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Doug: Hi Peter, I saw your billboards, they're spectacular. I'm sorry for calling you a whore. Best of luck with Sydney, if you're not still together... you can Facebook me.
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Doug: I just wish I could take back that kiss...
Sydney: Woah!
Doug: ...because now I know it was the taste of betrayal.
Peter: It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal.
Peter: It wasn't the ta...
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal...you ****ing whore!
[Storms off]
Peter: I can actually explain that.
Sydney: I would love to hear that!
Sydney: Woah!
Doug: ...because now I know it was the taste of betrayal.
Peter: It wasn't the taste of betrayal!
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal.
Peter: It wasn't the ta...
Doug: It was the taste of betrayal...you ****ing whore!
[Storms off]
Peter: I can actually explain that.
Sydney: I would love to hear that!
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Joyce Klaven: Peter always connected better with women.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter: Oh come on!
Zooey: Good to know.
Oswald: Kid had a Speedo full of Brillo.
Zooey: You know, I can see that because he is a great boyfriend.
Peter: Thank you fiancee.
Oswald Klaven: Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian.
Peter: Oh come on!
Zooey: Good to know.
Oswald: Kid had a Speedo full of Brillo.
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Man In Open House: [after trying to discreetly fart at an open house] I like it, but I'm not sure about the space...I'm thinking it might be a little bit small.
Sydney: Totally, and it smells like fart. Make sure you roll down the windows on the way home, sweetheart.
Sydney: Totally, and it smells like fart. Make sure you roll down the windows on the way home, sweetheart.
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Peter: Hey Mel? Do you have any plans on June 30th?
Mel: I'm 89 years old, what the **** kind of plans would I have?
Mel: I'm 89 years old, what the **** kind of plans would I have?
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Peter: I love you, man.
Sydney: I love you, too, bud.
Peter: I love you, dude.
Sydney: I love you, Bro Montana.
Peter: I love you, Holmes.
Sydney: I love you, Broseph Goebbels.
Peter: I love you, muchacha.
Sydney: I love you, Tycho Brohe.
Sydney: I love you, too, bud.
Peter: I love you, dude.
Sydney: I love you, Bro Montana.
Peter: I love you, Holmes.
Sydney: I love you, Broseph Goebbels.
Peter: I love you, muchacha.
Sydney: I love you, Tycho Brohe.
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Peter: I'm Peter Klaven, I'm the realtor.
Sydney: Hey, check out these two. That guy needs to fart.
Peter: He does seem to be clenching.
Sydney: Watch the leg. Boom!
Peter: He farted in my open house.
Sydney: He sure did. Look at him, crop dusting across your open house.
Sydney: Hey, check out these two. That guy needs to fart.
Peter: He does seem to be clenching.
Sydney: Watch the leg. Boom!
Peter: He farted in my open house.
Sydney: He sure did. Look at him, crop dusting across your open house.
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Peter: Look man, you told my fiancée she needs to give me blowies, in front of my whole family. Alright? You owe me.
Sydney: You make a valid point.
Sydney: You make a valid point.
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Peter: So what do I do? How do I make friends?
Robbie: If you see a cool-looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter: A what?
Robbie: A man date.
Peter: Okay.
Robbie: You know what I mean?
Peter: No.
Robbie: By that I mean casual lunch or after-work drinks, okay? No dinner and no movies. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter: Ohhhh, God I love that movie. [Robbie gives him a look] No, I won't.
Robbie: If you see a cool-looking guy, strike up a conversation and ask him on a man date.
Peter: A what?
Robbie: A man date.
Peter: Okay.
Robbie: You know what I mean?
Peter: No.
Robbie: By that I mean casual lunch or after-work drinks, okay? No dinner and no movies. You're not taking these boys to see The Devil Wears Prada.
Peter: Ohhhh, God I love that movie. [Robbie gives him a look] No, I won't.
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Sydney: [on phone] Just meet me at Muscle Beach in like...I don't know...half an hour?
Peter: Muscle Beach. Half an hour. I will see you there or I will see you on another time.
Sydney: That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not.
Peter: No, I'll be there. I'll be there.
Sydney: [laughing] Alright I'll see you then, buddy.
Peter: Alright. Laters on the menjay. [Hangs up] What did I just say?
Peter: Muscle Beach. Half an hour. I will see you there or I will see you on another time.
Sydney: That was very confusing. I don't know if you're gonna come or not.
Peter: No, I'll be there. I'll be there.
Sydney: [laughing] Alright I'll see you then, buddy.
Peter: Alright. Laters on the menjay. [Hangs up] What did I just say?
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Sydney: Society tells us we're civilized, but the truth is we are animals. Sometimes we just have to let it out. Try it.
Peter: Blaaah!
Sydney: Good. Now gently remove your tampon and try again.
Peter: Blaaah!
Sydney: Good. Now gently remove your tampon and try again.
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Sydney: Wait, you jerked off to a picture of your own girlfriend? You - that - wow, that is sick! Oh my God, what is wrong with you?
Peter: What's wrong with that?
Sydney: Pedro, there is so much wrong - I don't even know where to begin...That is sick, man!
Peter: What's wrong with that?
Sydney: Pedro, there is so much wrong - I don't even know where to begin...That is sick, man!
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Sydney: You get home safe, Pistol.
Peter: You got it, Joben.
Sydney: I'm sorry, what?
Peter: Er...nothing.
Sydney: No, what did you say?
Peter: Nah, I don't know. You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you..."Joben". It means nothing. I don't...I'm drunk, I'm gonna call a cab.
Peter: You got it, Joben.
Sydney: I'm sorry, what?
Peter: Er...nothing.
Sydney: No, what did you say?
Peter: Nah, I don't know. You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you..."Joben". It means nothing. I don't...I'm drunk, I'm gonna call a cab.
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Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon! Slappa de bass mon!
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Totally... Totes McGotes.