Multiple Characters quotes
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Chuckie: So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the wall.
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Morgan: My boy's wicked smart.
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Morgan: I swallowed a bug.
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Morgan: If you were gonna fight them, why didn't you fight them back there? We got snacks now!
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Henry Lipkin, Psychologist: Will, the pressures, and I'm not judging them, I'm not uh..labelling them, but they are destroying your potential. Now no more shenanigans, no more tomfoolery, no more ballyhoo.
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Skylar: I can be in the NBA. I'm tall, I like to wear shorts. Hook! Hook! Dunk! Dunk! Baby, I'm all about three points.
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Tom: [to Will, about Lambeau] Most people never get to see how brilliant they can be. They don't find teachers that believe in them. They get convinced they're stupid. I hope you appreciate what he's doing. Because I've seen how much he enjoys working with you. Not against you.
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Billy: You're legally allowed to drink now so we figured the best thing for you was a car.
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Chuckie: I didn't get on Cathy last night.
Will: No?
Chuckie: Nah.
Will: Why not?
Chuckie: I don't know. [yells across room] Cathy!
Cathy: What?
Chuckie: Why didn't you give me none of that nasty little hoochie-woochie you usually throw at me?
Cathy: Oh, **** you and your Irish curse, Chuckie. Like I'd waste my energy spreading my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick? So go home and give it a tug yourself.
Morgan: Tootsie Roll! Toot, toots!
Chuckie: She's missing a tooth, Will. She's got skin problems. Plus, it's like five to two Morgan ends up marryin' her, you know what I mean? There's only so many times you can bang your friend's future wife.
Will: No?
Chuckie: Nah.
Will: Why not?
Chuckie: I don't know. [yells across room] Cathy!
Cathy: What?
Chuckie: Why didn't you give me none of that nasty little hoochie-woochie you usually throw at me?
Cathy: Oh, **** you and your Irish curse, Chuckie. Like I'd waste my energy spreading my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick? So go home and give it a tug yourself.
Morgan: Tootsie Roll! Toot, toots!
Chuckie: She's missing a tooth, Will. She's got skin problems. Plus, it's like five to two Morgan ends up marryin' her, you know what I mean? There's only so many times you can bang your friend's future wife.
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Chuckie: Morgan, we're not goin' to Kelly's just cus' you like the takeout girl. It's 15 minutes out of our way.
Morgan: What the **** are we gonna do, we can't spare 15 minutes?
Morgan: What the **** are we gonna do, we can't spare 15 minutes?
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Morgan: [singing] Double Burger...double burger? Chuck, I had a double burger!
Chuckie: Would you shut the **** up? I know what you ordered, I was there.
Morgan: So give me my ****in' sandwich.
Chuckie: What do you mean your sandwich? I bought it. Hey Morgan how much money you got on you?
Morgan: I said I'd give you the change when we ordered the Sno-Cones when we pulled up, so why don't you give me my sandwich and stop being a prick.
Chuckie: Well why don't you give me your ****ing sixteen cents you got on you and we'll put your sandwich on layaway, [puts the burger on the dashboard] there you go, keep it right up here for you. We'll put you on a program. Every day you come in with your six cents, and at the end of the week you'll have your sandwich
Morgan: Don't be an asshole.
Chuckie: What am I? Your ****in' sandwich welfare? I think you should establish a good line of credit. Like how you bought your couch. Payment plans. Remember? Your mother brought in ten dollars every day for a year..she finally got a couch Rent-a-Center style.
Morgan: Can I have my food now please?
Chuckie: [throws the burger at Morgan] Here's your ****ing double burger!
Chuckie: Would you shut the **** up? I know what you ordered, I was there.
Morgan: So give me my ****in' sandwich.
Chuckie: What do you mean your sandwich? I bought it. Hey Morgan how much money you got on you?
Morgan: I said I'd give you the change when we ordered the Sno-Cones when we pulled up, so why don't you give me my sandwich and stop being a prick.
Chuckie: Well why don't you give me your ****ing sixteen cents you got on you and we'll put your sandwich on layaway, [puts the burger on the dashboard] there you go, keep it right up here for you. We'll put you on a program. Every day you come in with your six cents, and at the end of the week you'll have your sandwich
Morgan: Don't be an asshole.
Chuckie: What am I? Your ****in' sandwich welfare? I think you should establish a good line of credit. Like how you bought your couch. Payment plans. Remember? Your mother brought in ten dollars every day for a year..she finally got a couch Rent-a-Center style.
Morgan: Can I have my food now please?
Chuckie: [throws the burger at Morgan] Here's your ****ing double burger!
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Morgan: Boy, I always thought how stupid you need to be to get fired from that job. I mean, how hard is it to push a mother-****in' broom aroundaroom.
Chuckie: Bitch, you got fired from pushing a ****in' broom.
Morgan: I got fired because management was restructuring.
Billy: Yeah, restructuring the amount of ****s they had workin' for 'em.
Morgan: Shut up. You get canned more than tuna, bitch.
Chuckie: Bitch, you got fired from pushing a ****in' broom.
Morgan: I got fired because management was restructuring.
Billy: Yeah, restructuring the amount of ****s they had workin' for 'em.
Morgan: Shut up. You get canned more than tuna, bitch.
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Chuckie: So, you ladies ah, go to school here?
Lydia: Yes.
Chuckie: Yeah, cause I think I had a class with you.
Skylar: What class?
Chuckie: Ah, history I think.
Skylar: Oh...
Chuckie: Yah, just cause I go here doesn't mean I'm a genuis...I am actually very smart...
...
Clark: What class did you say that was?
Chuckie: History.
Clark: History? Just history? It must have been a survey course then, huh?
Chuckie: Yeah, it was, it was surveys.
Clark: Right.
Chukie: You should check it out, it's a good course. It's a, uh...good..good class.
Clark: How'd you like that course?
Chuckie: You know...Frankly, I found the class, you know, rather...uh...elementary.
Clark: Elementary? Oh, I don't doubt that it was...I remember the class, it was just between recess and lunch.
...
Chuckie: All right, are we gonna have a problem?
