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Annie: I never wanted to be your mother.
Peter: Why?
Annie: I was scared. I didn't feel like a mother. But she pressured me.
Peter: Then why did you have me?
Annie: It wasn't my fault! I tried to stop it.
Peter: How?
Annie: I tried to have a miscarriage.
Peter: How?
Annie: However I could. I did everything they told me not to do, but it didn't work. I'm happy it didn't work.
Peter: You tried to kill me.
Annie: No, I love you!
Peter: [crying] Why did you try to kill me?
Annie: I didn't! I was trying to save you!
Peter: Why?
Annie: I was scared. I didn't feel like a mother. But she pressured me.
Peter: Then why did you have me?
Annie: It wasn't my fault! I tried to stop it.
Peter: How?
Annie: I tried to have a miscarriage.
Peter: How?
Annie: However I could. I did everything they told me not to do, but it didn't work. I'm happy it didn't work.
Peter: You tried to kill me.
Annie: No, I love you!
Peter: [crying] Why did you try to kill me?
Annie: I didn't! I was trying to save you!
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Annie: Steve, uh, upstairs... In the attic when you were gone, I went up there and I... I just... I really need you to go up there and see what I saw. There's a body. Yeah. I mean, I think it's my mother, I think, but I can't tell because the skin's all black and she's all distended but the head is gone. [crying] Will you, please? I just need you to go and see upstairs. Please, Steve. And then there's more.
Steve: You mean more than your mother's headless body? Of course there is.
[Steve looks in the attic, screams, then returns]
Steve: Jesus, ****!
Annie: Okay, there's more.
Steve: What the **** was that? Why didn't you call the police?
Annie: The police can't help us.
Steve: Who the **** is that up there?
Annie: Do you remember Joan, my friend whose grandson died? She took me to her apartment.
Steve: It did look like your mother.
Annie: Well, listen. She taught me how to do the seance. I didn't even want to, but she brought her grandson back and I saw it and felt it just like you did with Charlie. Now, look. This is my mother's album. Now look here. See this? See her? That's her. That's Joan. She didn't even mention knowing my mom and I've never met her before, but she approached me. She consoled me. She told me about this seance, and she showed me how. Now look at this. See this symbol? On the necklace my mom gave me. It's her necklace, right? They're both wearing it, and they're wearing it in every photo. And look at that pattern! Did you see up there? This was painted above the body, right? In blood!
Steve: You dug up the grave. It was you, wasn't it?
Annie: What?
Steve: All those nights you were pretending to go to the movies.
Annie: You're not even listening!
Steve: And then the day the cemetery called, I said, "Oh, I won't tell her because she'd be worried."
Annie: Oh, God damn it! Listen to me, Steve! I know you don't trust me and there is nothing I can do about that. But they put a curse on us when we brought Charlie back. We made a pact with something. Something that is in this house. I don't know what it is but it is after Peter. [shows a journal] I watched these pages fill. All of them are Peter! I'm sorry. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I did but Peter is in danger... And I started it. Now if we destroy this book, it will take me too. I tried to burn it. I tried. But my arm caught on fire on its own as if I was linked to it because I am linked to it. I understand this now. Please! If we don't destroy this book... [crying] Peter will... Oh, God. Do you understand? We have to do this. Please, please, please, please. For Peter. I need you to trust me, Steve. It needs to be me. It's my fault. It's my fault. I know it's my fault. Please. Please, I need you to throw it in the fire. Please, I just... I can't do it. I can't. I'm just too ****ing scared. But if we don't do it... If we don't do it, it's gonna be Peter, it's gonna be our son. Okay, I know this. I know so. Just, please, please, please, please, please... Steve, please. Please understand, baby. Please, please. Please throw it in the fire. Sweetheart, please. Please take it, take it. You gotta do it. You gotta do it.
Steve: You mean more than your mother's headless body? Of course there is.
[Steve looks in the attic, screams, then returns]
Steve: Jesus, ****!
Annie: Okay, there's more.
