Ernest Goes to Camp quotes

View Quote Mr. Tipton Ernest, Have you had any leadership experience?
Ernest: I had an antfarm once.
Mr. Tipton: Close enough.

View Quote Nurse St. Cloud: And that was the ceremony of the Blade, the Stone and the Arrow.
Ernest: Like in our culture: Paper, Rock, Scissors.

View Quote [Counselor Stennis is sitting in a lifeguard perch and is about to teach the boys a swimming lesson.]
Counselor Stennis: Okay. Everybody to the line. All right, everybody in the water.
[Everyone jumps in the water except for Moustafa]
Some boys: Hey! C'mon, Moose!
Counselor Stennis: Moustafa, Moose, whatever they call you. NOW! So you're the only one who can't swim? Well, you're gonna learn the Stennis way.
Moustafa: No! NO! I can't swim!
[Too late; Stennis picks up Moustafa and drops him into the water]
Moustafa: [sinking fast] Help! Somebody help!
[Ernest saves Moustafa from drowning]
Moustafa: Thanks, Ernest. I could obey you.
Ernest: Glad to help out.
Counselor Stennis: Well, meatheads, we're gonna try this again. This time it's to the end of the lake and back. Everybody in the water.
[The boys topple Stennis' lifeguard perch into the water]
Counselor Stennis: [in severe agony] My leg! My leg!
Danny: He’s learning to swim the Stennis way!
[The boys laugh at Stennis' expense]
Counselor Stennis: My leg! Aah!

View Quote [Jake is trying to get Ernest to taste his "Eggs erronious"]
Jake: Now Ernest, would someone dressed up like this lie to you about food?
Ernest: Fond as I am in Tibetian cooking, a hungry lion always hunts best. KnowhatImean?

View Quote [last lines]
Mr. Tipton: What happened?
Chief St. Cloud: Ernest broke the sign.
Mr. Tipton: Well. At least no one was hurt.

View Quote [Nurse St. Cloud gives Ernest a shot]
Ernest: I did it! I took the Lindbergh baby! I am Josef Mengele! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!