Clark: There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the early colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities, especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian pre-capitalist and...
Will: [interrupting] Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob'ly, you're gonna be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you're gonna be talkin' about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year, you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
Clark: [taken aback] Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of--
Will: ..."Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from "Work in Essex County," Page 98, right? Yeah I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us- you have any thoughts of- of your own on this matter? Or do- is that your thing, you come into a bar, you read some obscure passage and then you pretend- you pawn it off as your own- your own idea just to impress some girls? Embarrass my friend?
[Clark is stunned]
Will: See the sad thing about a guy like you, is in about 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don't do that. And two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a ****in' education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.
Clark: Yeah, but I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.
Will: [smiles] Yeah, maybe. But at least I won't be unoriginal.
Lydia: Yes.
Chuckie: Yeah, cause I think I had a class with you.
Skylar: What class?
Chuckie: Ah, history I think.
Skylar: Oh...
Chuckie: Yah, just cause I go here doesn't mean I'm a genuis...I am actually very smart...
...
Clark: What class did you say that was?
Chuckie: History.
Clark: History? Just history? It must have been a survey course then, huh?
Chuckie: Yeah, it was, it was surveys.
Clark: Right.
Chukie: You should check it out, it's a good course. It's a, uh...good..good class.
Clark: How'd you like that course?
Chuckie: You know...Frankly, I found the class, you know, rather...uh...elementary.
Clark: Elementary? Oh, I don't doubt that it was...I remember the class, it was just between recess and lunch.
...
Chuckie: All right, are we gonna have a problem?
Clark: There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the early colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities, especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian pre-capitalist and...
Will: [interrupting] Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just got finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob'ly, you're gonna be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you're gonna be talkin' about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year, you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about you know, the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
Clark: [taken aback] Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of--
Will: ..."Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from "Work in Essex County," Page 98, right? Yeah I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us- you have any thoughts of- of your own on this matter? Or do- is that your thing, you come into a bar, you read some obscure passage and then you pretend- you pawn it off as your own- your own idea just to impress some girls? Embarrass my friend?
[Clark is stunned]
Will: See the sad thing about a guy like you, is in about 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One, don't do that. And two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a ****in' education you coulda' got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.
Clark: Yeah, but I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.
Will: [smiles] Yeah, maybe. But at least I won't be unoriginal.
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Skylar: You're an idiot. I've been sitting over there for 45 minutes waiting for you to come and talk to me, but I'm tired now and I hafta' go home, and I..I couldn't sit there any more waiting for you.
Will: Well..I'm Will.
Skylar: Skylar.
Will: Skylar.
Skylar: Oh, and by the way, that guy over there...the Michael Bolton clone...he wasn't singing with us, so to speak.
Will: Yeah, I know. I kinda' got that impression.
Skylar: Good. Okay. Well, I've got to go. Gotta' get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
Will: No..I didn't mean you. I--
Skylar: Oh, that's all right. There's my number. Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
Will: All right, yeah. May-maybe we could just get together and eat a bunch of caramels.
Skylar: What?
Will: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
Skylar: [laughs] Okay, sounds good.
Will: Well..I'm Will.
Skylar: Skylar.
Will: Skylar.
Skylar: Oh, and by the way, that guy over there...the Michael Bolton clone...he wasn't singing with us, so to speak.
Will: Yeah, I know. I kinda' got that impression.
Skylar: Good. Okay. Well, I've got to go. Gotta' get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
Will: No..I didn't mean you. I--
Skylar: Oh, that's all right. There's my number. Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
Will: All right, yeah. May-maybe we could just get together and eat a bunch of caramels.
Skylar: What?
Will: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
Skylar: [laughs] Okay, sounds good.
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Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?
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Will: There is a lengthy legal precedent, your honor, going back to 1789, whereby a defendant can claim self-defense against an agent of the government, if that act is deemed a defense against tyranny, a defense of liberty.
Prosecutor: Your Honor...
Will: Henry Ward Beecher in Proverbs from the Plymouth Pulpit, 1887 says, and I quote--
Prosecutor: 1887? This is the 20th century, your honor.
Will: Excuse me. Excuse me.
Prosecutor: You're making a mockery of the court here!
Will: I'm afforded the right to speak in my own defense, sir, by the Constitution of the United States. This is the same do****ent that guarantees my liberty.
Prosecutor: Hey, don't tell me about the Constitution of the United States.
Will: Now, liberty, in case you've forgotten, is the soul's right to breath. And when it cannot take a long breath, laws are girdered too tight. Without liberty, man is a syncope.
Prosecutor: Man is a what?
Will: Ibid, your honor..
Prosecutor: Your Honor...
Will: Henry Ward Beecher in Proverbs from the Plymouth Pulpit, 1887 says, and I quote--
Prosecutor: 1887? This is the 20th century, your honor.
Will: Excuse me. Excuse me.
Prosecutor: You're making a mockery of the court here!
Will: I'm afforded the right to speak in my own defense, sir, by the Constitution of the United States. This is the same do****ent that guarantees my liberty.
Prosecutor: Hey, don't tell me about the Constitution of the United States.
Will: Now, liberty, in case you've forgotten, is the soul's right to breath. And when it cannot take a long breath, laws are girdered too tight. Without liberty, man is a syncope.
Prosecutor: Man is a what?
Will: Ibid, your honor..
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Will: [on the phone] Hey, uh....it's Will.
Skylar: Who?
Will: It's Will. I'm, you know, the really funny, good-lookin' guy you met at the bar the other night.
Skylar: I don't recall anyone who matched that description. I think I'd remember.
Will: All right. Well, you got me. It's the ugly, obnoxious toothless loser who got hammered and wouldn't leave you alone all night.
Slylar: Ohhhh, Wiill. I remember.
Skylar: Who?
Will: It's Will. I'm, you know, the really funny, good-lookin' guy you met at the bar the other night.
Skylar: I don't recall anyone who matched that description. I think I'd remember.
Will: All right. Well, you got me. It's the ugly, obnoxious toothless loser who got hammered and wouldn't leave you alone all night.
Slylar: Ohhhh, Wiill. I remember.
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Will: What the **** do you want?
