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[after Dru disabled the robot, Gru, regaining consciousness, searches for Dru, only to be confronted by a furious Bratt]
Bratt: You've ruined everything! And now it's time to die! Any last words, Gru?
Gru: You know what? I got two words for you. Dance fight! [starts dancing]
Bratt: Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong! I'm gonna enjoy this! [he and Gru dance fight]
Bratt: You've ruined everything! And now it's time to die! Any last words, Gru?
Gru: You know what? I got two words for you. Dance fight! [starts dancing]
Bratt: Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong! I'm gonna enjoy this! [he and Gru dance fight]
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[After returning to the lair from stealing the Dupont Diamond from Bratt, Dru learns of Gru's true motives for said heist, and he is not happy]
Lucy: I'll get the girls and start packing and tell them the good news! ♪ Oh, getting out jobs back! Yeah! ♪ [leaves]
Gru: Yes, yes, go tell the girls. [turns to Dru, who is still scowling and sulking] Dru.
Dru: No, no way! We can't give the diamond back! [tries to yank it out of Gru's hands]
Gru: I have to!
Dru: No, you don't!
Gru: Yes, I do!
Dru: Give it!
Gru: No!
Dru: Give it!
Gru: [swipes the diamond out of Dru's grasp] No!
Dru: GIVE IT! [kicks Gru in the shin]
Gru: Ow! What is wrong with you?
Dru: What is wrong with you?
Gru: You kicked me!
Dru: You-you lied to me!
Gru: Hey, I would've told you the truth, but you're too much of a wimp to handle it! That's it, I'm outta here.
Dru: You have no right to take that! We stole it together!
Gru: Together? [scoffs] You gotta be kidding me! You did nothing but screw up the whole time! I got this in spite of you!
Dru: Oh, yeah?! Well, at least I didn't get fired from my job like a total loser!
Gru: At least I had a job! What have you accomplished that was so great? I'll tell you what - NOTHING! No wonder Dad thought you were such a failure. [Dru gasps as Gru begins to leave]
Dru: WE ARE NO LONGER BROTHERS!
Gru: THAT'S FINE WITH ME! [leaves]
[Dru growls in anger, and then feels hurt and heartbreak]
Lucy: I'll get the girls and start packing and tell them the good news! ♪ Oh, getting out jobs back! Yeah! ♪ [leaves]
Gru: Yes, yes, go tell the girls. [turns to Dru, who is still scowling and sulking] Dru.
Dru: No, no way! We can't give the diamond back! [tries to yank it out of Gru's hands]
Gru: I have to!
Dru: No, you don't!
Gru: Yes, I do!
Dru: Give it!
Gru: No!
Dru: Give it!
Gru: [swipes the diamond out of Dru's grasp] No!
Dru: GIVE IT! [kicks Gru in the shin]
Gru: Ow! What is wrong with you?
Dru: What is wrong with you?
Gru: You kicked me!
Dru: You-you lied to me!
Gru: Hey, I would've told you the truth, but you're too much of a wimp to handle it! That's it, I'm outta here.
Dru: You have no right to take that! We stole it together!
Gru: Together? [scoffs] You gotta be kidding me! You did nothing but screw up the whole time! I got this in spite of you!
Dru: Oh, yeah?! Well, at least I didn't get fired from my job like a total loser!
Gru: At least I had a job! What have you accomplished that was so great? I'll tell you what - NOTHING! No wonder Dad thought you were such a failure. [Dru gasps as Gru begins to leave]
Dru: WE ARE NO LONGER BROTHERS!
Gru: THAT'S FINE WITH ME! [leaves]
[Dru growls in anger, and then feels hurt and heartbreak]
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[Dru's doorbell rings. Lucy answers it]
Lucy: Hello? [sees Niko] Oh, hi.
Niko: Hello, mother of Margo. I am Niko. I present you with pig to confirm my engagement to your daughter.
[The pig squeals]
Lucy: [laughs] Hey, what now?
Margo: What's going on? Go on.
Lucy: Uh, remember Little Boots?
Niko: Hello, my schmoopsie-poo. [tries to kiss Margo]
Margo: Whoa! Hey!
Lucy: He seems to think you're engaged. [laughs]
Margo: What? [as Niko kisses her hand] We're not engaged.
Lucy: Hello? [sees Niko] Oh, hi.
Niko: Hello, mother of Margo. I am Niko. I present you with pig to confirm my engagement to your daughter.
[The pig squeals]
Lucy: [laughs] Hey, what now?
Margo: What's going on? Go on.
Lucy: Uh, remember Little Boots?
