Good Burger quotes

View Quote Dexter: Who are you and what have you done with the real Monique?
Monique: Oh, she's right here! It's just that now she knows the real Dexter.
Dexter: Come again?
Monique: You forgot your jacket last night. (hands him his jacket)
Dexter: Thank you.
Monique: And this fell out of the pocket (holds contract)
Dexter: Oh, um, this is just...all it is, all it is...
Monique: Right, It's just the contract you had Ed sign. You know the one where you take most of his money? The money he's supposed to get for his sauce
Dexter: Yeah, but...
Monique: I can't believe you would do something like that to someone who trusts you! How can you take advantage of a sweet person like Ed? And after he got you a job!
Dexter: It ain't even like that! All I wanted—
Monique: Oh, I know what you wanted! You're not his friend you're just using him to scam a little cash off the side. It must feel really good. Oh, but don't worry I'm not gonna tell Ed you're cheating him.
Dexter: Why not?
Monique: 'Cuz it would hurt him too much.

View Quote Dexter: You know...I don't even remember what my dad looks like.
Ed: I don't remember what my dad looks like, either, but at least I get to see him everyday.

View Quote Ed: (about Kurt) I think he likes me.
Dexter: Ed! That diphthong doesn't like you, he just wants to use you!
Ed: Well, that's not 'natural.'

View Quote Ed: (after Dexter gets the job at Good Burger) Cool! I'll teach him everything I know!
Mr. Baily: (groans) Oh...God, help me.

View Quote Ed: Remember: When you mess with Good Burger—
Ed and Dexter: You go in the grinder!

View Quote Ed: Um, Dexter? I just want to say that, well, I'm really gonna miss you...a lot. And um, I will always remember you, Dexter Reed. In my thoughts and in my heart. Goodbye, my friend. (hugs Dexter)
Dexter: Um, Ed? I'm not going anywhere man. (Ed let's him go)
Ed: Oh.

View Quote Ed: Welcome to Good Burger. Home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?
Construction Worker: Well it's about time. Can I get two Good Burgers?
Ed: Oh, I'm sorry, dude. I have to go get them. Customers aren't allowed in back.
Construction Worker: (irritated) Just give me two Good Burgers!
Ed: Dude, I can't just give you two Good Burgers. You have to pay for them!
Construction Worker: Forget it!

View Quote Jake: Nice car. This yours?
Dexter: No. It's my mom's, but she's out of town on business.
Jake: And she let you drive this while she's out of town?
Dexter: Nope. (speeds off)

View Quote Kurt: (addressing employees) From now on your life is Mondo Burger. You can forget about your friends, you can forget about your family... because Kurt is now your mother and your father.
Dexter: (whispering to female co-worker) Kurt must look awfully strange naked.

View Quote Kurt: (blows whistle) Shut up! Just be quiet!
Dexter: Well, It'd be a lot more quiet if you stopped blowing the whistle.

View Quote Kurt: Can I give you a lift, Ed?
Ed: Gee, I don't know dude. I weigh about 150.

View Quote Kurt: Hey check it, boys. Right back there. It's the reject.
(Kurt and his friends laugh)
Dexter: Hey check it, Ed. It's the Mondo idiot.
Ed: Oh, well, nice to meet you Mondo Idiot. I'm Ed.

View Quote Kurt: I want you to come work for me at Mondo Burger. You come and make your sauce for Kurt.
Ed: Who's Kurt?
Kurt: I'm Kurt!
Ed: I'm Ed.
Kurt: I'm aware!
Ed: You said you were Kurt.

View Quote Kurt: You mess with Kurt and you go into the grinder.
Dexter: Okay, now this grinder of yours, is it a real grinder or is it some kind of a methaphor or something?
Kurt: That's it you're gone! Adios, TKO, historical!
Dexter: Wait, wait, wait. I won't be funny no more.
Kurt: Security!
(Security storms into the room)
Dexter: Wait! You ain't gotta bring the man down here! Kurt, come on, please! I need this job!
Kurt: Take out the trash!
Dexter: (offended) 'Trash?' Okay, now lookee here-
(Guards grab Dexter)
Kurt: Get this loser out of my face!
Dexter: 'Loser?!' Oh, now you're about to push me a little too far!
Kurt: You want a piece of me?
Dexter: Yeah! Extra crispy please!

View Quote Mr. Baily: (about Mondo Burger) They're competition. Big competition.
Monique: Yep. They could put us out of business.
(Rest of employees begin to agree with her)
Mr. Baily: All right! Now, come on! Good Burger has been here for over 40 years! People love us! (looks at Ed) Most of us...