Lambeau: 'm Gerald Lambeau. The professor you told to **** himself.
Will: Well what the **** do you want?
Lambeau: 'm Gerald Lambeau. The professor you told to **** himself.
Will: Well what the **** do you want?
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Will: Do you find it hard to hide the fact that you're gay?
Henry Lipton: What're you...what're you talking about...? Wait. WHAAAAT?
Will: Look, buddy, two seconds ago you were ready to give me a jump.
Henry Lipton: A jump?...I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you, but...
Will: Hey, I don't have a problem with it. I don't care if you putt from the rough.
Henry Lipton: What are you..? Pu...Putting from the rough..? What in the heck are you talking about?
Henry Lipton: What're you...what're you talking about...? Wait. WHAAAAT?
Will: Look, buddy, two seconds ago you were ready to give me a jump.
Henry Lipton: A jump?...I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you, but...
Will: Hey, I don't have a problem with it. I don't care if you putt from the rough.
Henry Lipton: What are you..? Pu...Putting from the rough..? What in the heck are you talking about?
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Sean: Trust...very important in a relationship, it's also very important in a clinical situation. Why is trust the most important thing in making a breakthrough with a client? Maureen, stop the oral fixation for a moment and join us. Vinnie.
Vinnie: Um...because uh...trust is...uh...trust is life.
Sean: Wow. That's very deep. Thank you, Vinnie. Next time get the notes from your brother. Now, the patient is here to say nothing. If trusting won't go past this, then there's really no point in them being in therapy. I mean, hey, if they don't trust you, you know, you're never gonna get them to sleep with ya' and that should be the goal of any good therapist...nail them while they're vulnerable. That's my motto.....Oh, good, everyone's back. Welcome back everybody.
Vinnie: Um...because uh...trust is...uh...trust is life.
Sean: Wow. That's very deep. Thank you, Vinnie. Next time get the notes from your brother. Now, the patient is here to say nothing. If trusting won't go past this, then there's really no point in them being in therapy. I mean, hey, if they don't trust you, you know, you're never gonna get them to sleep with ya' and that should be the goal of any good therapist...nail them while they're vulnerable. That's my motto.....Oh, good, everyone's back. Welcome back everybody.
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Sean: If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will ****in' end you. Got that, chief?
Will: Time's up.
Will: Time's up.
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Skylar: I'm going there [Stanford] in June when I graduate.
Will: Oh, all right, so you just wanted to--to use this sailor and then uh..run away, huh?
Skylar: Well, I was gonna, you know, experiment on you for anatomy class first. Obviously.
Will: Oh, all right, so you just wanted to--to use this sailor and then uh..run away, huh?
Skylar: Well, I was gonna, you know, experiment on you for anatomy class first. Obviously.
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Skylar: You were hoping to get a goodnight kiss.
Will: No, you know. I'll tell ya, I was hoping to get a goodnight lay... But I'll settle for like, a kiss, you know.
Skylar: [Bursts out laughing] How very noble of you.
Will: Thank you. But I was, you know, hoping for a good night kiss.
Skylar: Well, let's just get it over with.
Will: Right now?
Skylar: Yup. Come on.
[They have their first kiss, Skylar giggling the whole time]
Skylar: [after a few seconds, Skylar bursts out laughing] I think I got some of your pickle!
Will: No, you know. I'll tell ya, I was hoping to get a goodnight lay... But I'll settle for like, a kiss, you know.
Skylar: [Bursts out laughing] How very noble of you.
Will: Thank you. But I was, you know, hoping for a good night kiss.
Skylar: Well, let's just get it over with.
Will: Right now?
Skylar: Yup. Come on.
[They have their first kiss, Skylar giggling the whole time]
Skylar: [after a few seconds, Skylar bursts out laughing] I think I got some of your pickle!
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Sean: I thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting.
Will: Yeah?
Sean: Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me...I fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?
Will: No.
Sean: You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.
Will: Why thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope.
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable— known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you. That could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel. To have that love for her, be there for forever. Through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term 'visiting hours' don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you— I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a ****y, scared-shitless kid. But you're a genius Will, no one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me, because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my ****in' life apart. You're an orphan right?"
[Will nods]
Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life's been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some ****in' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.
Will: Yeah?
Sean: Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me...I fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?
Will: No.
Sean: You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.
Will: Why thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope.
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable— known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you. That could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel. To have that love for her, be there for forever. Through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term 'visiting hours' don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you— I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a ****y, scared-shitless kid. But you're a genius Will, no one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me, because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my ****in' life apart. You're an orphan right?"
[Will nods]
Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life's been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some ****in' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.
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[Will calls Skylar, but hangs up]
Chuckie: Who'd you call?
Will: No one. I forgot the number.
Morgan: You're ****ing ****ed. You went all the way out there in the rain and you didn't bring the number?
Will: No, it was your mother's 900 number, I just ran outta' quarters.
Morgan: Why don't we get off of mothers I just got off of yours.
Chuckie: Who'd you call?
Will: No one. I forgot the number.
Morgan: You're ****ing ****ed. You went all the way out there in the rain and you didn't bring the number?
Will: No, it was your mother's 900 number, I just ran outta' quarters.
Morgan: Why don't we get off of mothers I just got off of yours.
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Lambeau: What do you mean you didn't talk? You were in there for an hour.
Sean: He just sat there counting the seconds until the session was over. Pretty impressive, actually.
Lambeau: Why would he do that?
Sean: To prove to me he doesn't have to talk to me if he doesn't want to.
Lambeau: What is this, some kind of staring contest between two kids from the old neighborhood?
Sean: Yeah, it is. And I can't talk first.
Sean: He just sat there counting the seconds until the session was over. Pretty impressive, actually.
Lambeau: Why would he do that?
Sean: To prove to me he doesn't have to talk to me if he doesn't want to.
Lambeau: What is this, some kind of staring contest between two kids from the old neighborhood?
Sean: Yeah, it is. And I can't talk first.
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Will: You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sitting there and uh...the captain gets on, he does his whole, you know, we'll be cruisin' at 35,000 feet. But then he puts the mic down n forgets to turn it off.
