Epic Movie quotes

View Quote Ashton Kutcher look-a-like: Yes! *jumps in with camera crew* Yes! You just got Punk'd! Yes! Yes! Yeah, he did it! He did it! C'mere, say it to the camera! Say it to the camera, c'mon, say it right there! *Edward stutters* Say it!
Edward: I-I just... I just got Punk'd.
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: Ah, schwow!
*Change to Punk'd-like skit*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *making exaggerated moves mocking Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd skits* Yeah! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwow! Schwow! Yeah! That was awesome! Yeah! Yes! This thing, up here, it's all me, baby! The trucker hat! That's awesome! I did it! You love it! You'll take it! Punk'd him!
*Change back to previous scene*:
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gibbering excitedly still over the joke* Oh, my gosh, that was really funny, oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! *he continues*
Edward: *yells in fury, Ashton still gibbering* Dude, you are so annoying!! *Punches Ashton, knocking him down and shutting him up*
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *gets up after a few seconds, resuming his gibberish and his crazy movements* But oh, my gosh! That was really funny! *he continues*
Edward: *keeps punching him, Ashton replying with a "Schwow!" with every punch, until Ashton falls over* Corny-ass trucker hat!
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: *flicks snow up at Edward in a childish manner* Schwow! Schwow....

View Quote Aslo: Have your Dr. Phil moment later. Now get outta here!

View Quote Aslo: Where you going, dollface? I just took my Cialis!
Aslo's girl: Screw you, Aslo.

View Quote Captain Jack Swallows: I'll get you for this... you... you... Bitch!

View Quote Edward: A chocolate river! Mmm! Mmm! Chocolate! Hahahaha!
Willy: That's actually the sewer line.

View Quote Edward: Captain Morgan! I love your rum.
Captain Jack Swallows: No. Captain Jack... Swallows... at your service.
Edward: Jack Swallows? That's kinda gay, dude.

View Quote Edward: I even got a tattoo with your name on it. [takes off his shirt, exposing what appears to be 50 Cent's tattoo]
White Bitch: That looks more like 50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot.
Edward: Shit! They did the wrong one.

View Quote Edward: I'm going to be a lucha libre wrestler!
Nacho Libre: You think you are better than the other orphans?

View Quote Edward: Now we're gonna be stuck here till we die.
Peter: Shut up, Edward. You're scaring her.
Edward: Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!

View Quote Harry Beaver: May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia: Peter, the Heroic; Susan, the Just; Edward, the Loyal and Lucy, the Dumbshit!

View Quote Lauren Conrad: Nice hair, Rogue. [Rogue touches her, causing her to fall to the ground, seemingly dead]

View Quote Lucy: I don't get it.
Man in "The Last Supper": You're all related! Brothers and sisters! You're a family, for Christ's sake! [Jesus rolls his eyes] Sorry.

View Quote Peter [to Lucy]: What are you doing?
Lucy: Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
Susan: Dumbass.

View Quote Peter: [about the frozen White Bitch] We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and-
[Jack Swallows comes rolling by on the wooden wheel and runs over the Bitch]
Captain Jack Swallows: Take that, Bitch!
Peter: [Pauses] Ah, screw her anyways.

View Quote Peter: [to Mystique] Would you like to come to the homecoming dance with me?
Mystique: As if.