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Chief Bobnar: Dug, it's time to give up this football lark for their sake. They're just not capable of it.
Dug: Don't you miss the valley, Chief?
Chief Bobnar: The valley's gone now. And we're better off here in the Badlands than slaving down some mine. I mean, there's the odd giant duck around, but at least we're still together. We're still a tribe.
Dug: But our ancestors played football. We know they did. I still believe we can do this.
Chief Bobnar: With what? You haven't even got a ball to play with! (walks away) It's over.
Dug: No. There is still time. (to Hognob) C'mon, Hognob.
Dug: Don't you miss the valley, Chief?
Chief Bobnar: The valley's gone now. And we're better off here in the Badlands than slaving down some mine. I mean, there's the odd giant duck around, but at least we're still together. We're still a tribe.
Dug: But our ancestors played football. We know they did. I still believe we can do this.
Chief Bobnar: With what? You haven't even got a ball to play with! (walks away) It's over.
Dug: No. There is still time. (to Hognob) C'mon, Hognob.
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Chief Bobnar: Gonna start without us, Dug?
Dug: Chief, we can't play this game.
Chief Bobnar: What, because of a few paintings?
Dug: (gasps) So you know about those terrible pictures?
Chief Bobnar: They are terrible. I can draw better than that. But that's all they are: pictures. Is this lot that counts? You were right, Dug. I thought we were just rabbit hunters. Well, not anymore. You've shown me that. Who's playing with Dug for the valley?
other tribespeople cheer
Asbo: Champion!
Barry: It's what Mr. Rock would've wanted.
Dug: We challenge the champions! (he stabs the field with a trident near Jurgend's feet.)
Jurgend scoffs
Lord Nooth: Your funeral, cavemen.
Dug: Chief, we can't play this game.
Chief Bobnar: What, because of a few paintings?
Dug: (gasps) So you know about those terrible pictures?
Chief Bobnar: They are terrible. I can draw better than that. But that's all they are: pictures. Is this lot that counts? You were right, Dug. I thought we were just rabbit hunters. Well, not anymore. You've shown me that. Who's playing with Dug for the valley?
other tribespeople cheer
Asbo: Champion!
Barry: It's what Mr. Rock would've wanted.
Dug: We challenge the champions! (he stabs the field with a trident near Jurgend's feet.)
Jurgend scoffs
Lord Nooth: Your funeral, cavemen.
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Chief Bobnar: Right, gather 'round, grab a spear.
Treebor: (grabs a spear) Oh, it's pointy.
Magma: Oh, Treebor, just get over there.
Treebor: Oh, Mum...
Dug: Morning, Barry.
Barry: Morning, Dug.
Dug: Mr. Rock coming hunting today?
Barry: Oh yeah. Wouldn't miss it for the world.
Chief Bobnar: Morning, Asbo. Change your underpants today?
Asbo: Yep. Changed them with Thongo, Chief. Champion!
Thongo grunts in agreement
Gravelle (with her arm raised): Chief?
Chief Bobnar: Yes, Gravelle?
Gravelle: When I put my arm up, it hurts.
Chief Bobnar: Well, don't do it, then. (notices Grubup biting Eemak's leg) Grubup, don't eat that. That's Eemak.
Grubup: Yum. (chuckles)
Eemak speaks in Proto-Indo-European
Chief Bobnar: Exactly. Uh, right.
Treebor: (grabs a spear) Oh, it's pointy.
Magma: Oh, Treebor, just get over there.
Treebor: Oh, Mum...
Dug: Morning, Barry.
Barry: Morning, Dug.
Dug: Mr. Rock coming hunting today?
Barry: Oh yeah. Wouldn't miss it for the world.
Chief Bobnar: Morning, Asbo. Change your underpants today?
Asbo: Yep. Changed them with Thongo, Chief. Champion!
Thongo grunts in agreement
Gravelle (with her arm raised): Chief?
Chief Bobnar: Yes, Gravelle?
Gravelle: When I put my arm up, it hurts.
Chief Bobnar: Well, don't do it, then. (notices Grubup biting Eemak's leg) Grubup, don't eat that. That's Eemak.
Grubup: Yum. (chuckles)
Eemak speaks in Proto-Indo-European
Chief Bobnar: Exactly. Uh, right.
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Dug: We challenge the champions!
Lord Nooth: What did you say?
Dino: He said "We chall--" (interrupted by Lord Nooth)
Lord Nooth: Yeah, I heard what he said.
Dug: If we win, we keep our valley! You leave my tribe in peace!