Sean: Mmm-hmm.
Will: And so he turns to the co-pilot 'n' he's like, "You know, all I could use right now is a ****in' blow job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess ****in' goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him that the microphone's still on. And this guy in the back of the plane is like, "Hey, hon, don't forget the coffee!"
Sean: [laughs] You ever been on a plane?
Will: No, but it's a ****in' joke. It works better if I tell it in the first person.
Sean: Yeah, it does.
Sean: Mmm-hmm.
Will: And so he turns to the co-pilot 'n' he's like, "You know, all I could use right now is a ****in' blow job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess ****in' goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him that the microphone's still on. And this guy in the back of the plane is like, "Hey, hon, don't forget the coffee!"
Sean: [laughs] You ever been on a plane?
Will: No, but it's a ****in' joke. It works better if I tell it in the first person.
Sean: Yeah, it does.
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Will: [about Skylar] Don't worry about me, I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, but this girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She's different from most of the girls I've been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's ****in' boring? Y'know? I mean...this girl is like ****in' perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody...My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. [they laugh] Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her...Oh God...
Will: She woke herself up?
Sean: Yes!.... Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old ****er like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.
Will: Why not? You told me every other ****in' thing. Jesus Christ. ****in' talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.
Sean: I teach this shit, I didn't say I know how to do it.
Will: Yeah...You ever think about gettin' remarried?
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Hence the word: remarried.
Sean: She's dead.
Will: Yeah...Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.
Sean: Time's up.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's ****in' boring? Y'know? I mean...this girl is like ****in' perfect right now, I don't wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't wanna ruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will, that way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody...My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful idiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. [they laugh] Sorry I shared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't have the heart to tell her...Oh God...
Will: She woke herself up?
Sean: Yes!.... Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead two years and that's the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds. You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfect for each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about. Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you're findin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learn from an old ****er like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.
Will: Why not? You told me every other ****in' thing. Jesus Christ. ****in' talk more than any shrink I ever seen in my life.
Sean: I teach this shit, I didn't say I know how to do it.
Will: Yeah...You ever think about gettin' remarried?
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Hence the word: remarried.
Sean: She's dead.
Will: Yeah...Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I mean that way you could actually go through the rest of your life without ever really knowing anybody.
Sean: Time's up.
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Skylar: Do you have lots of brothers and sisters?
Will: I'm Irish Catholic, what do you think?
Skylar: But how many?
Will: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Skylar: Why? Go on, what, 5? 7? 8? How many?
Will: I have 12 big brothers.
Skylar: You do not have 12 brothers.
Will: I swear to God, I swear to God, I'm lucky 13 right here.
Skylar: Do you know all their names?
Will: Do I... yeah they're my brothers.
Skylar: What are they called?
Will: Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar: Say it again.
Will: Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar: ...and Willy.
Will: Willy? Will...
Will: I'm Irish Catholic, what do you think?
Skylar: But how many?
Will: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Skylar: Why? Go on, what, 5? 7? 8? How many?
Will: I have 12 big brothers.
Skylar: You do not have 12 brothers.
Will: I swear to God, I swear to God, I'm lucky 13 right here.
Skylar: Do you know all their names?
Will: Do I... yeah they're my brothers.
Skylar: What are they called?
Will: Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar: Say it again.
Will: Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny, and Brian.
Skylar: ...and Willy.
Will: Willy? Will...
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Will: You ever wonder what your life would be like if you uh..if you never met your wife?
Sean: What? Wonder if I'd be better off without her?
Will: No, no, no, I'm not saying, like, better off.
Sean: No.
Will: I didn't mean it like that.
Sean: It's all right. It's an important question. Because you'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to.
Will: And you don't regret meeting your wife?
Sean: Why? Because of the pain I feel now? Well, I got regrets, Will, but I don't regret a single day I spent with her.
Sean: What? Wonder if I'd be better off without her?
Will: No, no, no, I'm not saying, like, better off.
Sean: No.
Will: I didn't mean it like that.
Sean: It's all right. It's an important question. Because you'll have bad times, but that'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to.
Will: And you don't regret meeting your wife?
Sean: Why? Because of the pain I feel now? Well, I got regrets, Will, but I don't regret a single day I spent with her.
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Will: So, when did you know, like, that she was the one for you?
Sean: October 21st, 1975.
Will: Jesus Christ. You know the ****in' date?
Sean: Oh yeah. Cus' it was game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history.
Will: Yeah, sure.
Sean: My friends and I had, you know, slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets.
Will: You got tickets?
Sean: Yep. Day of the game. I was sittin' in a bar, waitin' for the game to start, and in walks this girl... Oh it was an amazing game, though. You know, bottom of the 8th Carbo ties it up at a 6-6. It went to 12. Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton Fisk. Old Pudge. Steps up to the plate, you know, and he's got that weird stance.
Will: Yeah, yeah.
Sean: And BAM! He clocks it. High fly ball down the left field line! Thirty-five thousand people, on their feet, yellin' at the ball, but that's not because of Fisk. He's wavin' at the ball like a madman.
Will: Yeah, I've seen...
Sean: He's going, "Get over! Get over! Get OVER!" And then it HITS the foul pole. OH, he goes apeshit, and 35,000 fans, you know, they charge the field, you know?
Will: Yeah, and he's ****in' bowlin' police out of the way!
Sean: Goin', "God! Get out of the way! Get 'em away!" Banging people...
Will: I can't ****in' believe you had tickets to that ****in' game!
Sean: Yeah!
Will: Did you rush the field?
Sean: No, I didn't rush the ****in' field, I wasn't there.
Will: What?
Sean: No - I was in a bar havin' a drink with my future wife.
Will: You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun?
Sean: Oh yeah.
Will: To have a ****in' drink with some lady you never met?
Sean: Yeah, but you shoulda seen her. She was a stunner.
Will: I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's game six!
Sean: Oh, Helen of Troy...
Will: Oh my God, and who are these ****in' friends of yours they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh... They had to.
Will: W-w-w-what'd you say to them?
Sean: I just slid my ticket across the table and I said, "Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl."
Will: I gotta go see about a girl?
