Hard Candy quotes

View Quote Jeff Kohlver: You're getting yourself in terrible trouble.
Hayley Stark: Oh? Oh and how's that?
Jeff Kohlver: If you cut me in any way you won't forget it. It changes you when you hurt somebody.
Hayley Stark: Oh and you speak from experience I guess.
Jeff Kohlver: I've just lived. Unlike you. The things you do wrong... they haunt you.
Hayley Stark: Tell me what you're haunted by.
Jeff Kohlver: Do you wanna remember this day when you're with a guy? On a date? Or on your wedding night? 'Cause I promise you you will. Don't do that to yourself.
Hayley Stark: Wow... You know, that is so thoughtful! You are speaking to me so selflessly! I mean, you just don't want me to castrate you for my own benefit? Wow, I'm touched. Jeff, why don't we imagine someone saying the same thing to you at a random moment? Imagine that when you downloaded this little girl... I was sitting by your side saying, "Stop! Don't do that to yourself!" Would you have listened?

View Quote [about Jeff's testicles] I guess they, uh, weren't brass.

View Quote [holding two glasses filled with a murky, bloody fluid] You want souvenirs? No? What should I do with them? We could see how far they bounce. Then again, some animal might decide they were his afternoon snack. Wouldn't want a little squirrel or coyote to get sick. Especially with you being such a conservationist. Maybe this would be best. Grind them up in the garbage disposal.

View Quote Does your mom know you cut off men’s balls?

View Quote I ****ing hate Goldfrapp.

View Quote I shouldn't have teased you like that. I shouldn't have let you think there was a way out of this.

View Quote I'll take care of everything. [Jeff jumps. Runs after rope and looks down at now hanging Jeff] Or not.

View Quote I'm reading this book about Jean Seberg. [looks at Jeff, who shakes his head] She's this actress who slept with all the wrong people and ended up killing herself.

View Quote Play time is over, Jeff. Now it’s time to wake up.

View Quote Remember what I said about not drinking anything you didn't see made yourself? Good advice for everyone.

View Quote This really is one of the simplest operations you could imagine. Makes me wonder why they teach Girl Scouts things like camping and selling cookies when they could teach them something really useful like this. [pause] Then again, I wouldn't know how they would design a merit badge for this type of activity.

View Quote Well you look older than you are and you certainly act older than you are.

View Quote Well, 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane.

View Quote You use the same phrases about Goldfrapp that they use on Amazon.com. Busted!

View Quote You’re all just like Janelle, you’re driving me crazy! I can’t stand the head games! You’re right this is me. This is who I am. Thank you for helping me finally see it.