Steve: What the **** was that? Why didn't you call the police?
Annie: The police can't help us.
Steve: Who the **** is that up there?
Annie: Do you remember Joan, my friend whose grandson died? She took me to her apartment.
Steve: It did look like your mother.
Annie: Well, listen. She taught me how to do the seance. I didn't even want to, but she brought her grandson back and I saw it and felt it just like you did with Charlie. Now, look. This is my mother's album. Now look here. See this? See her? That's her. That's Joan. She didn't even mention knowing my mom and I've never met her before, but she approached me. She consoled me. She told me about this seance, and she showed me how. Now look at this. See this symbol? On the necklace my mom gave me. It's her necklace, right? They're both wearing it, and they're wearing it in every photo. And look at that pattern! Did you see up there? This was painted above the body, right? In blood!
Steve: You dug up the grave. It was you, wasn't it?
Annie: What?
Steve: All those nights you were pretending to go to the movies.
Annie: You're not even listening!
Steve: And then the day the cemetery called, I said, "Oh, I won't tell her because she'd be worried."
Annie: Oh, God damn it! Listen to me, Steve! I know you don't trust me and there is nothing I can do about that. But they put a curse on us when we brought Charlie back. We made a pact with something. Something that is in this house. I don't know what it is but it is after Peter. [shows a journal] I watched these pages fill. All of them are Peter! I'm sorry. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I did but Peter is in danger... And I started it. Now if we destroy this book, it will take me too. I tried to burn it. I tried. But my arm caught on fire on its own as if I was linked to it because I am linked to it. I understand this now. Please! If we don't destroy this book... [crying] Peter will... Oh, God. Do you understand? We have to do this. Please, please, please, please. For Peter. I need you to trust me, Steve. It needs to be me. It's my fault. It's my fault. I know it's my fault. Please. Please, I need you to throw it in the fire. Please, I just... I can't do it. I can't. I'm just too ****ing scared. But if we don't do it... If we don't do it, it's gonna be Peter, it's gonna be our son. Okay, I know this. I know so. Just, please, please, please, please, please... Steve, please. Please understand, baby. Please, please. Please throw it in the fire. Sweetheart, please. Please take it, take it. You gotta do it. You gotta do it.
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Charlie: Who's gonna take care of me?
Annie: Uh, excuse me? You don't think I'm gonna take care of you?
Charlie: But when you die?
Annie: Uh, excuse me? You don't think I'm gonna take care of you?
Charlie: But when you die?
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Joan: Oh, hey, hey, hey. It's alright. Charlie, you're alright, now. You... are Paimon. One of the eight kings of Hell. We have looked to the northwest and called you in. We've collected your first female body and give you now this healthy male host. We reject the trinity and pray devoutly to you, Great Paimon. Give us your knowledge of all secret things, bring us honor, wealth, and good familiars. Bind all men to our will as we have bound ourselves for now and ever to yours. Hail, Paimon!
Worshippers: Hail, Paimon! Hail, Paimon! Hail!
Worshippers: Hail, Paimon! Hail, Paimon! Hail!
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Peter: You okay, Mom?
Annie: What?
Peter: Is there something on your mind?
Annie: Is there something on your mind?
Peter: Just seems like there... might be something you... wanna say.
Steve: Peter.
Annie: Like what? I mean, why would I wanna say something? So I can watch you sneer at me?
Peter: Sneer at you? I don't ever sneer at you.
Annie: Oh, sweetie, you don't have to. You get your point across.
Peter: Okay, so, fine, then say what you wanna say, then.
Steve: Peter.
Annie: I don't wanna say anything. I've tried saying...
Peter: Okay, so try again. Release yourself.
Annie: Oh, release you, you mean?
Peter: Yeah, fine, release me, just say it! Just ****ing say it!