Sean: Yeah.
Will: That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.
Will: You're kiddin' me.
Sean: No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.
[pause]
Will: Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.
Sean: [shrugs sheepishly] I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer!
Sean: October 21st, 1975.
Will: Jesus Christ. You know the ****in' date?
Sean: Oh yeah. Cus' it was game six of the World Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history.
Will: Yeah, sure.
Sean: My friends and I had, you know, slept out on the sidewalk all night to get tickets.
Will: You got tickets?
Sean: Yep. Day of the game. I was sittin' in a bar, waitin' for the game to start, and in walks this girl... Oh it was an amazing game, though. You know, bottom of the 8th Carbo ties it up at a 6-6. It went to 12. Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton Fisk. Old Pudge. Steps up to the plate, you know, and he's got that weird stance.
Will: Yeah, yeah.
Sean: And BAM! He clocks it. High fly ball down the left field line! Thirty-five thousand people, on their feet, yellin' at the ball, but that's not because of Fisk. He's wavin' at the ball like a madman.
Will: Yeah, I've seen...
Sean: He's going, "Get over! Get over! Get OVER!" And then it HITS the foul pole. OH, he goes apeshit, and 35,000 fans, you know, they charge the field, you know?
Will: Yeah, and he's ****in' bowlin' police out of the way!
Sean: Goin', "God! Get out of the way! Get 'em away!" Banging people...
Will: I can't ****in' believe you had tickets to that ****in' game!
Sean: Yeah!
Will: Did you rush the field?
Sean: No, I didn't rush the ****in' field, I wasn't there.
Will: What?
Sean: No - I was in a bar havin' a drink with my future wife.
Will: You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun?
Sean: Oh yeah.
Will: To have a ****in' drink with some lady you never met?
Sean: Yeah, but you shoulda seen her. She was a stunner.
Will: I don't care if Helen of Troy walks in the room, that's game six!
Sean: Oh, Helen of Troy...
Will: Oh my God, and who are these ****in' friends of yours they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh... They had to.
Will: W-w-w-what'd you say to them?
Sean: I just slid my ticket across the table and I said, "Sorry guys, I gotta see about a girl."
Will: I gotta go see about a girl?
Sean: Yeah.
Will: That's what you said? And they let you get away with that?
Sean: Oh yeah. They saw in my eyes that I meant it.
Will: You're kiddin' me.
Sean: No, I'm not kiddin' you, Will. That's why I'm not talkin' right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don't regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don't regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don't regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don't regret missin' the damn game. That's regret.
[pause]
Will: Wow... Woulda been nice to catch that game, though.
Sean: [shrugs sheepishly] I didn't know Pudge was gonna hit a homer!
View Quote
Skylar: What if I said I would not sleep with you again until you let me meet your friends?
Will: I'd say it's like 4:30 in the morning, they're probably up.
Skylar: Oh my god. Men are shameless. If you're not thinking with your wiener, then you're acting directly on its behalf.
Will: You bet. And on behalf of my wiener, can I get like an advanced payment?
Will: I'd say it's like 4:30 in the morning, they're probably up.
Skylar: Oh my god. Men are shameless. If you're not thinking with your wiener, then you're acting directly on its behalf.
Will: You bet. And on behalf of my wiener, can I get like an advanced payment?
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Morgan: Man, I can't believe you brought Skylar here when we're all ****ing bombed and been drinking. What the **** is she gonna think about us?
Will: Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.
Will: Yeah, Morgan, it's a real rarity that we'd be out drinking.
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Lambeau: [ordering drinks] Perrier.
Sean: That's French for "club soda."
...
Sean: Put it on my tab
Tim: You ever plan on paying your tab?
Sean: Yeah, chief. I've got the winning lottery ticket right here.
Tim: What's the jackpot?
Sean: Twelve million.
Tim: I don't think that will cover it.
Sean: Yeah, but it'll cover your sex change operation!
Sean: That's French for "club soda."
...
Sean: Put it on my tab
Tim: You ever plan on paying your tab?
Sean: Yeah, chief. I've got the winning lottery ticket right here.
Tim: What's the jackpot?
Sean: Twelve million.
Tim: I don't think that will cover it.
Sean: Yeah, but it'll cover your sex change operation!
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Executive 1: Well, Will, I'm not exactly sure what you mean, we've already offered you a position..
Chuckie: Since this is obviously not my first time in such altercations, let me say this: [rubs thumb and fingers together, signifying cash] Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
[The executives are silent]
Chuckie: At the current time I am looking at a number of different fields from which to disseminate which offer is most pursuant to my benefit. What do you want? What do I want? What does anybody want? Leniency.
Executive 1: I'm not sure--
Chuckie: --These cir****stances are mitigated. Right now. They're mitigated. [throws his hands up]
Executive 1: Okay...
Chuckie: [pointing to one of the executives] He knows what I'm talking about. A retainer. Nobody in this town works without a retainer. You think you can find someone who does, you have my blessin'. But I think we all know that person isn't going to represent you as well as I can.
Executive 1: Will, our offer starts you at eighty- four thousand a year, plus benefits.
Chuckie: Retainer...
Executive: You want us to give you cash right now?
Chuckie: Allegedly, what I am saying is your situation will be concurrently improved if I had two hundred bucks in my pocket right now.
[The executives exchange looks and go for their wallets.]
Executive 1: I don't think I...Larry?
Executive 2: I have about seventy-three...
Executive 1: Will you take a check?
Chuckie: Come now...what do you think I am, a juvenile? You don't got any money on you right now. You think I'm gonna take a check?
Executive 3: It's fine, John, I can cover the rest.
Chuckie: That's right, you know. He knows.
[Chuckie stands up and takes the money.]
Chuckie: [to Executive 1] You're suspect. Yeah, you. I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be looking into you. Now the business we have here to for you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day gentlemen and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.
Chuckie: Since this is obviously not my first time in such altercations, let me say this: [rubs thumb and fingers together, signifying cash] Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
[The executives are silent]
Chuckie: At the current time I am looking at a number of different fields from which to disseminate which offer is most pursuant to my benefit. What do you want? What do I want? What does anybody want? Leniency.