Niko: Hello, my schmoopsie-poo. [tries to kiss Margo]
Margo: Whoa! Hey!
Lucy: He seems to think you're engaged. [laughs]
Margo: What? [as Niko kisses her hand] We're not engaged.
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[Edith and Agnes are at the Tipsy Unicorn tavern. Agnes discovers a real unicorn's horn]
Scar-Faced Man: I'm telling you I saw one once. With my own EYE! "[On 'eye', he bends down toward Agnes' face]
Agnes: [waving her arms to halt the man] Wait, wait, wait. You saw a for-real live UNICORN?! What did it look like? What do you think?[gasps] Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it… fluffyyyyyyy?!
Scar-Faced Man: It was so fluffy, I though I was going to die!
Scar-Faced Man: I'm telling you I saw one once. With my own EYE! "[On 'eye', he bends down toward Agnes' face]
Agnes: [waving her arms to halt the man] Wait, wait, wait. You saw a for-real live UNICORN?! What did it look like? What do you think?[gasps] Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it… fluffyyyyyyy?!
Scar-Faced Man: It was so fluffy, I though I was going to die!
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[Lucy hears a knock at the door]
Lucy: Ugh, here we go. Niko... [gasps]
[Niko is standing next to an angry woman carrying a baby. It is his mother]
Niko's mother: You... refuse my son's engagement pig?
Lucy: What?
Niko's mother: May you and your daughter die a slow death and be buried with onions!
[She spits at Margo. The baby also spits. Margo gasps in fright and hides behind Lucy, holding her hand. Lucy gets angry]
Lucy: All right, lady, that's it! Nobody... nobody curses my daughter! You got that? [Margo is surprised by how Lucy is defending her] Because if you mess with Margo, you mess with me and I promise you do not want to mess with me! Do you understand me?
Margo: It's okay.
Niko's mother: Yes, yes.
Lucy: [calmly] Good. Now... [angrily] Get! [Niko's mother takes her son's hand and they hurry off. Lucy then turns to Margo, thinking she's still upset with her] Look, Margo, I think we just need to–
[Margo hugs her tightly. Lucy is startled at first, but hugs her too]
Lucy: Ugh, here we go. Niko... [gasps]
[Niko is standing next to an angry woman carrying a baby. It is his mother]
Niko's mother: You... refuse my son's engagement pig?
Lucy: What?
Niko's mother: May you and your daughter die a slow death and be buried with onions!
[She spits at Margo. The baby also spits. Margo gasps in fright and hides behind Lucy, holding her hand. Lucy gets angry]
Lucy: All right, lady, that's it! Nobody... nobody curses my daughter! You got that? [Margo is surprised by how Lucy is defending her] Because if you mess with Margo, you mess with me and I promise you do not want to mess with me! Do you understand me?
Margo: It's okay.
Niko's mother: Yes, yes.
Lucy: [calmly] Good. Now... [angrily] Get! [Niko's mother takes her son's hand and they hurry off. Lucy then turns to Margo, thinking she's still upset with her] Look, Margo, I think we just need to–
[Margo hugs her tightly. Lucy is startled at first, but hugs her too]
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[the Minions are cheering because they want to go back to villainy]
Gru: Guys! Shh, shh, shh, shh! I don't think you heard me right! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This does not mean that we're going back to being villains!
Minions: Awww...
Stuart: Pinyoof la komiko!
Gru: Okay, alright, I get it. Look, I know it's been a little tough lately, especially with Dr. Nefario accidentally freezing himself in carbonite. [we see Dr. Nefario completely frozen while three Minions try to break him out] But our life of crime is over! Ugh. Mel! Mel, you're with me on this, right?
Mel: Ugh! Looka! [starts a slideshow] Bueno!
[the slide is Gru riding a tank while carrying enormous sacks of money with a happy face]
Minions: YEEEAAAAAHHH!
Mel: Pinyoof!
[the slide changes to Gru riding a lawnmower with a bored face]
Minions: BOOOOOOOOO!
Mel: Bueno!
[the slide changes to Gru avoiding infrared lights while stealing a golden artifact]
Minions: YEEEAAAAAHHH!
Mel: Pinyoof!
[the slide changes to Gru picking up Kyle's poop with a disgusted look on his face]
Minions: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!
Mel: Bueno!
[the slide changes to Gru about to detonate a load of dynamite with a gleeful look on his face]
Minions: YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Mel: Pinyoof!
[the slide changes to Gru unclogging a toilet with a plunger and a disgusted face]
Minions: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mel: MINIONS, NO LE PINYOOF! [the Minions all rouse up] Pinyoof, pinyoof, pinyoof!
