Dirty Shame, A quotes

View Quote Betty: Don't you find it funny that every man in this neighborhood has a penis? [giggles]
Vaughn: Well, not really, Betty.

View Quote Big Ethel: Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? One nymphomaniac in the family is bad enough, but two?!
Vaughn: It's a disease, Big Ethel.
Big Ethel: Bein' a whore is a disease?!

View Quote Big Ethel: We're having a decency rally.
Resident: You'd better start in your own back yard then. I heard your daughter Sylvia picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks' home!
Big Ethel: That's not true! My daughter's a good girl, she hates sex!

View Quote Decency Rally Attendant: Look, I'm not a prude, I'm married to an Italian.
Old Woman: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles. Showin your pewbic patch to the bus driver! You should move downtown where you belong, ya whore!
Cow Patty: [upon seeing Big Ethel] Wow, a tranny bear!
Doctor: Sylvia, you have what is known as a runaway vagina.
Paige: Admit to God you are a whore. Make a list of all the people you've ****ed, and apologize to their parents.
Dora: All this yelling's giving me a Swedish headache. You know what I mean? Horny! Nothing wrong with beating the beaver once in a while.
Caprice: Let my mother's pussy be!
Sex Addicts Group: HALT! Horny! Anal! Lustful! TITTIES!

View Quote Dora: Ever take a roofie?
Sylvia: NO!
Dora: Me neither. I'm afraid I'd stay home and date-rape myself all night long!

View Quote Driver: Hurry up! I've got a hot date!
Sylvia: What, at 7 am?! What's the matter with you?
Female Driver: You'd have a date too if you wore some makeup!

View Quote Officer Alvin: I'm an adult baby, Sylvia. You want to be my Mommy?
Ray Ray: Adult babies are into age regression. They intensely eroticize being infants, and, sometimes they like to be burped.
Officer Alvin: I'm a big boy! And I'm beyond the law.

View Quote Papa Bear: We're husky, we're hairy, we're homosexual, and out of the second closet!
Mama Bear: And we can cuddle all night!

View Quote Sylvia: You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time!
Caprice: I was promoting the art of dance!
Sylvia: With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?!
Caprice: I was not DRUNK! I was on PILLS!
Sylvia: Something is the matter with you, Caprice!
Caprice: You are SUCH a neuter, mother! And neuters will never understand!
Sylvia: Something is the matter with your vagina!

View Quote Vaughn: Good morning Big Ethel.
Big Ethel: What's good about a morning with dildos in it?
Shopper: Amen to that! My husband's on Viagra!
Big Ethel: Oh you poor thing!
Shopper: Every minute he wants it!
Marge: He has no right to be that hard!
Shopper: I'm Viagra-vated and I'm not going to take it anymore!

View Quote A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.

View Quote A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!

View Quote Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!

View Quote Did you see those new neighbours moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to

View Quote Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!