Executive 1: I'm not sure--
Chuckie: --These cir****stances are mitigated. Right now. They're mitigated. [throws his hands up]
Executive 1: Okay...
Chuckie: [pointing to one of the executives] He knows what I'm talking about. A retainer. Nobody in this town works without a retainer. You think you can find someone who does, you have my blessin'. But I think we all know that person isn't going to represent you as well as I can.
Executive 1: Will, our offer starts you at eighty- four thousand a year, plus benefits.
Chuckie: Retainer...
Executive: You want us to give you cash right now?
Chuckie: Allegedly, what I am saying is your situation will be concurrently improved if I had two hundred bucks in my pocket right now.
[The executives exchange looks and go for their wallets.]
Executive 1: I don't think I...Larry?
Executive 2: I have about seventy-three...
Executive 1: Will you take a check?
Chuckie: Come now...what do you think I am, a juvenile? You don't got any money on you right now. You think I'm gonna take a check?
Executive 3: It's fine, John, I can cover the rest.
Chuckie: That's right, you know. He knows.
[Chuckie stands up and takes the money.]
Chuckie: [to Executive 1] You're suspect. Yeah, you. I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be looking into you. Now the business we have here to for you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day gentlemen and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone.
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Skylar: I don't understand how your mind works.
Will: Do you play the piano?
Skylar: I wanna talk about this.
Will: No, I'm tryin' to explain it to you. Do you play the piano?
Skylar: Yeah, a bit.
Will: Okay, when you look at a piano you see Mozart, right?
Skylar: I see "Chopsticks."
Will: Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.
Skylar: So what are you saying? You play the piano?
Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway, and I can't play the piano.
Skylar: But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.
Will: Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.
Will: Do you play the piano?
Skylar: I wanna talk about this.
Will: No, I'm tryin' to explain it to you. Do you play the piano?
Skylar: Yeah, a bit.
Will: Okay, when you look at a piano you see Mozart, right?
Skylar: I see "Chopsticks."
Will: Beethoven, okay. He looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play.
Skylar: So what are you saying? You play the piano?
Will: No, not a lick. I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But Beethoven, Mozart, they saw it, they could just play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway, and I can't play the piano.
Skylar: But you can do my o-chem paper in under an hour.
Will: Right. Well, I mean when it came to stuff like that... I could always just play.
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Skylar: Well, what aren't you scared of? You live in this safe little world where no one challenges you and you're scared shitless to do anything else but defend yourself because that would mean you'd hafta' change.
Will: Oh no. Don't, don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world! I mean you just wanna have you fling with like the guy from the other side of town. Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you're going to marry some rich prick who your parents will approve of and just sit around with the other trust fund babies and talk about how you went slumming too, once.
Skylar: Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. You don't think that every day I wake up and wish I could give it back? That I would give it back in a second if I could have one more day with him? But I can't, and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your shit on me when you're the one that's afraid.
Will: I'm afraid? What am I afraid of? What the **** am I afraid of?
Skylar: You're afraid of me! You're afraid that I won't love you back! **** it, I wanna give it a shot! At least I'm honest with you.
Will: Oh no. Don't, don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world! I mean you just wanna have you fling with like the guy from the other side of town. Then you're going to go off to Stanford, you're going to marry some rich prick who your parents will approve of and just sit around with the other trust fund babies and talk about how you went slumming too, once.
Skylar: Why are you saying this? What is your obsession with this money? My father died when I was 13 and I inherited this money. You don't think that every day I wake up and wish I could give it back? That I would give it back in a second if I could have one more day with him? But I can't, and that's my life and I deal with it. So don't put your shit on me when you're the one that's afraid.
Will: I'm afraid? What am I afraid of? What the **** am I afraid of?
Skylar: You're afraid of me! You're afraid that I won't love you back! **** it, I wanna give it a shot! At least I'm honest with you.
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Will: What do you want to know? What? That I don't have twelve brothers?
Skylar: Yes.
Will: That I'm a ****in' orphan!
Skylar: Yes.
Will: No, you don't wanna hear that!
Skylar: I didn't know that.
Will: No, you don't wanna hear that.
Skylar: I didn't know it.
Will: You don't wanna hear that I had ****in' cigarettes put out on me when I was a little kid.
Skylar: Oh...I didn't know that...
Will: That this isn't ****in' surgery, that the mother****er stabbed me. You don't wanna hear that shit, Skylar.
Skylar: I do wanna hear it.
Will: Don't tell me you want to hear that shit!
Skylar: I want to hear it because I want to help you. Because I want to--
Will: Help me! What the ****? What I got a ****ing sign on my back? That says "save me?"
Skylar: No.
Will: Do I look like I need that?
Skylar: No. God, I just want to be with you because I love you!
Will: Don't bullshit me. Don't bullshit me. Don't you ****in' bullshit me!
Skylar: I love you. I wanna hear you say that you don't love me. Because if you say that, then I won't call you, and I won't be in your life...
Will: I don't love you.
Skylar: Yes.
Will: That I'm a ****in' orphan!
Skylar: Yes.
Will: No, you don't wanna hear that!
Skylar: I didn't know that.
Will: No, you don't wanna hear that.
Skylar: I didn't know it.
Will: You don't wanna hear that I had ****in' cigarettes put out on me when I was a little kid.
Skylar: Oh...I didn't know that...
Will: That this isn't ****in' surgery, that the mother****er stabbed me. You don't wanna hear that shit, Skylar.
Skylar: I do wanna hear it.
Will: Don't tell me you want to hear that shit!
Skylar: I want to hear it because I want to help you. Because I want to--
Will: Help me! What the ****? What I got a ****ing sign on my back? That says "save me?"
Skylar: No.
Will: Do I look like I need that?
Skylar: No. God, I just want to be with you because I love you!
Will: Don't bullshit me. Don't bullshit me. Don't you ****in' bullshit me!
Skylar: I love you. I wanna hear you say that you don't love me. Because if you say that, then I won't call you, and I won't be in your life...
Will: I don't love you.
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Will: Look. Maybe I don't want to spend the rest of my ****in' life sittin' around explaining shit to people.