Gru: Guys, listen to me! Read my lips! Leso me lipo! Pomo doro la comquit! [the Minions laugh] What? What did I say? [pulls out a Minions language book] It's not "comquit"? Ah, okay. Pomo doro la kumquat!
Mel: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pulisso kumquit parado. Lury para yo.
Gru: Don't take that tone with me! We're not going back to villainy!
Mel: Uh? No pirany?
Gru: Yes! And I don't want to hear another word about it! [the Minions all blow raspberries at Gru] Look! If you guys don't stop right now, there will be consequences!
Mel: Eh? Poro es me moro!
Gru: Hey, don't say anything you're going to regret!
Mel: Ooh, no re paros! El es quita! Choperu! [he and the other Minions leave]
Gru: What, you quit? You're serious? Come on! [Bob angrily stomps on Mel's Gru hat and leaves with all the Minions... except for Dave and Jerry, who just walked into the room, unaware of what just happened] Dave, Jerry! Good news, guys! You've just been promoted! You're in charge now! Huh? Not bad!
Dave and Jerry: [whoop excitingly as they tear off their Hawaiian costumes and begin rubbing their butts together] ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA!
Gru: Oh.. GEESH!
Gru: Guys! Shh, shh, shh, shh! I don't think you heard me right! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This does not mean that we're going back to being villains!
Minions: Awww...
Stuart: Pinyoof la komiko!
Gru: Okay, alright, I get it. Look, I know it's been a little tough lately, especially with Dr. Nefario accidentally freezing himself in carbonite. [we see Dr. Nefario completely frozen while three Minions try to break him out] But our life of crime is over! Ugh. Mel! Mel, you're with me on this, right?
Mel: Ugh! Looka! [starts a slideshow] Bueno!
[the slide is Gru riding a tank while carrying enormous sacks of money with a happy face]
Minions: YEEEAAAAAHHH!
Mel: Pinyoof!
[the slide changes to Gru riding a lawnmower with a bored face]
Minions: BOOOOOOOOO!
Mel: Bueno!
[the slide changes to Gru avoiding infrared lights while stealing a golden artifact]
Minions: YEEEAAAAAHHH!
Mel: Pinyoof!
[the slide changes to Gru picking up Kyle's poop with a disgusted look on his face]
Minions: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!
Mel: Bueno!
[the slide changes to Gru about to detonate a load of dynamite with a gleeful look on his face]
Minions: YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Mel: Pinyoof!
[the slide changes to Gru unclogging a toilet with a plunger and a disgusted face]
Minions: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mel: MINIONS, NO LE PINYOOF! [the Minions all rouse up] Pinyoof, pinyoof, pinyoof!
Gru: Guys, listen to me! Read my lips! Leso me lipo! Pomo doro la comquit! [the Minions laugh] What? What did I say? [pulls out a Minions language book] It's not "comquit"? Ah, okay. Pomo doro la kumquat!
Mel: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pulisso kumquit parado. Lury para yo.
Gru: Don't take that tone with me! We're not going back to villainy!
Mel: Uh? No pirany?
Gru: Yes! And I don't want to hear another word about it! [the Minions all blow raspberries at Gru] Look! If you guys don't stop right now, there will be consequences!
Mel: Eh? Poro es me moro!
Gru: Hey, don't say anything you're going to regret!
Mel: Ooh, no re paros! El es quita! Choperu! [he and the other Minions leave]
Gru: What, you quit? You're serious? Come on! [Bob angrily stomps on Mel's Gru hat and leaves with all the Minions... except for Dave and Jerry, who just walked into the room, unaware of what just happened] Dave, Jerry! Good news, guys! You've just been promoted! You're in charge now! Huh? Not bad!
Dave and Jerry: [whoop excitingly as they tear off their Hawaiian costumes and begin rubbing their butts together] ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA, ROOBA!
Gru: Oh.. GEESH!
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["hugging" Gru while jumping up and down] Oh, I love this guy! Look at him! But hair would make you better. [lightly punches Gru all over as Gru tries to stop him] Look at his face! Oh, he's so mad! [does an impression of Gru's face]
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[about Bratt] Time to blast him back to the 80's!
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[repeated line] I've been a bad boy!
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Face it, Gru. Villainy is in your blood!
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Gum one, gum all!
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There's always a blind choad
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This isn't over, Gru! You hear me? This is not over!
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Well, now that I've got the diamond, it's payback time. Oh, it's too bad Gru won't be around to try and stop me. Oh, wait! No, it's not! I hate that tweeb! And you, Hollywood! This time, I'm canceling you! And all the losers who rejected me! Ha ha ha...!
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What, twin brother?