! Look at you. What do you believe in, huh? What do you believe in?!
[The Joker kneels down, grabs the manager's face, and sticks a grenade attached to a string into his mouth]
The Joker: I believe...whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...[Joker takes off his clown mask for the first time, to reveal the horrific scars that extend his mouth into a giant grin]...stranger.
[Joker gives a slight chuckle and smile, gets on the school bus, and drives out of the bank causing the string to pull the pin out of the grenade...which is revealed to be a smoke grenade]

View Quote [At an intersection, a man driving a truck attempts to kill Coleman Reese by crashing into the police van containing him and Commissioner Gordon. Seeing this about to occur, Bruce Wayne speeds up in his Lamborghini to protect the van and manages to intervene in between the two vehicles; the truck hits his Lamborghini instead]
Gordon: That's Mr. Wayne's, huh? [inspecting the slightly injured Wayne] That's a very brave thing you did.
Bruce Wayne: [feigning ignorance] Trying to catch the light?
Gordon: Wha–you weren't protecting the van?
Bruce Wayne: Why? Who's in it?
[At this moment, Coleman Reese is being led away from the accident scene. Bruce gives him a knowing look. Realizing that the man who he had tried to sell out just saved his life, Reese hangs his head in shame and walks away]
Bruce Wayne: [to Gordon] Hey, do you think I should go to the hospital?
Gordon: You don't watch a whole lot of news, do you, Mr. Wayne?

View Quote [Back in the lobby, the bank manager, who was hired by the mob, pulls a shotgun from under his desk and shoots one of the clowns in the back; he proceeds to shoot at the other two in the lobby, one of which is the masked Joker]
Bank Manager: Do you have any idea who you're stealing from?! [Shoots off more rounds as the masked Joker and the other clown hide behind a counter] You and your friends are dead!
[Behind the counter]
Clown (gunman): [to the still masked Joker] He's out, right?
[The Joker nods; the Clown gets up only to receive the bank manager's last round in the right shoulder as the Joker shoots the manager in the right leg]
Clown (gunman): [to the Joker] Where did you learn to count?!

View Quote [Batman has tracked the Joker to an unfinished skyscraper, overlooking the two ferries that he is threatening to blow up. As Batman approaches, the dogs that the Joker has guarding him begin to growl. The Joker turns to face him]
Joker: Ah, you made it! I'm so thrilled!
Batman: Where's the detonator?
[The Joker shocks his head to the side]
Joker: [to the dogs] Go get him!
[The dogs attack. Batman disposes of the dogs, but is brutally beaten down by the Joker overpowering him with a steel pipe. Batman's 'sonar-vision' begins malfunctioning and the Joker forces Batman to the ground and subdues him]
Joker: [struggling to keep Batman down] We really should stop this fighting. Otherwise, we'll miss the fireworks!
Batman: There won't be any fireworks.
Joker: [expecting one of the two ferries to explode] And here we...go! [neither ferry explodes and the Joker looks out at them confused. He turns to a small clock and realizes that it is past midnight]
Batman: What were you trying to prove? That deep down, everyone's as ugly as you? You're alone.
Joker: You can't rely on anyone these days. You got to do everything yourself. [to Batman] Don't we? That's okay. I came prepared. [takes out a detonator, presumably the one that will blow up both ships] It's a funny world that we live in...speaking of which, you know how I got these scars? [motioning towards the scars on his mouth]
Batman: No, but I know how you got these!
[Batman fires his steel spike protrusions from his gauntlet, hitting the Joker's hand and releasing his grip on the detonator and Batman; Batman grabs him and throws him over the edge of the skyscraper. Falling and laughing, the Joker is caught by Batman's grappling wire and is hoisted up to where Batman is. The Joker moans in disappointment as he is raised]
Joker: Ugh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You...truly are...incorruptible, aren't you, huh? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because...you're just too much fun! [laughs a bit] I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman: You'll be in a padded cell forever.
Joker: Maybe we could share one! You know, they'll be doubling up the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.
Batman: This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good.
Joker: Until their spirits break completely! Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent and all the heroic things he's done. You didn't think I'd risk losing the battle for Gotham's soul in a fist fight with you? No. You need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harvey.
Batman: What did you do?
Joker: I took Gotham's "White Knight", and I...brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!
[The Joker begins to laugh hysterically as Batman storms off. A SWAT team arrives and presumably takes the Joker into custody]

View Quote [Commissioner Gordon visits his son]
Son: Did Batman save you, daddy?
Gordon: Actually, this time I saved him.

View Quote [During Maroni's trial]
Harvey Dent: With Carmine Falcone behind bars in Arkham, someone must've taken over the so-called Family. Is that man in this courtroom today?
Witness: [nods]
Harvey Dent: [confidently looking at Maroni] Could you identify him, please?
Witness: [jokingly, as Maroni smirks at Dent] You win, counselor: it was me. [courtroom laughs]
Harvey Dent: [surprised and furious, walks over to the table and picks up a folder] I have here, a signed statement, by you, saying that Salvatore Maroni is the head of the Falcone crime family. Is that true?
Witness: Maroni's just a fall guy. I'm the brains of the organization. [courtroom laughs again]
Judge: [bangs gavel] Order!
Harvey Dent: Your honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile.
Judge: Granted.
Witness: Hostile?! I'll show you hostile! [The witness smirks as he pulls out a gun, only for it to jam as Harvey punches him in the face and takes it]
Harvey Dent: [describing the gun to Maroni] Carbon fiber. .28 caliber, made in China. If you want to kill a public servant, Mr. Maroni, I recommend you buy American. [places it on Maroni's desk]
Judge: Remove this man into custody!
Harvey Dent: But Your Honor, I'm not done. [the courtroom cheers]

View Quote [Gordon has received a phone call from his wife]
Barbara: Jim, help! We're in trouble.
Gordon: Calm down, Barbara. What's going on?
Barbara: He's got has the kids!
Two-Face: [taking the phone] Hello, Jim.
Gordon: Harvey? What did you do? Where's my family?
Two-Face: Where my family died. [hangs up]