Home Alone quotes

View Quote Buzz: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room... if you were growing on my ass!

View Quote Frank McCallister: Look what you did, you little jerk!

View Quote Harry: I think we're getting scammed by a kindergartner.

View Quote Jeff McCallister: Kevin, you're such a disease.

View Quote Kate McCallister: This is Christmas, the season of perpetual hope. And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.

View Quote Kate: No, he's just home alone.

View Quote Linnie McCallister: You're what the French call "les incomp?tents".

View Quote Marv: He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.

View Quote Harry: [While in the van with Marv] I don't get it. I mean right now it looks like there's nobody home. Last night, the place was jumping. Something ain't right. [To Marv] Go check it out.
[Long pause. Marv just nods. Harry looks at Marv in a stunned way while Marv looks over at Harry]
Marv: Now?
[Harry fumes]
Harry: No! Tomorrow, Egghead! NOW! GET!
[Marv quickly gets out of the van]
Harry: [To himself] "Now"!?

View Quote Harry: Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you're in there, and that you're all alone.
Marv: Yeah, come on, kid, open up. It's Santy Claus... and his elf!
Harry: We're not gonna hurt you.
Marv: Oh no, no, we got some nice presents for you.
Harry: Be a good little fella now, and open the door. [Kevin shoots Harry in the groin; high-pitched] AHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO... [Fall to his knees, cursing]
Marv: What? What? What?! What happened?!
Harry: Get the little...!
[Marv sticks his head to the dog door and smiles]
Kevin McCallister: Hello.
[Kevin shoots Marv at the head causing him to fall the dog door]
Marv: AH! AHHH!
Kevin McCallister: Yes! Yes!
Marv: The little jerk is armed!
Harry: That's it! That's it! I'm going round the front, you go to the basement!

View Quote Harry: Remember the kid we saw the other day? He lives here.
Marv: Well, if the kid's there, his parents gotta be.
Harry: He's home alone.

View Quote Harry: What's so funny? What are you laughing at? You did it again, didn't you? You left the water running, didn't you? What's wrong with you? Why did you that? I told you not to do it.
Marv: Harry, it's our calling card.
Harry: Calling card.
Marv: All the great ones leave their mark. We're the Wet Bandits.

View Quote Harry: Where did he go?
Marv: Maybe he committed suicide.
Kevin McCallister: Over here you horse-ass. Come and get me before I call the cops.
Marv: Let's get him!
Harry: No, wait! That's just what he wants us to do. To back down through his fun house.
Marv: But he's gonna call the cops!
Harry: He's not gonna call the cops from a treehouse!

View Quote Johnny: [hears knock at door] Who is it?
Snakes: [Snakes comes in] It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here!
Snakes: All right, Johnny, but what about my money?
Johnny: What money?
Snakes: Acey said you had some dough for me.
Johnny: That a fact? How much do I owe ya?
Snakes: Acey said 10%
Johnny: [smirks] Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
Snakes: What do you mean?
Johnny: He's upstairs taking a bath, He'll call you when he gets out. Hey, I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. (pulls out tommy gun)I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!
Snakes: [wide eyed and calm] All right, Johnny, I'm sorry!, I'm going!
Johnny: 1, 2, 10! [starts unloading bullets into Snakes while laughing maniacally]
Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

View Quote Johnny: Who is it?
Pizza Man: It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza.
Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here!
Pizza Man: Okay, but what about the money?
Johnny: What money?
Pizza Man: Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.
Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?
Pizza Man: That'll be $11.80, sir. [Kevin drops $12 cash from the door hatch]
Johnny: Keep the change, ya filthy animal!
Pizza Man: Cheapskate.
Johnny: Hey, I'm going to give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! 1, 2, 10!