Lambeau: I think you could show me some appreciation.
Will: A little appreciation? Do you know how easy this is for me? Do you have any ****in' idea how easy this is? This is a ****in' joke. And I'm sorry you can't do this. I really am because I wouldn't have to ****in' sit here and watch you fumble around and **** it up.
Lambeau: Then you'd have more time to sit around and get drunk instead, wouldn't you?
Will: You're right. This is probably a total waste of my time.
Lambeau: You're right, Will. I can't do this proof. But you can, and when it comes to that it's only about... it's just a handful of people in the world who can tell the difference between you and me. But I'm one of them.
Will: Sorry.
Lambeau: Yeah, so am I. Most days I wish I never met you. Because then I could sleep at night, and I wouldn't...and I wouldn't have to walk around with the knowledge that there's someone like you out there. And I didn't have to watch you throw it all away.
Lambeau: I think you could show me some appreciation.
Will: A little appreciation? Do you know how easy this is for me? Do you have any ****in' idea how easy this is? This is a ****in' joke. And I'm sorry you can't do this. I really am because I wouldn't have to ****in' sit here and watch you fumble around and **** it up.
Lambeau: Then you'd have more time to sit around and get drunk instead, wouldn't you?
Will: You're right. This is probably a total waste of my time.
Lambeau: You're right, Will. I can't do this proof. But you can, and when it comes to that it's only about... it's just a handful of people in the world who can tell the difference between you and me. But I'm one of them.
Will: Sorry.
Lambeau: Yeah, so am I. Most days I wish I never met you. Because then I could sleep at night, and I wouldn't...and I wouldn't have to walk around with the knowledge that there's someone like you out there. And I didn't have to watch you throw it all away.
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Chuckie: Wait, Bill. Hold it. Did you hear that?
[Man moans upstairs]
Chuckie: Morgan! If you're watching pornos in my mom's room again, I'm gonna give you a ****ing beating!
[Morgan runs downstairs, holding a baseball glove]
Morgan: What's up fellas?
Billy: Morgan, why don't you jerk off in your own ****ing house. Man, that's ****ing filthy.
Morgan: Well there's a VCR in my house.
Chuckie: Aw, c'mon, not on my glove.
Morgan: I didn't use the glove.
Chuckie: That's my Little League glove.
Morgan: What do you want me to do?
Chuckie: I mean, what's wrong with you? You'll hump a baseball glove?
Morgan: I wasn't... I didn't... I was just usin' it for the.. for clean-up.
Chuckie: Stop jerking off in my mother's room, please!
Morgan: Is there another VCR in the house?
Chuckie: It's just sad bro.
[Man moans upstairs]
Chuckie: Morgan! If you're watching pornos in my mom's room again, I'm gonna give you a ****ing beating!
[Morgan runs downstairs, holding a baseball glove]
Morgan: What's up fellas?
Billy: Morgan, why don't you jerk off in your own ****ing house. Man, that's ****ing filthy.
Morgan: Well there's a VCR in my house.
Chuckie: Aw, c'mon, not on my glove.
Morgan: I didn't use the glove.
Chuckie: That's my Little League glove.
Morgan: What do you want me to do?
Chuckie: I mean, what's wrong with you? You'll hump a baseball glove?
Morgan: I wasn't... I didn't... I was just usin' it for the.. for clean-up.
Chuckie: Stop jerking off in my mother's room, please!
Morgan: Is there another VCR in the house?
Chuckie: It's just sad bro.
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Sean: Do you have a soul mate?
Will: Define that.
Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.
Will: Sure, I got plenty.
Sean: Well, name them.
Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner, Kant, Pope, Locke...
Sean: Well that's great. They're all dead.
Will: Not to me, they're not.
Sean: You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.
Will: Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts.
Sean: Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. You'll never have that kind of a relationship in a world where you're always afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing ten miles down the road.
Will: Define that.
Sean: Someone you can relate to, someone who opens things up for you.
Will: Sure, I got plenty.
Sean: Well, name them.
Will: Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost, O'Conner, Kant, Pope, Locke...
Sean: Well that's great. They're all dead.
Will: Not to me, they're not.
Sean: You can't have a lot of dialogue with them.
Will: Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts.
Sean: Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. You'll never have that kind of a relationship in a world where you're always afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing ten miles down the road.
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Will: I didn't ask for this.
Sean: No, you were born with it. So don't cop out behind "I didn't ask for this".
Sean: No, you were born with it. So don't cop out behind "I didn't ask for this".
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Sean: My dad laid brick. Okay? Busted his ass so I could have an education.
Will: Exactly. That's an honorable profession. What's wrong with..with fixing somebody's car. Someone can get to work the next day because of me. There's honor in that.
Sean: There's honor, ya know, in taking that 40-minute so those college kids could come in the morning and their floors are clean and their wastebaskets are empty. That's real work.
Will: That's right.
Sean: Right, and that's honorable. Sure that's why you took that job. I mean for the 'honor' of it. I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole ****in' world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it? 'Cause I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will. So what do you really want to do?
Will: I wanna be a shepherd.
Sean: Really.
Will: I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little spread, get some sheep and tend to them.
Sean: Maybe you should go do that.
Will: What?
Sean: You know, if you're going to jerk off, why don't you just do it at home with a moist towel?
Will: Exactly. That's an honorable profession. What's wrong with..with fixing somebody's car. Someone can get to work the next day because of me. There's honor in that.
Sean: There's honor, ya know, in taking that 40-minute so those college kids could come in the morning and their floors are clean and their wastebaskets are empty. That's real work.
Will: That's right.
Sean: Right, and that's honorable. Sure that's why you took that job. I mean for the 'honor' of it. I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole ****in' world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it? 'Cause I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will. So what do you really want to do?
Will: I wanna be a shepherd.
Sean: Really.
Will: I wanna move up to Nashua, get a nice little spread, get some sheep and tend to them.
Sean: Maybe you should go do that.
Will: What?
Sean: You know, if you're going to jerk off, why don't you just do it at home with a moist towel?
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Chuckie: Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll ****in' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll ****in' kill you.
