Donnie Darko quotes

View Quote Principal Cole: What else is there?
Leroy: What else? Principal Cole, I'll SHOW you what else!

View Quote Prof. Kenneth Monnitoff: I am not going to be able to continue this conversation
Donnie: Why?
Prof. Kenneth Monnitoff: I could lose my job.

View Quote Rose Darko: Our son just called me a bitch.
Edward Darko: You're not a bitch. You're bitchin', but you're not a bitch.

View Quote Samantha Darko: Why do I have to sleep with Donnie? He stinks.
Donnie: When you fall asleep tonight, I'm gonna fart in your face.

View Quote Sean Smith: Beer and pussy. That's all I need.
Ronald Fisher: Well we gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
Sean Smith: Smurfette?
Ronald Fisher: Mmm-hmm [gulps beer]. Not some like tight-ass Middlesex chick, y'know? Like this cute little blonde that'll get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.
Sean Smith: [Nods Agreement] Hmm.
Donnie: Smurfette doesn't ****.
Ronald Fisher: That's bullshit. Smurfette ****s all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? It's because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
Ronald Fisher: Okay well you know what then, she ****s them while Vanity watches, okay?
Sean Smith: Well what about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get into all the action.
Ronald Fisher: Yeah. What he does: He films the gangbang, later on...he beats off to the tape.
Donnie: [earnestly] First of all: Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette - Gargamel did! She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gangbang scenario - Huh! I - it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual, th-they don't even have...reproductive organs under those little...white...pants. That's what's so illogical, y'know, about being a Smurf. Y'know what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
Sean Smith: [sighs] Dammit Donnie wh-why you gotta get so smart on us?

View Quote [Discussing Watership Down]
Karen Pomeroy: This could be the death of an entire way of life, the end of an era...
Donnie: Why should we care?
Karen Pomeroy: Because the rabbits are us, Donnie.
Donnie: Why should I mourn for a rabbit like he was human?
Karen Pomeroy: Are you saying that the death of one species is less tragic than another?
Donnie: Of course. The rabbit's not like us. It has no... keen look at something in the mirror, it has no history books, no photographs, no knowledge of sorrow or regret... I mean, I'm sorry, Miss Pomeroy, don't get me wrong; y'know, I like rabbits and all. They're cute and they're horny. And if you're cute and you're horny, then you're probably happy, in that you don't know who you are and why you're even alive. And you just wanna' have sex, as many times as possible, before you die... I mean, I just don't see the point in crying over a dead rabbit! Y'know, who... who never even feared death to begin with.
[Handing a copy of Watership Down to Donnie]
Karen Pomeroy [to Donnie]: Why don't you and Frank read this one together.

View Quote [Donnie is under hypnosis by his therapist]
Dr. Lilian Thurman: What else makes you feel regret, Donnie?
Donnie: [suddenly breaking into a wide grin] That I did it again...

View Quote [Donnie tries to kiss Gretchen and she pulls away]
Donnie: Well I-I, sorry I...
Gretchen: Donnie wait...
Donnie: I like you a lot...
Gretchen: I just want it to be... at a time when... it...
Donnie: When what?
Gretchen: When it reminds me just...
Donnie: When it reminds you of how beautiful the world can be?
Gretchen: Yeah... [turns her head] and right now there's some fat guy over there staring at us.

View Quote [Seth is holding a knife to Donnie's throat as a car approaches along the road]
Seth Devlin: Did you call the ****ing cops?
Donnie: Deus ex machina.
Seth Devlin: What did you say? What the **** did you just say?
Donnie: Our saviour.

View Quote [Under hypnosis by Dr. Lilian Thurman]:
Dr. Lilian Thurman: What else makes you feel regret?
Donnie: [grins] That I did it again.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: You did it again?
Donnie: I flooded my school, and I burned down that pervert's house! [laughs] I've only got a few more days left before they catch me!
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Did Frank...tell you to do these things?
Donnie: I have to obey him, he saved my life! I have to obey him...or else I'll be left all alone. And then...then I won't be able to figure out what this is all about. I won't be able to kn...know his master plan.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you mean...God's master plan? Do you now...believe in God?
Donnie: I have the power to build a time machine.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: How is that possible? [Donnie starts sniffling] How is...time travel...possible?
Donnie: The world is coming to an end...
Dr. Lilian Thurman: When is this going to happen?
Donnie: S...s...soon! [sniffling]
Dr. Lilian Thurman: [Donnie takes a teddy bear] What is going to happen?
Donnie: Frank is going to kill...
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Who is he going to kill? Who is he going to kill, Donnie?
Donnie: [looks up] I CAN SEE HIM RIGHT NOW!! [Frank is standing in front of him. Donnie gets a few disturbing visions]
Donnie: Sky is coming open...
Dr. Lilian Thurman: If the sky were to suddenly open up, there would be no law, there would be no rule. There would only be you and your memories. If this world were to end, there would only be you... and him... and no one else.

View Quote [reading his poem in class] A storm is coming, Frank says / A storm that will swallow the children / And I will deliver them from the kingdom of pain / I will deliver the children back to their doorsteps / And send the monsters back to the underground / I'll send them back to a place where no-one else can see them / Except for me / Because I am Donnie Darko.

View Quote [to Cunningham] And I'm afraid, really afraid... really afraid but I... I think you're the ****ing Antichrist.

View Quote He asked me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus!

View Quote I don't think that you have a clue what it's like to communicate with these kids. We are losing them to apathy... to this prescribed nonsense. They are slipping away.

View Quote No. [laugh] I don't think about ****ing my family... that's gross.