View Quote
Ms. Heller: I'm Ms. Heller the lunch lady...oh, damn! I mean your new teacher! ...Yeah!
View Quote
Women In Museum: The daddy polar bear was shot by hunter...just like your father!
View Quote
Harry: You two timing slut! And you, I thought you were from St. Louis! I don't ever want to see you again!
Walter: (walks into bathroom to see melted chocolate all over the place) Oh, my God.
Harry: And I'm leaving! (he does so)
Walter: (thinks the chocolate is fecal matter) He shit everywhere. THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE! DAMN IT!!! THERE'S SHIT ON THE WINDOWS! OH MY GOD! MY HOUSE IS FULL OF SHIT!! HE SHIT EVERYWHERE!! LOOK WHAT HE DID! HE SHIT ALL OVER THE WALL! GET UP HERE!
(his wife screams)
Jessica: When can I see you?
Lloyd: Uh, how about tonight at eight?
Walter: MY HOUSE IS FULL OF BILE! SHIT!! (to his wife) Calm down! Just calm down!
Jessica: Th-Thank you Lloyd, I got to go. I got to go for a little peek, see you at eight!
Lloyd: Date with Jessica, YEAH!
Walter: Look what he did! He shit all over the wall!
Walter: (walks into bathroom to see melted chocolate all over the place) Oh, my God.
Harry: And I'm leaving! (he does so)
Walter: (thinks the chocolate is fecal matter) He shit everywhere. THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE! DAMN IT!!! THERE'S SHIT ON THE WINDOWS! OH MY GOD! MY HOUSE IS FULL OF SHIT!! HE SHIT EVERYWHERE!! LOOK WHAT HE DID! HE SHIT ALL OVER THE WALL! GET UP HERE!
(his wife screams)
Jessica: When can I see you?
Lloyd: Uh, how about tonight at eight?
Walter: MY HOUSE IS FULL OF BILE! SHIT!! (to his wife) Calm down! Just calm down!
Jessica: Th-Thank you Lloyd, I got to go. I got to go for a little peek, see you at eight!
Lloyd: Date with Jessica, YEAH!
Walter: Look what he did! He shit all over the wall!
View Quote
Lloyd: (He uses Harry as a shield against mud being splattered from a car tire) I got some dirt on my shirt. How gross is this? Harry?
Harry: (Harry gets struck by car)
Lloyd: WHOA! Harry? You got to look both ways buddy!
Harry: (Moans) ...Charlie!
Walter: Oh my god...it's you! Your that guy that crapped up my house. What are you- your covered in shit! My car is covered in shit! What are you doing? Oh my god! What is wrong with you? You come back here, I'm not cleaning this up! I'm going to have to have this towed. Come back here! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and fecal matter, look at this!
Harry: (Harry gets struck by car)
Lloyd: WHOA! Harry? You got to look both ways buddy!
Harry: (Moans) ...Charlie!
Walter: Oh my god...it's you! Your that guy that crapped up my house. What are you- your covered in shit! My car is covered in shit! What are you doing? Oh my god! What is wrong with you? You come back here, I'm not cleaning this up! I'm going to have to have this towed. Come back here! Are you out of your mind? What is it with you and fecal matter, look at this!
View Quote
Walter: You like your butter, huh? We have some margarine if you want, you can just scoop it out of the tub.
Harry: No I'm fine, thank you.
Jessica's Mom: Oh, hello.
Walter: This is uh...Harry.
Jessica's Mom: You know, they make that in a womens suit to! (Harry covers himself a little with the jacket)
Walter: Jessica were eating!
Jessica: Meet me at the front door Lloyd.
Jessica's Mom: Well I see you like my rolls.
Harry: Sure, I like a women with some meat on her bones. So Charlie, what business you in?
Walter: The name's Walter.
Harry: No I'm fine, thank you.
Jessica's Mom: Oh, hello.
Walter: This is uh...Harry.
Jessica's Mom: You know, they make that in a womens suit to! (Harry covers himself a little with the jacket)
Walter: Jessica were eating!
Jessica: Meet me at the front door Lloyd.
Jessica's Mom: Well I see you like my rolls.
Harry: Sure, I like a women with some meat on her bones. So Charlie, what business you in?
Walter: The name's Walter.
View Quote
[Harry and Lloyd are talking to Ching Chong]
Harry: We already have a special slogan.
Lloyd: Harry, what're you doing? She's a foreign exchange student. She obviously doesn't speak the English. [to Ching Chong] Ching-chong-ching-chingy-chong-ching-chong-ching!
Harry: We already have a special slogan.
Lloyd: Harry, what're you doing? She's a foreign exchange student. She obviously doesn't speak the English. [to Ching Chong] Ching-chong-ching-chingy-chong-ching-chong-ching!
View Quote
[Harry secretly repeats everything Lloyd says to Jessica]
Lloyd: You have beautiful eyes!
Harry: You have beautiful eyes!
Jessica: Thank you.
Lloyd: [sees a dog] Hey, where'd you come from?
Harry: Hey where'd you come from?
Jessica: I was born in St. Louis.
Lloyd: Would you like me to pat your head?
Harry: Would you like me to pat your head?
Lloyd: I bet you want your head scratched.
Harry: I bet you want your head scratched.
Jessica: No why, we still have a lot to talk about.
Lloyd: I bet you... [dog barks at him] Don't you snap at me like that! You're lucky I don't punch you right in the face!
Harry: Don't snap at me like that! You're lucky I don't punch you in the face!
Lloyd: Oh, I remember you...how could I forget those big hairy nipples.
Harry: How could I forget those big hair nipples?
Lloyd: I can almost smell your stinky fenuter from here.
Harry: I can almost smell your stinky fenuter from here.
Lloyd: You have beautiful eyes!
Harry: You have beautiful eyes!
Jessica: Thank you.
Lloyd: [sees a dog] Hey, where'd you come from?
Harry: Hey where'd you come from?
Jessica: I was born in St. Louis.
Lloyd: Would you like me to pat your head?
Harry: Would you like me to pat your head?
Lloyd: I bet you want your head scratched.
Harry: I bet you want your head scratched.
Jessica: No why, we still have a lot to talk about.
Lloyd: I bet you... [dog barks at him] Don't you snap at me like that! You're lucky I don't punch you right in the face!
Harry: Don't snap at me like that! You're lucky I don't punch you in the face!
Lloyd: Oh, I remember you...how could I forget those big hairy nipples.
Harry: How could I forget those big hair nipples?
Lloyd: I can almost smell your stinky fenuter from here.
Harry: I can almost smell your stinky fenuter from here.
View Quote
[after seeing chocolate stains all over Harry] Harry, why are you covered in poo?
View Quote
[thinking] Wow! She's actually making me feel hot. [is shown to be sitting on a heater] I didn't think the first time would hurt so much... [Out loud] ESPECIALLY IN THE ASS!
View Quote
Good one Captain Rob, he does look like a you-know-what!
View Quote
I changed for dinner, I always change when I eat, except for breakfast and spazz meal.
View Quote
Man you got some serious self issues to work out my pudgy-ugly little friend.
View Quote
Next time Turks handing out wedgies...your not going to get one! Na uh! Were done pal, finito, the end...Auf wiener schnitzel...Mozeltov!