Will: What the **** are you talkin' about?
Chuckie: Look, you got somethin' that none of us-
Will: Oh, come on! Why is it always this, I mean, I ****in' owe it to myself to do this or that? What if I don't want to?
Chuckie: No. No, no, no. No, **** you. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this shit. And that's all right, that's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. `Cause I'd do anything to ****in' have what you got. So would any of these ****in' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in twenty years. Hanging around here is a ****in' waste of your time.
Will: You don't know that.
Chuckie: I don't?
Will: No. You don't know that.
Chuckie: Oh, I don't know that. Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.
Will: What the **** are you talkin' about?
Chuckie: Look, you got somethin' that none of us-
Will: Oh, come on! Why is it always this, I mean, I ****in' owe it to myself to do this or that? What if I don't want to?
Chuckie: No. No, no, no. No, **** you. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this shit. And that's all right, that's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. `Cause I'd do anything to ****in' have what you got. So would any of these ****in' guys. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in twenty years. Hanging around here is a ****in' waste of your time.
Will: You don't know that.
Chuckie: I don't?
Will: No. You don't know that.
Chuckie: Oh, I don't know that. Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up. And we go out we have a few drinks and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I pull up to the curb to when I get to your door. Because I think maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.
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Lambeau: You're angry at me for doing what you could have done but ask yourself, Sean. Ask yourself if you want Will to feel that way, if you want him to feel like a failure.
Sean: Oh, you arrogant shit! That's why I don't come to the goddamned reunions 'cause I can't stand that look in your eye. Ya know, that condescending, embarrassed look. You think I'm a failure. I know who I am, and I'm proud of what I do. I was a conscientious choice, I didn't **** up! And you and your cronies think I'm some sort of pity case. You and your kiss-ass chorus following you around going, "The Field's Medal! The Field's Medal!" Why are you still so ****in' afraid of failure?
...
Sean: You know what, Gerry? Shove the medal up your ****in' ass, all right? Because I don't give a shit about your medal because I knew you long before you ever became a mathematical god, I knew you when you were pimple faced and homesick and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on!
Lambeau: Yeah, you were smarter than me then, and you're smarter than me now. So, don't blame me for how your life turned out.
Sean: I don't blame you! It's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy! He's a good kid! And I won't see you **** him up like you're trying to **** up me right now! I won't let you make him feel like a failure too!
Sean: Oh, you arrogant shit! That's why I don't come to the goddamned reunions 'cause I can't stand that look in your eye. Ya know, that condescending, embarrassed look. You think I'm a failure. I know who I am, and I'm proud of what I do. I was a conscientious choice, I didn't **** up! And you and your cronies think I'm some sort of pity case. You and your kiss-ass chorus following you around going, "The Field's Medal! The Field's Medal!" Why are you still so ****in' afraid of failure?
...
Sean: You know what, Gerry? Shove the medal up your ****in' ass, all right? Because I don't give a shit about your medal because I knew you long before you ever became a mathematical god, I knew you when you were pimple faced and homesick and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on!
Lambeau: Yeah, you were smarter than me then, and you're smarter than me now. So, don't blame me for how your life turned out.
Sean: I don't blame you! It's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy! He's a good kid! And I won't see you **** him up like you're trying to **** up me right now! I won't let you make him feel like a failure too!
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Will: [Sean is going through Will's profile. Inside we see are pictures of Will after brutal assaults by his foster parents] You ever have any, uh, experience with that?
Sean: Twenty years of counseling, I've seen some pretty awful shit.
Will: No. I mean, have you ever had any experience with that?
Sean: Personally? Yeah. Yeah I have.
[Sean looks away for a moment]
Will: I'm sure it ain't good.
Sean: My father was an alcoholic. Mean ****in' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: Why?
Will: Cause **** him, that' why.
Sean: Your foster father?
Will: Yeah.
[pause]
Will: So what does it say? Will has an attachment disorder? Fear of abandonment? Is that why I broke up with Skylar?
Sean: Didn't know you had. Wanna talk about it?
[Will shakes his head, stares off]
Sean: Will, you see this, all this shit?
[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]
Sean: It's not your fault.
Will: [Softly, still staring off] I know...
Sean: No you don't. It's not your fault.
Will: [Serious] I know.
Sean: No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.
Will: I know that.
Sean: It's not your fault.
[Will is silent, eyes closed]
Sean: [steps closer] It's not your fault.
Will: [Will's eyes open, misty already] Don't **** with me Sean. Not you.
Sean: [steps even closer] It's not your fault.
[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will's shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Will: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Sean!
[Will continues sobbing in Sean's arms]
Sean: Twenty years of counseling, I've seen some pretty awful shit.
Will: No. I mean, have you ever had any experience with that?
Sean: Personally? Yeah. Yeah I have.
[Sean looks away for a moment]
Will: I'm sure it ain't good.
Sean: My father was an alcoholic. Mean ****in' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: Why?
Will: Cause **** him, that' why.
Sean: Your foster father?
Will: Yeah.
[pause]
Will: So what does it say? Will has an attachment disorder? Fear of abandonment? Is that why I broke up with Skylar?
Sean: Didn't know you had. Wanna talk about it?
[Will shakes his head, stares off]
Sean: Will, you see this, all this shit?
[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]
Sean: It's not your fault.
Will: [Softly, still staring off] I know...
Sean: No you don't. It's not your fault.
Will: [Serious] I know.
Sean: No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.
Will: I know that.
Sean: It's not your fault.
[Will is silent, eyes closed]
Sean: [steps closer] It's not your fault.
Will: [Will's eyes open, misty already] Don't **** with me Sean. Not you.
Sean: [steps even closer] It's not your fault.
[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will's shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Will: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Sean!
[Will continues sobbing in Sean's arms]
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Will: [hugging Sean] Does this violate the doctor-patient relationship?
Sean: Not unless you grab my ass.
Sean: Not unless you grab my ass.
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Will: [in a note] Sean, if the Professor calls about that job, just tell him, sorry, I have to go see about a girl.
Sean: Son of a bitch... He stole my line.
Sean: Son of a bitch... He stole my line.