Annie: DON'T you swear at me, you little shit! Don't you EVER raise your voice at me! I am your mother! You understand? All I do is worry and slave and defend you, and all I get back is that ****ing face on your face! So full of disdain and resentment and always so annoyed! Well, now your sister is dead! And I know you miss her and I know it was an accident and I know you're in pain and I wish could take that away for you. I WISH I could shield you from the knowledge that you did what you did, but you're sister is dead! She's gone forever! And what a waste... if it could've maybe brought us together, or something, if you could've just said "I'm sorry" or faced up to what happened, maybe then we could do something with this, but you can't take responsibility for anything! So, now I can't accept. And I can't forgive. Because... because NOBODY admits anything they've done!
Annie: What?
Peter: Is there something on your mind?
Annie: Is there something on your mind?
Peter: Just seems like there... might be something you... wanna say.
Steve: Peter.
Annie: Like what? I mean, why would I wanna say something? So I can watch you sneer at me?
Peter: Sneer at you? I don't ever sneer at you.
Annie: Oh, sweetie, you don't have to. You get your point across.
Peter: Okay, so, fine, then say what you wanna say, then.
Steve: Peter.
Annie: I don't wanna say anything. I've tried saying...
Peter: Okay, so try again. Release yourself.
Annie: Oh, release you, you mean?
Peter: Yeah, fine, release me, just say it! Just ****ing say it!
Annie: DON'T you swear at me, you little shit! Don't you EVER raise your voice at me! I am your mother! You understand? All I do is worry and slave and defend you, and all I get back is that ****ing face on your face! So full of disdain and resentment and always so annoyed! Well, now your sister is dead! And I know you miss her and I know it was an accident and I know you're in pain and I wish could take that away for you. I WISH I could shield you from the knowledge that you did what you did, but you're sister is dead! She's gone forever! And what a waste... if it could've maybe brought us together, or something, if you could've just said "I'm sorry" or faced up to what happened, maybe then we could do something with this, but you can't take responsibility for anything! So, now I can't accept. And I can't forgive. Because... because NOBODY admits anything they've done!
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[at her mother's funeral] It's heartening to see so many strange, new faces here today. I know my mom would be very touched, and probably a little suspicious to see this turnout. So. My mother was a very secretive and private woman. She had private rituals, private friends, private anxieties. It honestly feels like a betrayal just to be standing here talking about her. She was a very difficult woman to read. If you ever thought you knew what was going on with her, and God forbid you tried to confront that. But when her life was unpolluted, she could be the sweetest, warmest, most loving person in the world. She was also incredibly stubborn, which maybe, explains me.
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[to a support group] My mom died a week ago. So I'm just here for trying it. I have a lot of resistance to things like this, but I came to these a couple years ago. Well, I was forced to come and I guess it, um... I guess it helped. So, um... My mom was old and she wasn't all together there at the end. And we were pretty much estranged before that, so it really wasn't a huge blow. But I did love her. And she didn't have an easy life. She had DID, which became extreme at the end. And dementia. And my father died when I was a baby from starvation, um, because he had psychotic depression and he starved himself, which I'm sure was just as pleasant as it sounds. And then there's my brother. My older brother had schizophrenia and when he was 16 he hanged himself in my mother's bedroom and of course the suicide note blamed her accusing her of putting people inside him. So. [sighs] That was my mom's life. And then she lived in our house at the end before hospice. We weren't even talking before that. I mean, we were and then we weren't. And then we were. She's completely manipulative. Until my husband finally enforced a no-contact rule, which lasted until I got pregnant with my daughter. I didn't let her anywhere near me when I had my first, my son, which is why I gave her my daughter, who she immediately stabbed her hooks into. And I just... I felt guilty again. I felt guilty again. When she got sick, not that she was really even my mom at the end, and not that she would ever feel guilty about anything. And I just don't want to put any more stress on my family. I'm not even really sure if they could... Could give me that support. And I just... I just feel like... I just sometimes feel like it's all ruined. [sobbing] And then I realize that I am to blame. Or not that I'm to blame, but I am blamed!
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You know, Annie, you can always build a shrine to all the terrible things in the world, but it doesn't mean that you have to destroy anything that is good.