Lord Nooth: You think you can beat us at football? (after Dug nods, he laughs and the crowd joins in laughter) A match between the Bronze and the brutes? What an idea!
Dino: Sacrilege, o premier leader.
Lord Nooth: Yes, quite.
Dino: The masses would flock to see such a vulgar spectacle. Pah!
Lord Nooth: Hmm... (looks over the Schnookels) Really? For the valley, you say?
Lord Nooth: What did you say?
Dino: He said "We chall--" (interrupted by Lord Nooth)
Lord Nooth: Yeah, I heard what he said.
Dug: If we win, we keep our valley! You leave my tribe in peace!
Lord Nooth: You think you can beat us at football? (after Dug nods, he laughs and the crowd joins in laughter) A match between the Bronze and the brutes? What an idea!
Dino: Sacrilege, o premier leader.
Lord Nooth: Yes, quite.
Dino: The masses would flock to see such a vulgar spectacle. Pah!
Lord Nooth: Hmm... (looks over the Schnookels) Really? For the valley, you say?
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Goona: (passing out Real Bronzio cards) Make no mistake, these are the best players bronze can buy.
Asbo: They're like ginormous, great, big footballing...giants!
Gravelle: Oh, there's no way we can beat such a great team!
Goona: They may be great, but what they're not is a team. They're 11 players who each think they're the star. That's their weakness. And that's how you can beat them.
Dug: Goona's right. They may be better players than us, but we have something they don't.
Barry: Moss?
Dug: No, Barry, not moss. We got each other. And if we work together, then maybe we can do this.
Asbo: They're like ginormous, great, big footballing...giants!
Gravelle: Oh, there's no way we can beat such a great team!
Goona: They may be great, but what they're not is a team. They're 11 players who each think they're the star. That's their weakness. And that's how you can beat them.
Dug: Goona's right. They may be better players than us, but we have something they don't.
Barry: Moss?
Dug: No, Barry, not moss. We got each other. And if we work together, then maybe we can do this.
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Goona: Hey! Don't touch the bronze.
Dug: What?
Goona: The bronze! Where have you been, the Stone Age?
Dug: Uh...
Goona: What?
Dug: What?
Goona: The bronze! Where have you been, the Stone Age?
Dug: Uh...
Goona: What?
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Lord Nooth: Alright. Secure the valley. Start mining ore.
Dino: Or what, Lord Nooth?
Lord Nooth: Ore, you fool. Start mining the ore. The metal that's in the ground.
Dino: Oh, the ore... in the ground! Yes... (laughs) What about the primitives?
Lord Nooth: (scoffs) Let them rot in the Badlands. They're low-achievers of history with their puny flints and drafty caves.
Dug: (angrily but quietly) You've picked the wrong tribe to mess with. (grabs a stone axe and charges at Lord Nooth)
Lord Nooth: "Oh, I'm so scared. You are waving your stones about." (Dug war-cries as he jumps at Lord Nooth) The Age of Stone is over, Dino. Long live the Age of Bronze. (bronze ball knocks Dug unconscious) Okay, let's get moving.
Bronzetrooper: Of course, Lord Nooth.
Lord Nooth: I'm late for my massage.
Dino: Or what, Lord Nooth?
Lord Nooth: Ore, you fool. Start mining the ore. The metal that's in the ground.
Dino: Oh, the ore... in the ground! Yes... (laughs) What about the primitives?
Lord Nooth: (scoffs) Let them rot in the Badlands. They're low-achievers of history with their puny flints and drafty caves.
Dug: (angrily but quietly) You've picked the wrong tribe to mess with. (grabs a stone axe and charges at Lord Nooth)
Lord Nooth: "Oh, I'm so scared. You are waving your stones about." (Dug war-cries as he jumps at Lord Nooth) The Age of Stone is over, Dino. Long live the Age of Bronze. (bronze ball knocks Dug unconscious) Okay, let's get moving.
Bronzetrooper: Of course, Lord Nooth.
Lord Nooth: I'm late for my massage.
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A rabbit!
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How are we going to get our valley back?
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I'm an old man. I'm almost thirty-two!
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If we play this game and beat them at it, we can have our valley back.
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If we win, we keep our valley, you leave my tribe in peace.
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It turns out your tribe were totally crap at football.
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Look at the sort of tribe we are. We’re a rabbit hunting tribe and it’s served us very well up till now.
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Take him away and kill him... slowly. [Guards start walking away with Dug really slowly] No! I meant take him away at normal speed and kill him slowly! Idiots!